Got in a fight in Dunnes yesterday

Jake LeMotta · 21-06-2010 3:05pm #1

Was just in Dunnes to buy some bread and milk for my sarnies and brews tomorrow and this old bloke of about 85 comes chundling over with his trolley and runs into the back of me by the bread section. I turned round and just said something like "oops mate, be careful now" dead nicely and he just chuntered something under his breath and carried on without apologizing. I felt rage hit my chest as all I wanted was an apology or for him to simply not be an ass. My face went dead red and I felt my palms go all tingly but I held my temper but shouted "excuse me mate, are you going to say sorry?" but then he went "gooooo onnnnn f*ck off with ya" in a vulgar manner and waved his arms at me.

My head almost exploded but I didn't twat him. I grabbed him and threw the old c*nt into a cardboard stand full of warburtons crumpets. I then started screaming at him sayin "what ya say you old bastard? What ya f*ckin say?". The security obviously thought I was to blame and ran over to tackle me and not the old man (who was in the wrong), but I didn't have time to explain. I grabbed my shopping basket, swung it hard and sent it crashing into the security guard's face. He literally flew back and landed in the shelves full of bread.

I didn't hang about, I turned, booted the old man in the ribs as he lay amidst the crumpets and then legged it out the store and home. But does anyone know if they have security cameras in Dunnes and will they try and find me and prosecute? Even though I wasn't to blame, all the CCTV will show is me acting violent. It wont be able to prove that the old man was rude to me and deserved it.

AnonoBoy · 21-06-2010 3:06pm

No you didn't.

alwaysadub · 21-06-2010 3:06pm

:rolleyes:

Well,least this wasn't about women or sex i suppose..

easyeason3 · 21-06-2010 3:07pm

I really hope they have security cameras & that you get gang banged in an over crowded prison after being done for GBH.

You'll be the one giving dome then.

Kiera · 21-06-2010 3:08pm

No wonder you cant pick up a girl if you tell lies like that!

/you have let me down, Jakey

Bob the Seducer · 21-06-2010 3:08pm

Here we go again, the creative writing forum is thataway
--->

RobBaxter · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

That's terrible - what a cumt of an old man.

Good for you lad

I love hearing about grandads getting their come-up-ins. Hopefully he's paralised. I would have done the same thing except I probably would have kicked the old man in the head instead of the chest

Bobby

PeterIanStaker · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Have a nice time showering with the big dudes in jail -or wait no, you'll probably kick the crap out of them too, and rule the prison by fear?

karlog · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Is this a joke

Thoie · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Pity there wasn't a woman there with you - you could have blamed it all on her and made her cry. Better luck next time.

gaz wac · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Kick in the ribs ?

so your not a face kicker then ?

ascanbe · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Raging bull****

ejmaztec · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

alwaysadub wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Well,least this wasn't about women or sex i suppose..

That's in chapter two entitled "How I got taken from behind in Tesco by a mad-man with a cucumber."

_feedback_ · 21-06-2010 3:09pm

Have you attended the Tony Fenton school of slang?

PS. There's a sleeping and dreaming forum for posts like that.

Gummy Panda · 21-06-2010 3:11pm

Jake,

lies make baby jesus cry!

Kess73 · 21-06-2010 3:12pm

I remember those cheers,
They still ring in my ears,
And for years they remain in my thoughts.
'Cause one night I took off my robe,
And what'd I do? I forgot to wear shorts.
I recall every fall, every hook, every jab,
The worst way a guy can get rid of his flab,
As you know, my life wasn't drab.
Though I'd rather hear you cheer
When I delve into Shakespeare …
'A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!'
I haven't had a winner in six months.
And though I'm no Olivier,
If he fought Sugar Ray, he would say
That the thing ain't the ring, it's the play.
So give me a stage
Where this bull here can rage,
And though I can fight,
I'd much rather recite.
That's entertainment.

Par72 · 21-06-2010 3:13pm

Maybe you could make up your own fantastical stories instead of copying them off other forums?
http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

Kiera · 21-06-2010 3:13pm

Poor aul, Jakey. Its like you enjoy getting the piss taken out of you.

Par72 wrote: »

Maybe you could make up your own fantastical stories instead of copying them off other forums?
http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

Awesome!

RobBaxter · 21-06-2010 3:13pm

Why are all you people saying that he should be in jail?

You read the story - the old man was WRONG and deserved to be kicked while he lay in the crumpets

Sometimes Ii think some of you guys just take the piss

Tar.Aldarion · 21-06-2010 3:13pm

kudos on troll

/tip hat

Wibbs · 21-06-2010 3:14pm

Par72 wrote: »

Maybe you could make up your own fantastical stories instead of copying them off other forums?
http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

Burn

AnonoBoy · 21-06-2010 3:14pm

This hasn't gone according to plan at all.

Ruu_Old · 21-06-2010 3:14pm

as enniscorty would say....hehehehehehohohohohohoho mate

Jake LeMotta · 21-06-2010 3:15pm

Par72 wrote: »

Maybe you could make up your own fantastical stories instead of copying them off other forums?
http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

Mutha f**ker

I hate google!!

For future reference, if the story is not about chicks/boning chicks/making them cry/focking with them or in some way chick related, it's not really mine.

Kiera · 21-06-2010 3:15pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

This hasn't gone according to plan at all.

How embarrassed do you think he's feeling right now?

Kess73 · 21-06-2010 3:15pm

Tell me Jake, are those small hands of yours the reason for your rage?

Those little girl hands.

easyeason3 · 21-06-2010 3:16pm

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Mutha f**ker

I hate google!!

For future reference, if the story is not about chicks/boning chicks/making them cry/focking with them or in some way chick related, it's not really mine.[/QUOTE]

Closer to the truth.

Adamcp898 · 21-06-2010 3:16pm

Ruu wrote: »

as enniscorty would say....hehehehehehohohohohohoho mate

EDIT:

Damn ninja edit :mad:

eightyfish · 21-06-2010 3:16pm

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Was just in Dunnes
I grabbed him and threw the old c*nt into a cardboard stand full of warburtons crumpets.

Copy and paste fail. You can't get these in Ireland, it's an English bread brand.

Gaunty · 21-06-2010 3:16pm

Par72 wrote: »

Maybe you could make up your own fantastical stories instead of copying them off other forums?
http://community.videogamer.com/forums/general_discussion/had_a_bit_of_a_fight_in_netto_today/

Busted.

Bob the Seducer · 21-06-2010 3:16pm

You'll never get into the papers this way Jake, you need to be more topical.

How about claiming you were caught cheating on your Leaving Cert so you nutted the supervisor and knocked her out? I think that covers all your regular bases.

Trashbat · 21-06-2010 3:17pm

Wait a minutes..... Warburtons Crumpets aren't available in Dunnes! :eek:

I feel used. I was waiting for a punchline and it never came......

_feedback_ · 21-06-2010 3:17pm

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Mutha f**ker

I hate google!!

For future reference, if the story is not about chicks/boning chicks/making them cry/focking with them or in some way chick related, it's not really mine.

Maybe try to rob a remotely funny one too? Ta.

Pherekydes · 21-06-2010 3:17pm

With thanks to kimia for this standard answer to all your threads:

Seriously OP stop with these stupid threads, you sound like a total loser. Have you nothing of worth to add or even anything funny to post? All you talk about is yourself... [and how you want to f*ck bítches.] Grow up.

Jake LeMotta · 21-06-2010 3:18pm

eightyfish wrote: »

Copy and paste fail. You can't get these in Ireland, it's an English bread brand.

I'd like to tell you to do something right now bro...

But I've already got an infraction for that - but you know what it is, I hope.

hal9000 · 21-06-2010 3:18pm

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Was just in Dunnes to buy some bread and milk for my sarnies and brews tomorrow and this old bloke of about 85 comes chundling over with his trolley and runs into the back of me by the bread section. I turned round and just said something like "oops mate, be careful now" dead nicely and he just chuntered something under his breath and carried on without apologizing. I felt rage hit my chest as all I wanted was an apology or for him to simply not be an ass. My face went dead red and I felt my palms go all tingly but I held my temper but shouted "excuse me mate, are you going to say sorry?" but then he went "gooooo onnnnn f*ck off with ya" in a vulgar manner and waved his arms at me.

My head almost exploded but I didn't twat him. I grabbed him and threw the old c*nt into a cardboard stand full of warburtons crumpets. I then started screaming at him sayin "what ya say you old bastard? What ya f*ckin say?". The security obviously thought I was to blame and ran over to tackle me and not the old man (who was in the wrong), but I didn't have time to explain. I grabbed my shopping basket, swung it hard and sent it crashing into the security guard's face. He literally flew back and landed in the shelves full of bread.

I didn't hang about, I turned, booted the old man in the ribs as he lay amidst the crumpets and then legged it out the store and home. But does anyone know if they have security cameras in Dunnes and will they try and find me and prosecute? Even though I wasn't to blame, all the CCTV will show is me acting violent. It wont be able to prove that the old man was rude to me and deserved it.

Did the music for eastenders/cornation street/Fair City play in anyones head after reading that?

Kiith · 21-06-2010 3:19pm

I was just attacked in Dunnes by some crazy person while buying my dear old wife some shopping. I accidentally knocked my trolley into some fellow (i'm an old man after all), and apologised. I was kind of out of breath, so it may have been a tad quiet though. The man then went crazy, shouting at me, and i said 'go on, off with you laddie'.

He then violently assaulted me, and hit the nice, helpful security guard over the head with a bag of shopping. The security man fell backwards, and seriously hurt himself. The man then kicked me as i lay bleeding on the ground, and ran off.

I'm now lying in hospital in critical condition, hoping that Dunnes has a CCTV camera and the police can find and arrest this violent criminal.

TLDR version, your a scumbag (assuming its anywhere even remotly true).