Favours with a difference?

Whispered

Hey I would like some opinions please.

I was thinking about favours and was considering a "hangover survival kit" for each person. Just a plain bag tied with the same colour ribbon as the BM dresses. In the bag a small bottle of water, an alka seltzer, an individual face wipe (and some other things if I can think of them). This is working out at about the same price as buying favours.

The other thing I was thinking about is to buy one good gift, like a night in a hotel and dinner, and give each guest a number in an envelope as their favour. After the speaches, have the best man or band or someone choose a number from a bag and the winner gets the night away.

I do like the idea of everyone being in with a chance to get something good, but I'm wondering if it's a bit tacky to have what is really a raffle, at my wedding.

I'd appreciate opinions.

Thanks

tinkerbell

Personally, I think favours are a complete waste of money. Even the hangover survival kit, while you may think it's a good idea the reality is that people won't use it. They'll just leave them on the tables, and that'll be that. So you may as well throw your money into the bin for all they are worth.

On the other hand, if you insist on having some sort of favour, I think the raffle may be a good idea but then that could be wasted too. e.g. you choose a 3 star hotel say, and the guest who wins it will only stay in a 5 star and therefore won't even use the hotel stay so it gets wasted anyway.

Seriously - just don't bother, put the money to better use and spend the money on a nice dinner for you and your OH either on your honeymoon or after the wedding. Favours are just a complete waste of money and nobody will miss them if they ain't there.

How Strange

Favours are tacky and a complete waste of money. Your guests won't appreciate them and they either get left behind or trampled on the ground.

If you really want to do it then the night away is a good idea but personally I'd be more inclined to spend the money on a night away for me and my new hubbie

Whispered

Personally I like the idea of something to thank our guests for taking a day off work and coming to celebrate with us. However small that gesture may be.

Are favours not usually expected now?

seamus

Whispered wrote: »

The other thing I was thinking about is to buy one good gift, like a night in a hotel and dinner, and give each guest a number in an envelope as their favour. After the speaches, have the best man or band or someone choose a number from a bag and the winner gets the night away.

Not a bad idea, though I'd go with the idea of picking a chair at random and sellotaping something underneath it. Less chance of numbers going missing or otherwise appearing a bit weird.

A night away seems like a bit much though - why the expense?

What a brother of mine did as best man was come up with a short quiz about the bride and groom - funny/embarrassing questions about them. Before the dinner he explained that the table who go the most correct answers would win a prize. It got people talking and laughing and the answers had some good comedy material for the best man's speech. The table who won at the end got a bottle of champagne which the hotel poured out for them. It was nice and simple and no breaking the bank.

Favours aren't normally expected now, and as mentioned most of them will end up left on the tables or thrown in the bin. I wouldn't waste your time putting much effort into it.

Bookkeeper09

Dont think they are really expected!
Ive been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither had wedding favours.
Im getting married next year and not planning on having favours.

OP if your planning on having any kids at your wedding the alka seltzer might not be a good idea....with the amount of favours that would most likely be discarded by the adults and find their way into the wrong hands!

Bookkeeper09

seamus wrote: »

What a brother of mine did as best man was come up with a short quiz about the bride and groom - funny/embarrassing questions about them. Before the dinner he explained that the table who go the most correct answers would win a prize. It got people talking and laughing and the answers had some good comedy material for the best man's speech. The table who won at the end got a bottle of champagne which the hotel poured out for them. It was nice and simple and no breaking the bank.

This sounds like a good idea!!

bamboozle

favours are tacky, pointless and a waste of money in my eyes.

Whispered

Would people mind please not commenting if they are not going to answer the question I asked.

I'm 3 months from my wedding, I'm trying to please so many people already, I'm constantly second guessing myself and my choices as it is without you online telling me that I'm tacky or wasting money. I asked a specific question. I'm not interested in your opinion beyond that. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but I think your comment was rude too.

hairymarney

Alka Seltzer are a bad idea. They contain aspirin and someone might be allergic!

who what when

Dont do it. Their cheap and tackey!

bamboozle

Whispered wrote: »

Would people mind please not commenting if they are not going to answer the question I asked.

I'm 3 months from my wedding, I'm trying to please so many people already, I'm constantly second guessing myself and my choices as it is without you online telling me that I'm tacky or wasting money. I asked a specific question. I'm not interested in your opinion beyond that. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but I think your comment was rude too.

did you not in post 1 ask for people's opinions?

Whispered

I asked - hangover bag/night away. I'm not interested in if people think favours in general are a waste of money or tacky.

I have not decided if we are doing them yet, if we are, it will be one of those two. When you're planning a wedding you have so many people telling you what to do and what not to do. I would appreciate if people would just tell me if they think which of those two would go down better. Not what they think of favours in general. It just causes me to second guess myself even more. Which is a horrible way to feel about your wedding.

I'll decide with my OH then if we will bother with them at all.

hairymarney

Whispered wrote: »

Hey I would like some opinions please.

I was thinking about favours and was considering a "hangover survival kit" for each person. Just a plain bag tied with the same colour ribbon as the BM dresses. In the bag a small bottle of water, an alka seltzer, an individual face wipe (and some other things if I can think of them). This is working out at about the same price as buying favours.

The other thing I was thinking about is to buy one good gift, like a night in a hotel and dinner, and give each guest a number in an envelope as their favour. After the speaches, have the best man or band or someone choose a number from a bag and the winner gets the night away.

I do like the idea of everyone being in with a chance to get something good, but I'm wondering if it's a bit tacky to have what is really a raffle, at my wedding.

I'd appreciate opinions.

Thanks

Twice!!
Personally I wouldn't be bothered with favours. Just concentrate on you and your beautiful bride having a fantastic day. Good luck.

hairymarney

........or groom!

Whispered

I would like opinions on whether

A. hangover kit for everyone

or

B. Night away for one person

would be a better idea for a favour should we decide to go for favours. Do you have an opinion on that?

dillodaffs

Whispered wrote: »

Would people mind please not commenting if they are not going to answer the question I asked.

I'm 3 months from my wedding, I'm trying to please so many people already, I'm constantly second guessing myself and my choices as it is without you online telling me that I'm tacky or wasting money. I asked a specific question. I'm not interested in your opinion beyond that. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but I think your comment was rude too.

Who are you trying to please by having favours? this is your wedding! What you are hearing in the above responses is that most people think they are a waste of money, as do I. Alka Seltzer certainly not a good idea.

i have only been to one wedding where they had favours. the favour was two little mint chocolate sweets wrapped in a little bag. They got ate. End of.

artyeva

Whispered wrote: »

I would like opinions on whether

A. hangover kit for everyone

or

B. Night away for one person

would be a better idea for a favour should we decide to go for favours. Do you have an opinion on that?

favours [in my opinion] are a bit tacky and a waste of money, so in anwser to your question, neither.

and.... though you may have a clear idea for what you do/don't want in for your day, you can't really come on an internet forum asking for opinions and then squalk that people aren't giving you the opinions you want. it's obviously stressing you out as per your posts above and makes you seem a little ungrateful that people have taken the time to reply to you. just my opinion.

How Strange

DON'T give out alkaselzer or any other type of over the counter tablets. It's medication and you'd carry a legal responsibility of one of your guests (child or adult) had a reaction after taking it.

As I said before I'd your hell bent on it the night away. I thought Seamus' idea of a bottle of champers was good.

tinkerbell

Whispered wrote: »

I asked - hangover bag/night away. I'm not interested in if people think favours in general are a waste of money or tacky.

I have not decided if we are doing them yet, if we are, it will be one of those two. When you're planning a wedding you have so many people telling you what to do and what not to do. I would appreciate if people would just tell me if they think which of those two would go down better. Not what they think of favours in general. It just causes me to second guess myself even more. Which is a horrible way to feel about your wedding.

I'll decide with my OH then if we will bother with them at all.

You asked for our opinions and we gave you them.

Both ideas are not good and I gave reasons why. I didn't even think of the alka seltzer and why that would be a bad idea for medical reasons but since others have raised it - I totally agree with them, and handing out that would be extremely irresponsible.

Why are you hell bent on pleasing everyone? The day is about YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALF, nobody else. You two should be happy, you shouldn't have to run around trying to please everyone - **** that. It's your day, do what you want. But favours are a waste of money, and the night away is pointless too.

I like the champagne idea with the fun quiz, that'd be nice. Or even a bottle of champagne for each table. It'd prob cost you less than favours anyway or the same price.

hairymarney

People don't remember the favours or prizes they won at a wedding. They remember the radiance of the couple, the smile on their faces, the expressions of love. If you and your other half are relaxed and focused on making your wedding day the happiest day of your lives, you will give the guests something to remember, to tell their friends about and to be honoured to have witnessed. Forget the favours and spend the money on a relaxing massage for the two of you the day before, or morning of, your wedding. So option A or B, 1 or 2?- for me it's neither.

Whispered

dillodaffs wrote: »

Who are you trying to please by having favours? this is your wedding!

When you have x amount of people coming to a day planned by you, you want it to be right. That's not unreasonable is it?

dillodaffs wrote: »

i have only been to one wedding where they had favours. the favour was two little mint chocolate sweets wrapped in a little bag. They got ate. End of.

That's why I'd like to do something a bit different, it would cost me the same to have those 2 little chocolates as it would to have something else, like the bag or the weekend away.

artyeva wrote: »

favours [in my opinion] are a bit tacky and a waste of money, so in anwser to your question, neither.

as I said, my OH and I will decide if we are going to do it or not. I wanted opinions on which one, if we were to decide to have them or not.

artyeva wrote: »

you can't really come on an internet forum asking for opinions and then squalk that people aren't giving you the opinions you want.

I'm happy to hear peoples opinions on things, but when I say nicely that actually I think it's a nice idea and one I am considering it is absolutely rude for someone to say "it's cheap and tackey". And of course I will get annoyed. Fair enough to say you think it is if you're going to give an opinion on what was asked too but that didn't happen. Thanks btw for your lessons on internet etiquette.....

How Strange wrote: »

DON'T give out alkaselzer or any other type of over the counter tablets. It's medication and you'd carry a legal responsibility of one of your guests (child or adult) had a reaction after taking it.

tinkerbell wrote: »

I didn't even think of the alka seltzer and why that would be a bad idea for medical reasons but since others have raised it - I totally agree with them, and handing out that would be extremely irresponsible..

Sorry, I don't take them (I hate anything dissolveable), I actually asked about "natural hangover cures" elsewhere and someone mentioned alka sletzers. I'd be putting something which is not a medicine in it. I didn't realise it was a proper med.

I think the weekend away looks like the best bet. I don't have anybody invited to my wedding who wouldn't appreciate it. Whether it was a 3 star or not.

SarahMs

depends what kind of money ya want to spend,
at one wedding there was 10-penny bags and at the other was a raffle with little envelopes in each place and then after the speeches numbers were picked out and the prizes were a weekend break, a bottle of champers and a voucher for brown thomas, thought it was a great idea.

have been to ones where there is obviously alot of effort put into the favours like personalised chocolates only to see the papers on the floor

iguana

Whispered wrote: »

Personally I like the idea of something to thank our guests for taking a day off work and coming to celebrate with us. However small that gesture may be.

In that case I'm sorry but the hangover kit, which is certainly novel, might be a bad idea to some people. One, it sort of gives the impression that your wedding is just a big piss-up. Two, it's not any sort of present for people who don't drink to excess or don't drink at all. Three, a lot of people can't take aspirin for various reasons. Four, anyone who struggling with a drink problem, their partner/friends/family in attendance who are aware of how tough they are finding it or even anyone who has a problematic alcoholic in their life (which will be more people than you might imagine) will be having a hard enough time on the day anyway and really don't need to have an extra reminder of what they are going through.

Alliandre

As someone who rarely drinks and has never been drunk or had a hangover, I think I would be slightly insulted at a hangover cure as a favour. If I go to a wedding, it's because I want to see my friend/family member get married and enjoy their special day with them, not because I want to get plastered.

rainbowtrout

Whispered wrote: »

I'm happy to hear peoples opinions on things, but when I say nicely that actually I think it's a nice idea and one I am considering it is absolutely rude for someone to say "it's cheap and tackey". And of course I will get annoyed. Fair enough to say you think it is if you're going to give an opinion on what was asked too but that didn't happen. Thanks btw for your lessons on internet etiquette.....

But that's your opinion, it doesn't mean all the posters have to share the same opinion. Surely you can see from the last 20 or so posts that the majority of posters so far do think favours are cheap and tacky regardless of what the favour is. So they are not going to pick A or B, when they would rather C - none of the above.

I too think they are a waste of money and any wedding I've been to, they've just been left behind on the table. It's just more unnecessary crap to carry around.

I would be insulted to get a hangover cure at the wedding. You are implying that all your guests are there to get totally locked. Most people I know don't even take painkillers for hangovers, they just sleep in, have the greasy breakfast the next morning and tough it out for the rest of the day. Nor would I want to be carting around a bottle of water for the night, when the tables get moved back for the dancing to start up, all that stuff will just get cleared away and binned.

As for the weekend away, it's totally unnecessary, it's a wedding, you're feeding your guests, supplying them with drink, providing music and entertainment, it's not a charity auction. You don't have to throw in a holiday as well. It could even create tension if you haven't bought the mothers in law or someone like that flowers or something like that or the bridesmaids but you're giving a weekend away to a randomer.

Whispered

rainbowtrout wrote: »

But that's your opinion,.

And my question.

I'm sorry if I didn't suit the majority of people with the question I asked and am happy to take constructive opinion on board (ie I never considered that people might be insulted by getting a hangover kit) but when I made it clear that I am not looking on opinions on whether to do it or not, just opinions on which people think is more appropiate A or B. By telling me after that it is cheap and tacky, is insulting me and shoving their opinions of what they think someone should do on their wedding day onto other people. Like I said, a few times, it is for me and my OH to decide what we want for our guests. And it's rude to shove your opinions onto people.

I see the point about the hangover cure, so perhaps not a good idea. I still like the idea of a weekend away, but I'm not sure about the raffle. If anybody has been at a wedding where the favour was well recieved, I'd love to hear about it.

I would genuinely like to show our gratitude to people for taking time out of their work and lives to come and share our day. I am pretty shocked and upset at the reactions for thinking thats a nice thing to do.

newtoboards

We did wedding favours. I'm glad we did them as it reflected us and was not an effort to please all guests present. That way if some people hated them, which I'm sure they did, it wouldn't have matter too much. It's up to people themselves what they want to do but if you would like to do something in the line of favours then go ahead. I don't like the idea of a hangover kit though but that's my personal thing. We've gotten bets, lottery tickets, lotto tickets, shot glasses, sweets, and candles (oodles of candles) as wedding favours at others weddings. What about the idea of fortune cookies with fortunes you write yourselves?

Whispered

newtoboards wrote: »

We did wedding favours. I'm glad we did them as it reflected us and was not an effort to please all guests present. That way if some people hated them, which I'm sure they did, it wouldn't have matter too much. It's up to people themselves what they want to do but if you would like to do something in the line of favours then go ahead. I don't like the idea of a hangover kit though but that's my personal thing. We've gotten bets, lottery tickets, lotto tickets, shot glasses, sweets, and candles (oodles of candles) as wedding favours at others weddings. What about the idea of fortune cookies with fortunes you write yourselves?

I think that is a lovely idea!

Another thing I had considered was seeded paper with a little thank you on it and instructions on planting. In the hopes that people will plant them and smile a bit when the flowers bloom. That way, if people just leave them, they have still gotten the thank you from the note. I had decided against that for now though and was planning on using it for the thank you cards. But with the wedding being in october, it might not be the right time of year

What did you do for favours?

artyeva

Whispered wrote: »

I'm happy to hear peoples opinions on things, but when I say nicely that actually I think it's a nice idea and one I am considering it is absolutely rude for someone to say "it's cheap and tackey". And of course I will get annoyed. Fair enough to say you think it is if you're going to give an opinion on what was asked too but that didn't happen. Thanks btw for your lessons on internet etiquette.....

listen, you asked for people's opinions, some people gave you their opinions on favours in general, most people think they're cheap and tacky. that's their opinion. this for some reason got you rattled, so i came on here to post a direct answer to your question - hangover kits or hotel break? i said neither. so i did answer your question.

you're coming accross as a not very reasonable person here and i'm sure you're the opposite. you seem so eager to please your guests, and while that's commendable i think you've taken everyone here up wrong.

if someone's opinion differs from yours, to call that ''absolutely rude'' itself comes accross as rude and arrogant, which is a pity as again i'm sure you're not really like that. why are you getting annoyed at people's opinions just cause they differ from yours? you have enough to worry about organising your wedding.

if you have such an issue with opinion maybe you shouldn't have bothered posting on an internet forum, and your other half should be deciding this yourself.

and as for the lesson in etiquette?

you're welcome.

newtoboards

Whispered wrote: »

I think that is a lovely idea!

Another thing I had considered was seeded paper with a little thank you on it and instructions on planting. In the hopes that people will plant them and smile a bit when the flowers bloom. That way, if people just leave them, they have still gotten the thank you from the note. I had decided against that for now though and was planning on using it for the thank you cards. But with the wedding being in october, it might not be the right time of year

What did you do for favours?

The seeds won't be taken so you were right not to go for them and I wouldn't even use them as a thank you card (again because they won't be used so the money might go to waste), a good idea for your thank you card is to combine it with a Christmas card considering you're getting married in October and include a picture of yourself and your husband from the wedding day. I got married in November however we had no picture on time but did send out home made Christmas Cards as our thank yous. Our wedding favours were our favourite childhood sweets and we named tables after each sweet we had chosen and only that table got the sweets. We bought the sweets and repackaged all but the sherbet sweets into cellophane sweet bags ourselves the week before the wedding and sealed them with stickers. The hotel kindly set up all the tables for us then with the favours on all the tables. The dip dab table was the envy of many and weird swaps happened throughout the night with people negotiating for their favourites.

newtoboards

Here's the link we thought about using for the wedding favours as we did consider them ourselves:
http://www.uniqueweddingfavours.co.uk/index_ireland_google.htm?gclid=CJvNtO_0tqICFQIslAodzC7Z6w

Whispered

ArtyEva, I asked a question, someone took it up wrong and I clarified, saying that I think it is a nice idea and that I was interested in an opinion on which on we should choose. The next post was "it's cheap and tacky". That is rude. It actually wasn't directed at you but you seem to have decided to keep going on about it anyway. In fact, you hadn't even posted when I made it clear what I was actually asking. So did you post simply to have a go at me?

It is not that someones opinion differs from mine that bothers me, it's when I specifically ask that people stick to the topic of the thread and people insist on telling me again and again that I am somehow wrong for wanting to do something nice for our guests. I know that some people don't like the idea. I do.

My post count here points to the fact that I do actually get by ok without etiquette lessons from you.

I am not interested in discussing this further with you, please don't pull this thread further off topic. (topic being options mentioned in the OP or other ideas for favours)

iguana

Tbh, the only favours I've ever admired have been charity ones. Maybe if you looked at a charity you and your partner like and see if they do anything suitable as a wedding favour. A pink ribbon for breast cancer, a little heart pin from the heart foundation. You post a good bit in the pet forum so maybe something from the ISPCA wedding favours list, the shopping trolley keyrings actually look pretty useful as who hasn't scrabbled about for a euro when getting a trolley so your day would be remembered whenever people grocery shop. And you'd have made a difference to some animals.

Whispered

iguana wrote: »

Tbh, the only favours I've ever admired have been charity ones. Maybe if you looked at a charity you and your partner like and see if they do anything suitable as a wedding favour. A pink ribbon for breast cancer, a little heart pin from the heart foundation. You post a good bit in the pet forum so maybe something from the ISPCA wedding favours list, the shopping trolley keyrings actually look pretty useful as who hasn't scrabbled about for a euro when getting a trolley so your day would be remembered whenever people grocery shop. And you'd have made a difference to some animals.

I never thought of this!!! Thank you! This is what we will do. Definately.

Thank you very much. That is perfect.

tinkerbell

iguana wrote: »

Tbh, the only favours I've ever admired have been charity ones. Maybe if you looked at a charity you and your partner like and see if they do anything suitable as a wedding favour. A pink ribbon for breast cancer, a little heart pin from the heart foundation. You post a good bit in the pet forum so maybe something from the ISPCA wedding favours list, the shopping trolley keyrings actually look pretty useful as who hasn't scrabbled about for a euro when getting a trolley so your day would be remembered whenever people grocery shop. And you'd have made a difference to some animals.

This is actually a great idea! Like I said before, I absolutely hate the idea of wedding favours but something like something from a charity or even a donation to the irish guide dogs foundation or something would be really nice.

artyeva

Whispered wrote: »

ArtyEva, I asked a question, someone took it up wrong and I clarified, saying that I think it is a nice idea and that I was interested in an opinion on which on we should choose. The next post was "it's cheap and tacky". That is rude. It actually wasn't directed at you but you seem to have decided to keep going on about it anyway. In fact, you hadn't even posted when I made it clear what I was actually asking. So did you post simply to have a go at me?

It is not that someones opinion differs from mine that bothers me, it's when I specifically ask that people stick to the topic of the thread and people insist on telling me again and again that I am somehow wrong for wanting to do something nice for our guests. I know that some people don't like the idea. I do.

My post count here points to the fact that I do actually get by ok without etiquette lessons from you.

I am not interested in discussing this further with you, please don't pull this thread further off topic. (topic being options mentioned in the OP or other ideas for favours)

wow.

okaaaaaaaay......:rolleyes:

Whispered

Iguana, I've just spoken to my OH and I think we're going to go for a gift from concern. Like a piglet from one table, water filters from another, chickens from another etc. Then I'll just get them to email me the gift certs and I'll print them and put them onto the tables.

It means then that they wont have to carry anything around with them and some good comes from the favours. That has to make people feel better than a chocolate

Really good idea. Thanks again.

Bookkeeper09

Great idea!
Good Luck with the rest of the wedding preparations!

kalamata

I think your idea for the hangover kit is great. Something different and i m sure your guests will appreciate your gesture and enjoy it.

I personally think favours are not a waste of money. People nowadays are spending crazy money for their wedding and i cant understand what the fuss is about when someone wants to have favours.

Why nobody comments on tiaras being a waste of money and tacky or backdrop fairylights?

Unwilling

OOh Whispered - you seem to have started off quite the thread. I agree with you - people were very quick to post up somewhat insulting commets about favours being tacky and a waste of money. Whilst that may be their opinion, they could be a little more constructive.

I am four months away from our wedding and am struggling with the same issue myself. We're going with chocolate - but with a slight twist - if you want to PM me.

I love the idea of a hangover kit - although I can agree with some posters, it isn't something that will be appropriate for EVERYONE, children etc.

Seeds - FAB idea but I hear ya about October......

Loving the lotto tickets and I've seen little envelopes and all that you can personalise.

How about doing something "hallow'eeny" - a trick or treat theme??
Not sure if that tickles your fancy.

It's a tough one - but good luck i'd be delighted to hear what you decide on.

mdancingqueen

I think the kit is a fun idea if your not putting yourself under too much financal pressure. The raffle could go pear shapped if people loose their tickets. You could just make up a baket of items for the ladies and gents bathrooms, such as deodrant, plasters, rinne, chewing gum ect this wouldn't be as expensive.

niceoneted

WOW OP you have gone form wanting opinions only on options A or B, to wait for it going for option C.

Well done. I think you are stressing yourself out to please others or keep up with the Jones's or whoever, Just do what you want for you and OH for the day.