Can't get her out of my mind.

LegacyUser

I broke up with my girlfriend of over a year yesterday. She loved me deeply and wanted a future together.

I could not handle her picking but she always had time for me and a smile for me. Which I will deeply miss.

She was inconsiderate of my feelings a few times but she always said sorry and tried to make up for it.

I miss her very much. I am trying to remember why I broke up with her. I keep saying to myself that she was mean to me but if I am honest she never really was. She was just being her.

I felt trapped in the relationship at times. Like I was there to fill a void. I wanna cuddle her now....Is it normal to feel like this?

She was and is the best thing to happen to me I don't know if we were right for each other but I miss her! Help

Trashbat

Idiot.. wrote: »

I miss her very much. I am trying to remember why I broke up with her. I keep saying to myself that she was mean to me but if I am honest she never really was. She was just being her.

If her just being her made you feel bad about yourself then you probably made the right decision.

OP, do you mind me asking how old you are? Or have you been in many relationships, because you seem surprised that you are sad about ending a relationship. This is only natural for the "dumper" as well as the "dumpee", if you excuse my crude phrasing.

Regret is only natural, we all go through that. Especially so soon after a breakup.

I see two possible scenarios here:

1) The way she makes you feel was bad enough for you to have such serious questions about the relationship that you ended it, thus the relationship was not working and your decision is correct

2) You have overreacted to the personality clash and used the breakup as a bargaining tool. If this is the case, you will need to grow emotionally before committing to a relationship, so your decision to break up is also correct, because it would be unfair to her to continue something your not ready for. Relationships where couples use breakups as a threat or tactic do not last as the maturity level is clearly not there.


I reckon that if somebody is driven to break up with somebody, then it makes future relationship with that person unsustainable, and people dont break up for no reason. The only advice i can give is to move on, but it takes time and being sad is only natural.

LegacyUser

It was more a feeling I had. Like I just wanted out. I have my doubts that we would last as a couple for any period of time. She loves me so much and I really want to return that. Make things happy again. There was just a voice in my head that kept saying "this isn't right for you".

I miss her ;-(

Glenshane Pass

idiot.. wrote: »

It was more a feeling I had. Like I just wanted out. I have my doubts that we would last as a couple for any period of time. She loves me so much and I really want to return that. Make things happy again. There was just a voice in my head that kept saying "this isn't right for you".

I miss her ;-(

Sounds like you did the right thing horse.

The short term remedy is to contact her and fall back into the same relationship. Beneficial in the short term but wasting your time otherwise.

The long term remedy is what you have done, broke up, put yourself back out there to meet someone for a healthy relationship.

You did the right thing, it will be difficult for a while - but its feck all considering you probably have a lot more years of your life to live.

oldwan

She was inconsiderate of my feelings a few times but she always said sorry and tried to make up for it.

everyone says things sometimes without thinking, if she really didnt mean them and was just thoughtless the important thing is she tried to make things better.

Like I was there to fill a void.

do you not really believe she loves you?

She was and is the best thing to happen to me I don't know if we were right for each other but I miss her! Help

if she is the best thing to happen to you, you should feel it inside, yes you might still have doubts/worry things might not work out, but are you sure you are breaking up for the right reason, ie. you dont see a future together or are you breaking up because your scared that things wont work??

mindtornin2

Hi OP,

every thread on here I see reminds me of my own relationship and I was in a similar situation. Myself and the ex got on very well a lot of the time and I did love her but something was always telling me that it wasn't as perfect as it should have been. I know every relationship has its ups and downs and nothing is perfect but if a couple are meant to be then both of them will know it and be completely sure.

That voice in your head saying this isn't right might just be a typical guy's head being afraid of commitment, I probably was too but if I want to spend the rest of my life with somebody then I want that voice in my head to be saying 'this girl rocks and you click perfectly; keep her!' If that voice is hesitant then that means you are too.

I was with her 3 years before we broke up. It was mutual at first but then she changed her mind and wanted me back but I stayed strong although it was very hard.

I understand what you say about missing her and wanting to cuddle her because when you get used to being with and around somebody is the physical contact that your body misses, and no matter what arguments you have during the day, a good cuddle can make everything seem perfect, but often it is only papering over the cracks.

What you need to do is remember the cuddles yes, but also remember why you broke up and remember the arguments and hard times. It is perfectly normal to feel like this, guilty and regretful but it will pass. The breaker-upper always has way more guilt but there's always a reason why people break up, and those reasons don't just go away.

stay strong and hope you feel better soon, you made the right decision.

all the best