Think I know what I have to do but am in total bits :-(

northern lights

When we moved into our new house 2 years ago we were used to seeing the farm cat next door in my fil's yard. She'd call occasionally to say hello but my husband has never been a particular fan of cats and as she seemed quite happy and healthy I never really encouraged her. I'd give her a petting but never left out food for her as she seemed very healthy and well-fed.

Cut to december this year and I noticed her coat loooking really matted as if she'd lain in oil. I started feeding her daily but no improvement and then I noticed green drool coming from her mouth. At this point I bundled her into a box and off to the vets. The reason her coat was in such as mess was that her teeth were very infected and she'd been unable to groom herself. She was operated on and had 6 teeth removed and was commenced on antibiotics. I took her home and set her up in the utility room with a pillow, cat blanket and litter tray and set about over the next few weeks slowly teasing out all the matts in her coat and giving her lots of tlc.

For 3-4 months she seemed to come on in leaps and bounds and was really happy living with us (even my husband has grown fond of her, although he'd be reluctant to admit it!). 3 wks ago though she started to loose weight and wasn't eating the same so took her back to the vets. She had another infection in her mouth and was de-hydrated so they kepy her for 3 days on a drip and removed another 2 teeth. This time though she nearly didn't make it as she took a long time to come round from the anaesthetic but again once home she bounced back and looked really healthy and happy..

Or so I thought The last 3 days she's started looking really poorly again, in that her coat is lank and she's lost a lot of weight again. She disappeared on wednesday for 24 hrs and I was beside myself thinking the worst. Even my husband was out looking in the fields for her. She tuned up yesterday much to my delight and settled down in the utility room but this morning I woke up to vomit everywhere. She's been out all day, I found her asleep in the grass so took her home but she won't eat or drink. She sat on my lap for a good cuddle but then headed off again and despite calling her and looking in the fields I just can't find her.

I'm an absolute wreck now. I can't sleep and I can't stop crying. I'm so scared that she won't come back this time. I hate the thought of her going off to die on her own and us never finding her body but the thought of taking her to the vets and having her put down just breaks my heart....

Sorry for such a long post :-( if anyone has any advice as to what the right thing to do is I really appreciate it as I'm just too upset to see the wood for the trees

bad2dabone

That's such a sad post listen fair play to you for taking her in and giving her a great life.

Sorry i've no advice

The Sweeper

northernlights, if you know someone who has a dog, ask them to come over in the morning and take the dog for a walk around your property and the surrounding areas. They'll often find a silent, hidden cat where a human won't.

It's not uncommon for a cat to go off to be by itself when it feels extremely ill. Other than searching, and commandeering someone's dog to help search, there's really nothing else you can do until she turns up.

Once she turns up, you'll have to take her to the vet. Get the vet to do an assessment of her - what age is she, what's really going on with her health - if this is just an infection, and she's young, she may rally again. If she's old, or if she has some other underlying condition, it may be just too difficult to try and bring her back to health, especially if it is stressful for her, and it will be kinder to ask the vet to put her to sleep. Stay with her if that happens - she knows you, and you'll be some comfort to her.

You've been really good to that cat - many cats never know that sort of kindness in their disposable lives. I hope you find her.

lrushe

Its the worst part of keeping an animal, deciding when enough is enough and their pain outweights their quality of life. If she comes home get a vet to give you their opinion on whether it is viable to move forward with more treatment and who know she could bounce back like before, cats are amazingly resilent.
Just remember if it does come to it and you do have to make the decision to put her to sleep, as an animal owner it is our last act of compassion for an animal who has brought us comfort and joy throughout its life and there is no shame in that.

morganafay

I hope you can find her, I hate when cats disappear and you don't know what happened to them . . . they often do go away when they feel sick, and just stay somewhere quiet until the hopefully get a bit better.

I hope she comes back and you can take her to the vet. Maybe they can do something. If her mouth keeps getting infected maybe they could take out the rest of her teeth or something and that might be better for her, they can eat without them.

It sounds like she's pretty sick, poor cat.

Well done for taking her in and giving her a great life, that was a really sad story, I really hope she'll be ok.

northern lights

To everyone who's taken the time to reply, thank you all SO much. Reading your posts has really been a comfort.

Still no sign of her this morning and I've been all over the farm yard. Have to go to work now otherwise I'd be off up the fields. Thanks Sweeper for the suggestion re a dog. I'd never have thought of that. Will get on to that tomorrow.

I know that there's many people who'll think I've lost it, being so heartbroken over a stray cat but she really did become part of the family over the last 6 months and I just love her to bits.

Have given strict instructions to the other half to keep his eyes peeled! and if he see's her to bring her inside so right now all I can do is just keep everything crossed that, please god, she turns up.

Shazanne

I certainly dont think you've "lost it" - I think you should be proud of yourself for being such a loving and caring person. Animal lovers are the best type of people in the world.
I really do hope your cat returns home so you can at least have the peace of mind of knowing that she did not pass away on her own. But, if by chance she doesn't, wherever she is she knows that you love her and that you have her the very best years of her life. Well done to you for that:)

northern lights

Well sadly still no sign... No joy getting a dog as my brother in law away on holiday so his dog isn't around. I'm just back after hours of searching the fields and undergrowth but really its an impossible task as the undergrowth is so thick and we live right out in the country so she could be anywhere :-(

Have asked hubby to clear away her food bowls, litter tray, blanket and bits and pieces as it breaks my heart to see them sitting there untouched. I never thought it possible to cry so much, I just can't stop. it's the thought of her dying alone that breaks my heart.

Anyhow still not giving up hope on finding her although at this stage I know in my heart she's dead. I just want to hold her one last time and be able to bury her safe in the garden.

To bad2dabone, The Sweeper, lrushe, morganafay and Shazanne, thank you again for all your advice and kind words. If I were ever to meet you in the real world i'd give each of you a massive hug but please have a virtual one from me instead.

northern lights xx

morganafay

That's so sad I hope she turns up, but I know it's bad to have false hope and keep wishing for her to come back. It's better to accept it and grieve.

I know how you feel because one of my cats has been missing for the last week. She sometimes goes away for a few days so I wasn't worried at first, but now I am. I'm hoping she'll come back or someone else has been feeding her and she's moved in with them.

dezzyd

Oh I cried after reading this. I do hope you get closure, one way or the other on this. But do remind yourself that you did the best you could for the cat and she was loved by you. Love is the best thing you can give an animal. Big hugs to you.

lmahoney79

OP, you are a wonderful person for giving that cat the best life it could have with you, and like the others have said, if she is gone, you have certainly helped her and loved her as much as you could. Some cats do go away if they are very ill (and i dont mean to be harsh here) but some do go away on their own to die. If this is the case here, try not be too upset by the thought of her dying alone, that's the way she would of wanted it as that what some cats do. I really applaude you for your kindness to that poor cat.....And it is certainly not silly how you have become attached to her. A semi-feral cat we have been feeding for the past year had 3 gorgeous little kittens on our terrace and i fell in love with them instantly.....but then she moved them after about a week and despite our searching, never found them but the mother has been staying around our house alot which means she hasnt been feeding them, so we had to come to accept the poor little mites are probably dead and that upset myself and my partner and they were only here for a week!

chelseavera

Might not be many similarities with your baby - but recently Jessie - a previously healthy (if very overweight!!) cat did this dissappearing act on us for the guts of 3 days. She reappeared halfway through this very breathless and threw up violently. We thought it might be consistent with worms - and waited another day and a half til thunderous rain drove her in soaking and weak and totally disinterested in food. At this stage we had got wormer from the vet (spot-on applied to her neck) and got this applied. It took about 2 days - but she gradually started to eat again and is now ultra happy and affectionate (and hungry!).
This might not be the problem - but you never know... hoping for a happy ending for you. At least you know you've done all you can.

tazwaz

i'm so upset for you, i really hope she comes home and you get to say goodbye and tell her you love her..even though she well knows that after all you've done.

shanagarry

I'm sad reading that, it's never easy to lose a pet, if that is indeed the case and you don't find her.

But you should take pleasure in the fact that you made the last couple of months far, far more comfortable, and ensured that she didn't starve to death, which she would have if her teeth were left untreated. It is possible that she has FIV as peridontitis is often a sign of that.

Shazanne

Northern Lights, my heart is breaking for you. Your story has made me cry so much. I lost my very precious cat, Mog, two years ago. He was 15 years old and I'd had him since he was a kitten. It totally shattered my life and I got extremely depressed when he was gone. He had been there through my separation and divorce and through both my children leaving home - it was just him and me and I loved him like a child. I still have everything that belonged to him - even the calendars with the dates of his vet's appointments. His memorial tribute is on the www.petloss.com site - he died on February 11th 2008.
Animals touch your heart and soul and, if you are open to them, they give and bring out such love in people. You are one of the lucky ones - you gave and received an animal's love. As I said in an earlier post, be so proud of yourself. And dont be afraid to grieve openly for your pet - if other people do not understand that is their loss.
Take care of yourself and remember, we are all here to support you and we all understand. XXX

RocketFalls

Sometimes cats go off to die. I've always thought of it as a kind of..Victorian politeness. That could have been the case, but who knows, she might turn up again.

In any case, you know you've given the poor animal a good life. May not be a huge consolation right now, but..

Yeah. I have no advice. Somebody suggesting enlisting a dog to help find her. That may be a good idea.

messrs

any update yet Northernlights? your storey is so sad, but as many previous posters said, fair play to you for taking her in and looking after her so well - i really hope, that she is well and just gone of to get better - dont give up on her yet

shinikins

Don't give up hope, I had a beautiful cat, Belle, who disappeared at 8 months old after a few weeks of illness. I was heartbroken and spent many sleepless nights awake and hoping that she would come back. We eventually all decided that she had gone off to die somewhere to die quietly. Then about 6 months later i happened to look out the back window at a spot on the wall where she used to sit, and couldn't believe my eyes-there she was! A little hungrier and fairly grubby but otherwise unharmed. Our vet told us that sometimes cats will hide when they feel ill, and their natutal instincts take over and they will fend for themselves, and most will return to their home at some stage. When she got home it was as if she had never left in the first place, and slipped back into all her old habits. She never wandered again after that, so hold out a little hope that your Puss will return. XX

ghost_ie

You made the cat's last year very happy (if it was her last year - she may turn up yet) and that's something to console yourself with. Don't give up hope yet, though. I've known cats to disappear for weeks on end and turn up one morning demanding breakfast as if they've never been away.

Sittingpretty

Northern Lights - I wouldn't give up hope just yet, she may surface in a few days and even if she doesn't you have done ALL you possibly could to make her a happy, well cared for, healthy pet. Don't take it to heart either, if she is very ill and dying, it's not at all uncommon for cats to wander off to die, they prefer it that way and if that is what is to be then PLEASE don't in any way blame yourself, you have done all possible for her.

Fingers crossed for you, will say a little prayer she comes home soon.