Is it vain to think you look alright

LegacyUser

I am a male reader here. I have low confidence and self esteem. The one thing recently is that when I see a reflection of myself in windows/mirrors I think i am quiet good looking(I dont think females see me that way) and a good Catch. Is it Vain to think of yourself like that? Do you think you more goodlooking than you are in reality

tenchi-fan

Hey stud :P

That's exactly how you're supposed to feel.

If you're taking the time to look your best there's no harm in appreciating it.

fungun

Probably, I think Im fabulous!

Photographic evidence does not back me up

422nd

I also probably spend too much time trying to catch my reflection in a shop window as i walk down the street, making sure my hair is still how i geled it and what not. I dont think everyone finds me sexy though. So no, i wouldn't call it vanity. After all there are people out there that are a lot worse then just thinking they look alright and are a good catch. It's when you feel everyone thinks the same that you should call it vanity. Course at that point you're too vain to admit your vain, because that would mean you're imperfect. :rolleyes:

krudler

Irish people have had it bred into them for years that you shouldnt have a high opinion of yourself, nobody like a cocky twat but its ok to think you look alright, I think I look damn good when me and my mates have a suitin up night out, and the female attention agrees with me

degrassinoel

fungun wrote: »

Probably, I think Im fabulous!

Photographic evidence does not back me up

QFT, and exactly the same here hehe, feeling good about yourself may not show in a reflection but you can see it in yourself and others can too

Hazys

Vainone wrote: »

I am a male reader here. I have low confidence and self esteem. The one thing recently is that when I see a reflection of myself in windows/mirrors I think i am quiet good looking(I dont think females see me that way) and a good Catch. Is it Vain to think of yourself like that? Do you think you more goodlooking than you are in reality

I rather be vain than self hating.

If you feel you have earned something dont be afraid to be proud of yourself, as long as you are not annoying other people or obsesssive. Some people will call you vain out of jealously but as the great profit Beyonce said "If you got it, flaunt it".

BumbleB

Vainone wrote: »

I am a male reader here. I have low confidence and self esteem. The one thing recently is that when I see a reflection of myself in windows/mirrors I think i am quiet good looking(I dont think females see me that way) and a good Catch. Is it Vain to think of yourself like that? Do you think you more goodlooking than you are in reality

Love yourself .:)

Carsinian Thau

Sounds more healthy than vain tbh.

Drumpot

Its certainly not vain to think that you look alright . .

I dont think a vain person would have to ask this question . .

Its only vain (in my opinion) when you shove the concept that you are attractive in other peoples faces.

fasty

Of course there's nothing wrong with it! Only begruders would call you vain for thinking you look alright.

Eve_Dublin

krudler wrote: »

Irish people have had it bred into them for years that you shouldnt have a high opinion of yourself, nobody like a cocky twat but its ok to think you look alright, I think I look damn good when me and my mates have a suitin up night out, and the female attention agrees with me

It´s true and it´s awful. Hope it´s gets bred out of us over time.

Vanity and being happy with your looks are not the same thing.

krudler

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It´s true and it´s awful. Hope it´s gets bred out of us over time.

Vanity and being happy with your looks are not the same thing.

Yeah if someone compliments you you're automatically expected to go "ohhh,no I look horrible!" or something, if you accept the compliment for what it is then you're clearly a self loving knob according to Irish society standards. This really is a silly country when it comes to this, why are why expected to hate ourselves? is it a catholic thing?

Hazys

krudler wrote: »

Yeah if someone compliments you you're automatically expected to go "ohhh,no I look horrible!" or something, if you accept the compliment for what it is then you're clearly a self loving knob according to Irish society standards. This really is a silly country when it comes to this, why are why expected to hate ourselves? is it a catholic thing?

If somebody gives you a compliment, the best way to respond is to simply say "Thank you".


If you are secure within yourself, you have no need to show off or put yourself down. (BTW im both a times but i still fake it by saying thank you!)

ForzaKid

If you don't love yourself then you can't love others.Fact!;)

BumbleB

krudler wrote: »

Yeah if someone compliments you you're automatically expected to go "ohhh,no I look horrible!"

I don't.:cool:

LegacyUser

ForzaKid wrote: »

If you don't love yourself then you can't love others.Fact!;)

Not true,i am great at loving others never good at loving myself though.But i do a good imitation of not been seen what i really feel about myself.


No you arent vain its nice to be able look in a mirror and not be horrified or unhappy with what looks back at you,if you can do that then you are happy inside also and with who you are.Good for you OP

Morphie

Drumpot wrote: »

Its certainly not vain to think that you look alright . .

I dont think a vain person would have to ask this question . .

Its only vain (in my opinion) when you shove the concept that you are attractive in other peoples faces.

I don't think I'm vain, and I don't have to ask myself this question. The vain are much more than not having to even question themselves.

I know I'm a good looking guy, I don't have to question that fact.

One thing I don't do is tell people I think so (okay, this post is to make a small point, forgive me), never have, have no desire to either.

I grew up with one particular brother who was vain, boasted of his appearance, had a rather big headed approach to it. In my opinion, I look better than he does.

One thing though, I've never really been approached by women, those I do bother to talk to take an interest beyond what I want. I never felt the need to have the approval of other people when it comes to how handsome I am.

---

OP, the person I'm quoting got it correct. You can't be vain if you have to ask this question. True is, most people are average, very few are above or below that. So in terms of attracting people to you physically, it won't be all that hard. Most people are insecure about their looks, so it evens itself out.

Just be confident in yourself. Even if you were vain, what of it? It's not a sin, it's just not a very desirable characteristic for people to be around.

tiredoflife wrote: »

Not true,i am great at loving others never good at loving myself though.But i do a good imitation of not been seen what i really feel about myself.


No you arent vain its nice to be able look in a mirror and not be horrified or unhappy with what looks back at you,if you can do that then you are happy inside also and with who you are.Good for you OP

The way this works is more like: If you can't love yourself, don't expect others to love you either. You should love yourself before you love others. More so when you get into a relationship, if you can't love and respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to?

Handsome Bob

You sound like you have a perfectly healthy attitude OP, last thing anyone needs is being down on yourself.

Firetrap

There's nothing wrong with it per se. It's a mixture of good genetics and you looking after yourself. The only thing that can go wrong is if people who think they're good looking let it become a dominant part of their personality. Looks fade after all.

LegacyUser

Im the same as you OP, Im fairly positive Im good looking, and when I look at myself in the mirror I see a good looking person, but this way of thinking is completely separate from my confidence and personality.
Im very insecure, have absolutely no confidence with women for some reason and have realized that looks mean absolutely nothing without a decent personality.