Am I jealous or is there something else?

partner

Thanks for the advice everyone

LegacyUser

hey OP

I'd really look at ur actions here and question how much u really do want her back.

and I don't think the attempt has changed ur mind.

it's jealousy - u don't want someone else 'looking after my woman' - that is possessive, and not the sign of a healthy relationship, nor true desire to make things work, more so, she's my toy, and I don't want anyone else playing with her. I don't want to look like I've failed her when she needs me, and someone else can so easily replace me as the shoulder to cry on.

Don't go running back to her asking her to try again, ur messing wiht both ur heads. U wanted a split - always trust ur original reaction. Nothing's changed. You haven't mentioned anywhere in ur post about how u love her, or how you feel about her changing.

I know this seems harsh - but I've been on the receiving end, and it's natural - of course u don't like it that someone else is replacing you, or that someone else can help her, or that she's looking to someone else now - but face it. you split up with her, you DON'T get to control her, you never should and your attitude towards her just screams control/possession/jealousy.

Leave her alone to get over her, she will and she'll be stronger for it.

partner

Hi, Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.
One thing I should make clear is that we did not split up because we do not love each other - we do, so much! and there has never been any real jealousy issues in the past, i would tell her that i might not like an ex ringing her out of the blue - i honestly think that it is normal for me to think that.
A lot of the reasons for the breakup were things on her side that made me say this is too much we need to stop. I cannot go into them on a forum for fear of revealing identities etc. There were also things on my side that she was not happy with that I again can not go into. I assure you I love her and it is real love.

partner

Thanks again!!
I'm probably not putting my case forward as best as I could but I am taking all your points seriously and appreciate them.
When I said about male friends, I really meant single male friends, or guys on the hunt. I know what they can be like you know but either way - thanks.

Glenshane Pass

I'd be fairly jealous too, is there a hidden agenda on the part of this male?

partner

Well, no, i honestly dont believe there is.
Maybe I am just out of touch, I have beliefs as to what is appropriate in a relationship and what is respectful. I have spent the morning on the web trying to look into this but apparantly there is no cure! I dont know how to stop feeling jealous about what is happening.

Neyite

this is where you see the 'if you love someone let them go' saying get put into practice.

it does'nt sound like you both were good together, despite your feelings for each other. some relationships are like that. i know you care about each other deeply, but there are too many reasons why it did not work.

you are an ex. whoever helps her through a difficult time is nothing to do with you, just as, if it turns into something more, between them, also nothing to do with you.

you are wrong to feel jealous - you have no claim on her now, so you need to work on this yourself. you admit that she took the breakup badly- so be nice and leave her alone to heal. if you care about her, give her that.

good luck