Drug temptations

Deus Ex Machina

I am in my first year of college, and I have met a lot of new friends, and I am enjoying myself, but I have found myself reluctant to leave my central group of friends, the same people who have been my friends since early in my school days. I genuinely enjoy their company, and we always have the most stimulating conversations, but there is one problem: drugs.

My friends are all drug users. They haven't expressed these thoughts explicitly, but it seems to me that they think it is cool in a weird nihilistic sort of way. They have never pushed drugs directly, but more and more often I feel drawn towards them, it would be very easy for me to indulge along with them. I do feel as if I am becoming somewhat alienated within the group because of my abstinence.

Is it just a completely terrible idea to take drugs? Am I mad to be having these thoughts, should I just tell them to stuff their drugs and leave them to it?

It is so difficult, these people know me better than anyone, and I genuinely enjoy their company and I would really be losing out if my friendship with them were to end. I just feel very uncomfortable about entering this drug world.

What advice do people have, any similar experiences?

wing52

What worked out for me was just say no!!

I found that when the lads/lassies get used to you,they wont offer.

You just have to find your'e own limits i.e. What you can and cant go along with.

Whether Its bring in the company of people who are too drunk.too high on the weed and not much company

or indulging in the "white stripes" and end up roaring and shouting till 8 in the morning:eek:

You might find it a help to look up the 'net fot info on related topics.

Good luck and dont burn the candle at both ends!

AnonMous

Hey Op,

All i'd say is fair play for not letting yourself be peer pressured into doing anything that you don't want to do.

I'm a drug user myself and I must say, i'm still good friends with my school mates that chose to stay clear of the drugs. They still come to parties and festivals with us that do indulge and we don't put in or out on each other.

I'd never offer the lads drugs of any sort in the same way that I wouldn't expect them to judge me for taking them (not openly judged anyway!!!).

Once your friends are not pushing you into it, you should be grand and if they do, just politely decline and don't give them a reason. Believe me, it'll only be a matter of time before they know you're not into it and eventually, they will respect you 100% for your decision. That's how it is in my circle anyway.

Try not to be worrying about it anyway. If they are your friends, they'll just be happy to be in your company.

Best of luck

DamienH

Don't take anything your not comfortable with taking. It's normal for people to think about taking drugs, at least your realise that some people want to take them and some don't. Your friends should reciprocate this, and if they don't then they don't sound like very nice people. No one should be pushing drugs on you.

I've taken different forms of drugs for the last 5 years and I am still friends with plenty of people who have never taken any. In saying that I have also lost "friends," because they didn't take drugs and were scared of hanging around with people who do.

"Try not to be worrying about it anyway. If they are your friends, they'll just be happy to be in your company." That quote from the last poster sums it up.

LegacyUser

Good on you for standing your ground and saying no.

When I was in my first year in college I took drugs, mainly E, some speed and smoked a little grass.

I can see why you feel alienated, because, from your friends point of view, you're not on the same "buzz" as them, and you don't understand/can't comprehend what it's like to take drugs, and the high it gives.
I'd never condone taking drugs, but for me I enjoyed it, knew my boundaries, had some fun, didn't take anything too hardcore. I'm almost thirty now, work in a professional organisation - my colleagues would never suspect that I was a party girl in my younger days!

My advice would be to stick with your friends who don't take drugs, maybe speak to some of them about it, they might be feeling the same as you.

Good luck.

kjl

Can you elaborate as to what drugs your friends are taking? If its just ecstasy and weed its not really a big deal. Those two drugs are pretty much safe and can be taken with very little consequence. Maybe you feel a little sad the day after ecstasy.

I know Ill get slatted here, but I would say go for it. College is a time for experimenting, and the two drugs mentioned above would be safer than alcohol. See what the big deal is about, if you don't like it you never have to do it again.

You asked in your post, Is it just a completely terrible idea to take drugs? Consider this, the only reason alcohol is still legal is because its so heavily taxed. If they were to make cannabis and ecstasy legal people would spend a lot less money on alcohol and they wouldnt make the same money on the drugs as they are very cheap. So don't take legal status to define safety. Talk to your friends, do some research. Nobody has every died from smoking weed, and the only reason that some people have died from ecstasy is because they drank too much water (like 20-30 pints of water) if you did that without the drug you would die. So if you are going to do it, make sure you do a lot of research.

I would personally buy a testing kit from the internet and test everything I was going to take.

LegacyUser

Please ignore what the guy above has said. I used weed for years and also took ecstacy many times. Some people seem to be ok taking them for years but it catches up with you eventually. I'm off drugs now 4 years and its the best thing you ever do. You will have a way better social life if you never smoke weed, seriously. It turns people into anti-social boring people. This happened me. I used to be very outgoing but then I got too much into weed and it makes you very lazy. You will also f**k up your college results by going near the stuff. All my friends and me were total weed heads for a good number of years during college. We've all grown up and given up the s**t now.

The only fellas still smoking it up regularily are unemployed and living at home with no prospects. A lot of lads dropped out of college a number of times which I directly relate to smoking too much weed. And oh yeah it is addictive in most people.

kjl

jimmyboy66 wrote: »

Please ignore what the guy above has said. I used weed for years and also took ecstacy many times. Some people seem to be ok taking them for years but it catches up with you eventually. I'm off drugs now 4 years and its the best thing you ever do. You will have a way better social life if you never smoke weed, seriously. It turns people into anti-social boring people. This happened me. I used to be very outgoing but then I got too much into weed and it makes you very lazy. You will also f**k up your college results by going near the stuff. All my friends and me were total weed heads for a good number of years during college. We've all grown up and given up the s**t now.

The only fellas still smoking it up regularily are unemployed and living at home with no prospects. A lot of lads dropped out of college a number of times which I directly relate to smoking too much weed. And oh yeah it is addictive in most people.

Well that's more the person not the drug. I smoke weed everyday and I graduated top of my class with a first class honers.

Anyway, I didnt tell him to smoke everyday, I told him to give it a go. Don't be a loser like this guy above, use it, don't abuse it.

Eve_Dublin

Hi OP. I´ll just say that you sound like you´ve got a decent head on your shoulders and won´t do something just to fit in, so whatever you do decide to do, do it because you want to and no other reason.

I´ve been there, done that. Most of my friends at uni were weed smokers (it was that kind of course), I tried it, didn´t like it but continued being friends with them and I never felt judged. I guess I just get along with people who are very stoned!

Other drugs, yep, I tried it and I´ve no regrets...I had great times but I always knew I was strong enough in myself to take it or leave it and it wasn´t a regular occurrence by any means...and I´ve left it over a year and a half now. I found the come downs too much to handle (they can be awful if you´re inclined to get down in the dumps or if you´re going through a rough time) and it wasn´t worth it for me in the end. If you think you´re the kind of person who doesn´t get addicted to anything easily and can generally take or leave anything you try (alcohol for example), then you´re probably okay to experiment BUT again, ONLY do it if you WANT to.

Saying this, I did find drugs excluded those who weren´t on the same "buzz" as us and it created divisions on nights out. No big deal....if you get along with these guys, you´ll remain friends regardless and it would probably be a good idea to try and make some non-drug users as friends as well.

Deus Ex Machina

Thank you very much for your advice, it is along the lines of what I was thinking myself for the most part but it is reassuring to hear it from other sources.

To the poster who asked what drugs they are using, I would rather not say specifically, but I will say that there isn't much they aren't taking.

CluelessGirl

Hey OP,

I was in the same boat as you but like a big fecking eejit...I gave into temptation.

Yes I had some of the best nights of my life and met some different people but at the end of the day its not worth it.

You may try E but as you become braver and more comfortable with the drugs you take you will delve into it further and try new more exciting ones.

Soon you will be living for the weekend and your life will soon revolve around it...especially your social life and you will be given fake confidence from the drugs and a time will come when you wont be able to go out without them.

It was my biggest regret.....got caught up in it for 5/6 years....ended up in rehab.....people who say its harmless ought to be shot.....they are uneducated and delusional....I wont deny it is fun....but the long term consequences are not fun....and the come downs and lows are awful.It will change your spirit and soul forever.

But hey its your life and thats my contribution......wish some one had told me this and I probably would be far more advanced in my life.

Good luck whatever you decide mate

CluelessGirl

kjl wrote: »

Well that's more the person not the drug. I smoke weed everyday and I graduated top of my class with a first class honers.

Anyway, I didnt tell him to smoke everyday, I told him to give it a go. Don't be a loser like this guy above, use it, don't abuse it.

Its first-class' honours'.........must be all the weed your smoking!;)

Blackpitts

i have many friends who have smoked weeds for years. They have problems with remembering things, they cannot focus their attention on something for more than 5 mins, they have up and downs (extremely happy and extremely sad 1 min later)... I'm not sure you want to end like them in few years time, so you'd better change circle of friends because using drugs will lead you in that direction anyway in the long term.
I have also a cousin of mine who has just came out from heavy use of ectasy, i won't go into details but trust me, you really shouldn't try it, just save some big pain to your family.

LegacyUser

OP, I'm a mum and without meaning to sound condescending, I'd be very proud of you if you were my kid and were coming onto boards to question drug-use, before you were just lead by the crowd. So kudos for that.

So to get to my point - I also know many people who tried weed in their early 20's...roll on 15/20yrs and they're still smoking it...in reasonably ok jobs...in reasonably ok accomodation...with reasonably ok relationships.....no aspirations to speak of, no goals...just trundling through life. That's just my own personal experience of the people I know on weed (so don't attack me) - 2 brothers and a first cousin in fact. They also tried the harder stuff when they were younger but 'got it out of their system' and now only use weed....
Two of my nephews best friends od'd on heroin and are now in balgriffin cemetary....
But you know the horror stories OP, without anyone telling you.

My advice would be don't do it...tell your friends you're not interested. If they are good genuine friends, they'll stop offering. If they insist or slag you for not taking something...then get rid because they're not people you want to be associated with.

DamienH

Have a look at erowid.org, it contains a list of peoples experiences with pretty much any drug you can imagine. It gives, in my opinion, a clear and unbiased view of people's drug experiences.

I smoked weed/hash for five years (16-21) and I haven't smoked any in 5 months because I moved country. I also had to stop smoking due to drug tests and it wasn't a problem. Obviously it can be habit forming but you just have to stop. If you decide I don't like how this is making me feel day to day you can just stop smoking.

There are many people who smoke weed and hold down respectable jobs and are dedicated to their work. Teachers, solicitors, doctors you name it. If you smoke some weed you won't become a zombie or anything like that.Just do your own research and at least then you'll be able to make up your own mind.

And above all be responsible! Drugs can be powerful and, if abused, may result in disastrous consequences for you and others around you.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I was the exact same as you in college. I had some close friends who started getting really into drugs. I engaged once in a while but very casually. Eventually my lack of drug taking really got in the way of the friendships. Nights out or in were all about the drugs. The next day involved talking about the drug taking the night before and planning the next session. TBH is just got very boring.

I do believe that regular drug users prefer to hang around with those who are in the same category. Reinforcers their behaviour and they don't feel like they have to question themselves. Also people who are really into their drugs to put their addiction before anything else. I always felt I was lower down the pecking order than the friends who tool drugs.

Don't give into the peer pressure. Find some friends who don't use. By all means stay in contact with these friends but don't compromise yourself or your needs.

Smoking weed is one of the most antisocial things ever. Spent many a night in a pub with people stoned off their head who had nothing to offer the conversation and were dying to get home to have the next joint. Didn't care that it was my birthday/party whatever. Not really true friends.

Stay strong my friend!

rantyface

jimmyboy66 wrote: »

The only fellas still smoking it up regularily are unemployed and living at home with no prospects. A lot of lads dropped out of college a number of times which I directly relate to smoking too much weed. And oh yeah it is addictive in most people.

I smoke kind of regularly and got 1.1s all through, meanwhile worked and fully supported myself, got lots of scholarships, have lots of friends and got €100,000 funding for my postgrad research. My best friend exactly the same. I found it a nice way to wind down when I'm so hyper and working 14 hours a day. I'm only working 9-5 at the moment because I'm on holidays so I haven't smoked in a few weeks. I don't feel any different.


It's a little awkward to interact with people who aren't smoking so I wouldn't actually take it in the company of people who aren't. I only talk about music with other musicians, I only talk about chemistry with other chemists (it's all we ever talk about!). I do dfferent things with different people because I have different interests and things in common with them, and I'm not restraining myself around non drug users, and I'm certainly not bored by them!


Hi OP, don't do anything you're not comfortable with. You'll probably be tempted to sleep around, take drugs, drink more than two or three drinks regularly, stay out late before lectures and compromise your education by coming in tired, smoke cigarettes, skip lectures and eat fatty college food. You know what's bad for you, just say no.


If they're real friends they'll respect your choices. A friend of mine doesn't eat any sweets and now that everyone knows they don't even offer her any when there's a bag going around, some apologise if they forget about her aversion and offer sweets to her.

rantyface

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

It is so difficult, these people know me better than anyone, and I genuinely enjoy their company and I would really be losing out if my friendship with them were to end. I just feel very uncomfortable about entering this drug world.

If they take drugs ALL THE TIME and don't study, work, do extra curricular activities or have hobbies like music or sport, they are losers. I know they type. Stoned watch TV. Get pilled go clubbing. YAWN! You'll meet better people in time and drift naturally.

Deus Ex Machina

rantyface wrote: »

If they take drugs ALL THE TIME and don't study, work, do extra curricular activities or have hobbies like music or sport, they are losers. I know they type. Stoned watch TV. Get pilled go clubbing. YAWN! You'll meet better people in time and drift naturally.

It isn't as easy a diagnosis as that, they are not losers at all, they are all in my course or others which would be considered "prestigious", they are hardworking, intelligent and they all have various activities which they take part in regularly. If they were your stereotypical druggie I wouldn't have any difficulty removing them from my life, but they are far from that. I know I want them to remain my friends, but I also don't wish to be alienated, and that is why the drugs are causing me a problem.

rantyface

CluelessGirl wrote: »

Its first-class' honours'.........must be all the weed your smoking!;)

That "Its" should be "It's" as in short for "It is".
That "your" should be "you're" as in short for "you are".

I normally hate when people correct each others' spelling here, but when she doesn't understand apostrophes herself... Eugh!

Anyway OP, sounds like you have nice friends who sometimes smoke weed. I'm sure they'll understand if you don't want to. If it becomes a problem you'll naturally drift, but I think you are worrying about nothing. Most of my friends don't smoke, I don't mind at all and I'd never force it on anyone!

I know some wasters who smoke weed, and some who don't. I don't think it correlates. Some people are naturally thick and have poor work ethic and are more interested in television programmes and online social networking than science/humanities/law/whatever they're supposed to be studying. I noticed this early in secondary school, well before people started taking drugs.

CluelessGirl

rantyface wrote: »

I smoke kind of regularly and got 1.1s all through, meanwhile worked and fully supported myself, got lots of scholarships, have lots of friends and got €100,000 funding for my postgrad research.


There are many levels of intelligence......your's obviously being academic as you claim yourself.....but that is as far as it goes.....you are obviously uneducated about drugs and drug use.....and yes your punctuation is marvelous....but drugs are dangerous and there are so many ways to unwind after a days work that are perfectly legal and will not destroy a persons mind and health.

A certain psychiatric hospital that I work for does not have a ward full of teens with mental health issues as a result of taking drugs for no reason....some for as little as smoking weed.

OP ....you may mentally be strong enough to cope with their effects but you are a minority.

Fittle

Don't do it OP.

You're asking for advice BEFORE the fact, which means you're not being lead by the crowd just yet.

Don't do it. There are many reasons why you shouldn't. You know them all. Don't need anyone here to tell you them, I'm sure.

LegacyUser

i smoke weed most days, tried E coke, head shop sh1t etc..i was doing stuff maybe once a month. havent done anything besides weed and drink in a while. I have a well paid job in a big american company, i produce my own documentrys and host a weekly radio show i play football and go to the gym. i have a wife and child..everything in moderation, thats the key..do half a pill and smoke a one skinner..you wont keel over and you may have the best night of your life. at least you will know where they are coming from. i tried half an e when i was 16 and loved it. didnt touch anything again until i was 26 but at least i had a frame of reference. i hate studying and no drugs or lack of drugs will ever change that.

curehead

kjl wrote: »

Well that's more the person not the drug. I smoke weed everyday and I graduated top of my class with a first class honers.

Anyway, I didnt tell him to smoke everyday, I told him to give it a go. Don't be a loser like this guy above, use it, don't abuse it.

I left school at fifteen but at least i know how to spell honours ffs.

Scrappychimow

OP
Listen to this song and think about the effects of drugs on your life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YijHkaZTBB0

Or else listen to the song do some Methylenedioxymethamphetamine's
The choice is yours

kjl

Well OP, all the people who have corrected my grammar and spelling have shown me the light. Definitely don't do any drugs at all, just go out every night and drink yourself into a stupor, because clearly because it's legal then it's OK.

Here is the simple fact of life. If you are over 18, there isn't really a big deal if you do drugs as long as you do it in moderation like anything else. Buy yourself a testing kit if you want to be safe and avoid anything really hard like meth, crack or heroin.

rantyface

CluelessGirl wrote: »

There are many levels of intelligence......your's obviously being academic as you claim yourself.....but that is as far as it goes.....you are obviously uneducated about drugs and drug use.....and yes your punctuation is marvelous....but drugs are dangerous and there are so many ways to unwind after a days work that are perfectly legal and will not destroy a persons mind and health.

Maybe there are plenty of ways... Every health professional (including in your certain hospital most likely) I've been to has given me extremely addictive drugs for it though! I would say these legal drugs almost did destroy my mind and health. Yoga, useless. Exercise, useless. Councelling, ongoing but totally and utterly useless.

What journals should everyone be reading? I've read a good few articles in the lancet and british med journals and am j psych obviously, but none have as much information as, say, The Daily Mail when it comes to the terrible effects of cannabis. My textbook in college concluded that "cannabis is undoubtedly safer than either alcohol and nicotine" (Rang and Dale). I'd like to start with some reviews to educate myself then, what do you recommend? Who is the best in the field?

Anyway, this is not the point. I think OP is fine and sensible and won't do anything silly. The fact that he even posted here shows he likes to think things through carefully.

Morphie

Do what you want, and not what others do. If you want to do as they do, go for it.

When it comes to drugs, take in moderation. I mean, if you drink enough alcohol (legal) it'll mess you up royally.

Weed isn't as bad as people/media make it out to be. Just don't smoke an absurd amount. It's also less addictive then tobacco.

If you want to experiment, now is the time.

Daithio2

I was in a similar situation to you before OP, but I was one of the group taking the drugs. There was a big group of us who all grew up together, and about three quarters of us got into smoking weed daily and doing pills every weekend for quite a bit around the time of the leaving cert. I don't lie awake thinking about it every night, but it is definitely something that I regret. I think it does change your attitude towards life for the worse.

Anyway, as a group of friends we definitely grew apart from the non drug taking group, but only for a short while until we snapped out of it and realised how boring it is. More than likely the same will happen with your friends. I'd keep in touch with them, but try to make other friends at the same time. They'll still be there in a year or two when they get bored of it and realise it's a waste of time/ making them depressed and anxious the whole time.

You won't lose them as friends over your not taking drugs, all it means is that you have slightly different interests. This is totally normal, not all friends have to like doing the same things as each other all the time. Tell them openly that you're not into taking drugs yourself, while making it clear that you don't judge them for their decisions. And I know how you feel about having so much more in common with them/ being able to talk to them a lot easier than other people. This will come with time if you just put the effort in to meet and get to know new people. First year in college is one of those times when the getting to know people process is really quick, as everybody is in the same boat, so you should definitely make an effort.

It will all be cool, don't worry

LegacyUser

OP, I can completely relate to you. My circle of friends are pretty well split 50/50 in this respect. I've dabbled myself but I think I've grown out of it. Its sad to see people in their late 20s relying on drugs to have a good night out. So very sad. There is so much more to life than drugs and alcohol (Probably the most pernicious drug of them all) People sometimes just need to take a walk in a forest, smell the clean air, spend some time by themselves and learn to be content within oneself. This world we live in is addicted to conformity - well don't conform!

Bottle_of_Smoke

Just be wary weed smoking can be a gateway drug to cigarette smoking.

Its easy to become addicted and they cost a fortune.

tenchi-fan

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

My friends are all drug users. They haven't expressed these thoughts explicitly, but it seems to me that they think it is cool in a weird nihilistic sort of way.

Ooh just like skins season 1 2 and 3 , not 4 because it's pants. Sorry, I hate these college types!

I know people who used drugs while they were at college and plenty who didn't. No one will force you to take them to fit in and there's nothing more boring than listening to people talking about the drugs they did, or why they should be legalised.