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Break-up woes manifesting themselves physically

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  • 21-06-2010 10:39am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Mods, I decided I would post this as it is more a mental/emotional issue than a physical problem. I have also decided to seek professional medical advice. However if you feel this isn't a suitable thread no problem.

    Relatively recently I had a break-up from a long-term relationship. After a bit of grieving I decided to get over things by having as much sex as possible. This was fine until the last time I tried to have sex. I was having fun, had a full erection, then I suddenly got nervous and completely lost the erection. This sort of happened as well about 2 weeks ago with another girl but I managed to regain composure and was able to continue.

    This has never, ever happened me before this. I've never had problems with sex, in fact I'm normally very sexually confident. It's not physical as I had sex several times less than 48 hours before this with another girl.

    Obviously I believe the nervousness was the reason. As soon as I started to get nervousness I lost it very quickly. Why was I nervous though? I think it was because I was pretty attracted to this girl, not just physically but emotionally too. Maybe I was nervous as this could be the real line in the sand between me and the ex. I've obviously had sex before with women that I was deeply emotionally attracted but that has always increased my desire rather than destroy it. Maybe sub-consciously I'm just not ready to move on.

    Anyway, I'm going to make an appointment with a GP to talk things through and see what comes of that. But I would like if people could give me their opinions of this. Should I just pull back from the opposie sex for a while? Should I continue on? Should I figure out what's still bothering me about the break-up? Any other ideas?

    Thanks :-)


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    #2
    Glenshane Pass
    Closed Accounts Posts: 162 ✭✭Glenshane Pass


    Something in the back of your mind probably, just a flashback, who knows. You're probably just not fully over it. I wouldn't let it bother me but do talk to someone to get to the root of it.


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    how long has it been since you split?

    it sounds like you've already answered your question and have a fair idea what to do about it. after I split with my ex, I started to hook up with guys, and again, never felt properly aroused cos I wasn't attracted to them. I could go through the motions, sometimes get satisfaction, but it wasn't till I met a guy that I felt a bit of spark wiht as well as the physical and it scared the bejaysus out of me cos i felt the flutters again.

    sounds like u've reached that line and are not sure whether to cross it and really let go of your ex, or if ur ready to take that next step again....slow things down, maybe go back to just kissing this girl and get to know her a bit and then wait till ur ready to sleep with her....it might be that u don't want to just shag her for release - that maybe u like her a bit more than that, or maybe it's just urself - maybe ur body is tellin ya to take a break for urself, to let urself connect with someone before havin sex.

    still, see the doc just in case...best of luck, i guess listen to ur body


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