gambling is destroying my life

acidic

hi, gloomy first post i know but this seemed like a good a place as any to get this off my chest.

my story:

i've been a heavy gambler since i was 17 (i'm 23 now). i started off playing online poker, i was losing overall but it wasn't that much money and it seemed like just a bit of fun. then i started playing blackjack. one night i used my parent's credit card to deposit and gamble over £4000 on an online casino. i thought my life was over at that point however fortunately, although it came close, my parents didn't call the police. they tried to get me to seek psychiatric advice because my actions were so out of character but i refused.

fast forward 6 years and life is much the same. i'm still obsessed with online poker and have the occassional (although becoming more frequent of late) blackjack spree. i have wagered over £100k on one site alone lifetime. i'm a heavy cannabis smoker. i've had two serious psychotic episodes in the last two years which has led to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder for which i am on medication. after finally admitting i have a gambling problem, i was advised earlier this year by my psychiatric nurse to seek professional help. i went to gamblers anonymous for three months and really thought i was turning a corner. however, i stopped going to the meetings and slowly slipped back into my old ways. i recently lost my entire savings (£1500) playing blackjack. so i decided to go to on holiday to get away from things...

and this is where the recent disaster started. i ran out of money on day 3 so asked one of my best friends to help me out (he knows of my problems). He gave me his bank card details so i could book a room for the night. it all goes smoothly and i agree to pay him back as soon as possible.

then tonight i did something terrible. i deposited and gambled money (£250) using my friend's card until it declined. i am now in shock and completely lost as to what to do. i'm not suicidal but have come close to being in the past.

any advice as to where to go from here or if you can share a similar story that would be very much appreciated

Denimgirl

You know whats wrong and right at this stage,you must pay your friend all his money back!and no amount of sessions with any professional willnot stop you from gambling if you truely don;t want to yourself, these professionals are to guide you through you rough patches but the passion to change has to be up to you or your just gonna be going around in circles all your life! The power is truely in your hands to make a change!take control of your life!own up to your mate pay him back asap and start taking control and live life the right way!You will do it!

kjl

Not to far to rock bottom there mate, stealing from your parents and your friends. What's next? Are you going to become a male prostitute or something? and for what, to play a game this is designed to beat you. Get a grip on yourself. You are obviiouly not very good at poker either or you would not play blackjack, so quit the both of them.Get out there and find some form of job so you can pay your mate back. You should be ashamed of yourself. Take this as a life lesson and better yourself from it. Otherwise you will remain a loser for the rest of your like, both figuratively and literally.

little lady

Hi OP,

I really feel for you. My bf told me a few months ago that he was a gambling adicit. I started going to gam-anon meetings which is for the family and friends of gamblers and I found it very useful as it shows the destruction that the habit can have on both the family and the gambler themselves.

The only advise I can give you is to start going back to the GA meetings, but you have to stay at them forever. As you will know since you have been there the people at these meetings are very friendly are are extremly willing to help. They will be very understanding espically as they have been where you are now.

One other option is to go to the Rutland Center and see if they can help. www.rutlandcentre.ie

I'm not going to critise you for what you have done as you already know it yourself. Gambling is an illness but if you really want to you can move on and live your life free from it.

If you want to PM me I put you in touch with people who are currently in GA who can help you start back on the road to recovery, or you may want to get back in contact with your own sponsors. Remember no one at GA is going to judge for what you have done, they will just help you begin to recover again.

Best of luck

Stu

I am a Professional Gambler, have been for nearly 4 years and although i make a good living from Gambling and Sports Trading, i am addicted so i know all about the addiction side of Gambling. I can't function properly if i go a few days without Gambling or Trading and although i know a lot of people would love to be in my position, working from home, gambling is all consuming and even when i'm not gambling, it's always on my mind. I broke up with my ex because i cared more about gambling than i did about our relationship.

The only reason i haven't sought help is because i make a very good living from it but if i was ever asked to stop, i'd crack up. It would be worse than somebody in my family dying, i know thats an awful thing to say. But to be losing money as well OP and feeling suicidal is on a whole different level in terms of trying to cope with this addiction. If i was losing money i would seek help OP, if its not working for you and you are robbing money then you have to get help but i know how this addiction grabs you OP and i really hope you can get it sorted. One of these days i will need to pull my own head out of my backside and try to find the right balance between the amount of time i spend on my research and gambling/trading which is around 12 hours per day and other things such as friends and family but i'm not ready to go there yet.