Few questions about dating sites.

LegacyUser

So, anyway I decided to join Plenty of Fish. I just wanted to ask if anyone here had any advice about dating sites. I've had no luck (not bad, none at all) with women in the past and I figured that this might be a bit of a laugh. I essentially have no idea what I'm doing here. I've seen a few profiles I like and was thinking of sending a few messages.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!!

LighterGuy

Oh.. you're going to get quite a few people get back to on this one. basically to sum it up... Dating sites are horrible.

I could write a big long reply here :P But its probably just easier to sum it up with these words: (and remember i've had friends of both sexes use the site)


- people have baggage. lots of it.
- girls can get up to dozens of mails a week from guys. Meaning its harder for you to get anywhere with one. Its like being in a pub with 50 single people. 41 guys. The other 9 are women. What do you think will happen? pretty much if you're a guy on a dating site. Expect alot of read and un-replied messages.
- But part from the male/female ratio. some female users can be stuck up with the attention they get.
- if you're a girl on dating sites, the majority of guys just want sex.
- "dating sites" are practally sex sites. I know of a friend who has slept with quite alot of women. All one night stands. All from pof.com.
- Dont get involved with someone whos been on a site for a long time. You're probably better of not getting seriously involved with anyone from the site.
- some users on POF.com state "do not message me for sex! I will block you" .. while if you then go and stick their username into google you'll see them with naked photos stating how they want sex on an adult site.
- if some people enter relationships. One party is often reluctant to stop using the site. Claiming "I have friends on there!" .. of course all friends being members of the opposite sex. While other forms of communication (msn..email etc) arent "enough".



I'm sorry if I am jading you on dating sites. The only pro is that yes, you could meet someone you would of never met. Give it a shot if you like. But expect to see alot of the above happen to you.

Auldloon

On the other hand your experience may be nothing like the above.
I have used them a few times and have found them great.
I met a few girls for casual hookups which suited both parties and I met my current partner of 31/2 years also.
She tells me that when she joined she put up a pic and was inundated with messages something like 100 in her first day! She removed her profile and re registered with no pic. Still got a lot of interest but mine stood out. We share a love for a certain artist which I noticed and messaged her using some of his lyrics:)
We messaged for a few days, spoke on the phone then met for a date. It was her first time meeting anyone from the dating site for a date and her last:)
Her brother also met his current partner on a dating site and they have been happily together for a few years now.

My advice would be
Use the best pics that you have.
Keep your shirt on!
Be careful with spelling and grammar.
Be original.
Don't be sleazy!!!
Spend time reading profiles without pics, this Is how I found a gem.
If you get in contact push for a meeting asap, it saves wasting time and effort on someone their may ultimately be no attraction with.
Watch out for scams, anyone can put up a pic of a pretty girl.
Good luck and have fun:)

Edit to add it wasn't pof (which is free I think?) that I used it was a site where you have to pay for a membership. Probably makes a huge difference.

LegacyUser

i've used pof for about a month. i've met different people. went on a date with three guys. and am going out with the last one. his message drew my attention because he made reference to my profile while a lot of others were just saying 'hi, hun, how's ur day?' and also we have a lot in common. um, he is not my usual type, but his personality is good (so far i observe), so we just said 'let's try' and we deleted our profiles on the net together.

i think if you treat it as just a plateform and still let yourself open, your attitute would be more balanced. i met a guy in a 'real life' ocassion while i was using the site and went on well with a guy on net. i met that guy and then i think i would like to go out more with the guy on net and see how things go.

dont be addicted to it nor stick with the computer. you ought to have your life. yes, dont message for too long time 'cos it would just build up a false image in each other. i usually met the people a week or two week after messaging every night. but no rush, i didnt reply any mails who left me his number after just a night talk on net!

anyway, it's free, you have nothing to lose. except a few euros for the first coffee if you are a gentleman.

good luck.

LegacyUser

Completely and utterly agree with Lighter guy, great post.
Ive tried pof. Had 4 dates and two relationships from it. Both of the 'relationships' were a farce looking back. both guys, after 3/4 months were still on the site. That was over a year ago, and i just looked tonight, after reading your post, and they're both still there.
Dating sites, well that one in particular, are awful.
I havent ventured out into 'real life' just yet having been put off men from my online experience, but I will very soon....
Don't do it OP, would be my advice, sorry!