Really need help

LegacyUser

hi, i don't know where to start. I feel a bit of a joke for being here asking for help but I don't know where to turn. I'm 21
I was the one everyone called. I was never home. Had close friends.. normal friends. going out friends. the lot. Im known as the funny one .

And now everything's changed. Nobody calls me I've gone 3 days without a phone call or text and 2 of those days were spent in bed. I feel worthless. Not good enough for my friends and there is obviously something wrong with me for everyone to turn away. The friends I do have, I cant tell them whats wrong because one of our other close friends is going through a tough time and it would seem attention seeking for me to bring this up with someone now of all times.

I just dont know what to do.
Im in debt with college over my head. Ive got no friends left that want to be around me. I feel so alone. I hate myself for what I've become. I'm pathetic.
and I dont know what to do .
What am I gonna do I really am lower then ive ever felt in my whole life.

Taltos

Hi OP

sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
I don't want to diagnose here - but maybe go talk to your GP and just explain how you have been feeling. Probably the last thing you want to do but it can help.

In terms of the rest
Debt - unfortunately debt is something that stays with most folk alot of their lives - cars, houses, holidays, clothes - it's endless. You can work on it though - and it is not easy. If you can sit down and work out a budget, start small - track all of your incomings, list all your outgoings - you might need to track it for a few days to build a picture. Figure out who you own money to. etc. See if you need to take a 2nd job (or a first) or if you can cut back a bit for a while - eg less take-aways etc. There are groups out there who can help you with this - I think MABS might be one - but I have no experience with them. When I was in college I ended up getting into a state where I could not meet my repayments as planned - was up to 90 about this. Ended up going into talk to the student manager and worked through a plan - basically I paid what I could (fiver) and during the Summer months I cleared as much as I could from working. When I left college I had quite a big loan - but was able to clear it all within a few months with a wage coming in - something the bank was aware of - and while they hassled me they knew in the long-run that they had me as a customer for life... So not the end of the world - many students get in over their heads with loans - key is to talk to them and figure out how to move forwards. Just be thankful you are not a student in the States - the loans they end up with would bankrupt a small country.

Friends - friendships change - and your age is one where they can shift alot - college, traveling, jobs, new interests, family bereavements etc. You could just be going through one of those phases. However, 2 or 3 days is not that much not to hear from yours mates - for some of my friends - it can be months or years between calls (while in college though we spent every day together...) - but when we do talk it is just like yesterday. I wonder if you would consider getting out there and trying something new where you might meet new people - there are a wide range of things you can do where it is free / cheap - running etc. Again though how you are feeling about this and why is something to discuss with your GP.

Try not to let it all get too much for you - break it down into small steps - and just do what you can on those small items - whether it is spend less today or just arrange a weekly meeting with one of your mates for a chat and a stroll...