absolutely no contact ever???

LegacyUser

Ok so briefly...

My ex (broke up 8 months ago) has called me, middle of the night (after I sent him a nice friendly email the week before) to tell me that he did not want anymore contact whatsoever, ever, not even hello if we meet, nothing at all EVER (so pretend I never excisted really:( )

I'm gutted to say the least....for info, we broke up in frendly terms, loads of love between us, even passionate love I would say as we can honestly say that we were first love for each other even tho we are late 20s, we did stay in contact lightly tho, no hanging out or anything, just random texts, the break up happens as it was a bad timing in our life really so that is why we, or him should I say broke up.
It hurted but I accepted it cause I respected his decision, you know the say, if you love them let them go so I did..

But what is with the sudden change in him??? I don't understand, I mean don't get me wrong I'm ok, I'm just speechless thats all, I won't chase him to say hello to me, I do respect the decision and I do understand not wanting to be in contact and ok maybe not being friends but pretend I don't know him is mind blowing and a bit extreme! I mean how can you pretend you don't even know someone you slept with for almost a year and loved!!

Anyone who's gone through something like this???

Guys! have you ever said that before? could you give me an insight on this!??

I will get over it it's just mad thats all, need to vent sorry.;)

Thanks for reading boardies!

Denimgirl

He may have met someone else and she got jealous with his contact with you.

Wagon

He doesn't want to stay in touch, simple as that. Ex's are just that, no longer together. Sorry.

LoughridgeL

It's over and best to forget about it.

The more you press for a reason and the more you fret over the "why" part, the less sane you will look and in the end it will reflect badly on you.
Cut your losses and move on.

metrovelvet

For whatever reason he needs to do this. Maybe the intermittent contact was too hard for him.

For now he needs to pretend you're dead. Its how he is moving on; a popular option for a lot of people in these situations.

Ickle Magoo

When it comes to being in contact with someone you care about, some people are all or nothing - perhaps he's one of them? He could have felt the intermittent contact was preventing him moving on and he feels it's better to just draw a line under it?

I have to say, I never keep in contact with ex's. I have friends, I don't need the added complication of trying to force a friendship with someone who I don't really want to be with, hence the split.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies

I never said tho that I wanted to stay friends buddy/buddy and all...and I'm not losing sleep over it either, no contact and not being friends I got it, I mean I'm not "friends" with my past ex but sure enough if I run into them out and about I would say Hi, simple as that.

I just find the not excisting a bit dramatic thats all, I have never been ask that before so I'm don't know what to think but of course I will never chase him to find out why, he doesn't want to hear rom him so I won't ask clearly ense why I posted here, I guess I needed opinion or thought of people who have acted like that to for some kind of an aswer but I guess I have to realized it mightnot happens, although from the replies I got I see a point and like I said I'm not hanging on it, I'm just surprised of the extreme thats all.

Call me crazy but if I bumped in the steet into someone I remotely know I will say hi at the least, so imagining having to act like I don't know them is just simply odd.

Oh well, thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciated.

Ickle Magoo

For what it's worth, I think the suggestion you should pretend not to know each other if you accidentally bump into each other is complete overkill. I wouldn't have thought it was necessary to ask more than that you don't contact him again but I guess that's his call to make.

LegacyUser

Yeah Ickle Magoo my point exactly!

asking no contact, fair and accepted but acting like we don't know each other is ...waow!

But like you said, his call.

Thanks Magoo!

LegacyUser

Magoo by the way, he didn't "suggest" no to say hello if we bumped into each other,
HE ASKED! that's worst.

If we had a bad break up or if I had done something bad to him I would understand but gosh, even when you manage to have a civilised break up its still turns bad at some point!
crazy!

Oh well.

Miss Fluff

He could have handled it a bit better to be fair. He is actually doing you a favour though, there is no point in being in touch really as ex's are ex's for a reason and being in touch with him, whether you realise it or not, is stopping one or both of you from moving on.

TitoPuente

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to stay in touch after a breakup. Having said that, chasing the ex after the breakup just so you can emphasise that you don't want to see them anymore is absolutely pathetic. He should have at least waited for you to contact him and then explained it diplomatically.

He sounds like an asshole. You dodged a bullet.

LegacyUser

Tito you nailed it! thank you, although, I can't come up to say he's an asshole..disturbed maybe;)

Ok, the others as well but if i had felt he wouldnt want to be in touch sure enough I thought he would of say something a long time ago. I'ts mind blowing to contact me to ask me NOT to contact him or talk or breath! a simple email would have done it for me really, I would of understand.
and the whole point was not evento aknowledge each other if we see one another, not so much the contact/friends, I guess the tittle of my post was not the best.

Sad to think a person you loved can turn out to be mister Hide!

Live and learn!!

robby^5

TitoPuente wrote: »

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to stay in touch after a breakup. Having said that, chasing the ex after the breakup just so you can emphasise that you don't want to see them anymore is absolutely pathetic. He should have at least waited for you to contact him and then explained it diplomatically.

He sounds like an asshole. You dodged a bullet.

You're going off on a tangent without properly reading the OP's post.

OP was the one who contacted her ex first, a friendly mail she put it as. In which case he could have been under pressure from a new gf to cut contact or maybe staying on such friendly terms was too painful for him.

The call in the middle of the night business to me sounds like he was under pressure to cut contact altogether. To be quite honest I wouldnt really think about it much, he might have over reacted on the phone but regardless he made his point clear that the two of you should cut contact so thats the end of it really, up to OP how she thinks of him now.

Fox McCloud

I would imagine he's not properly over you, your friendly email maybe showed him your happy and getting on with life without him and it hurt him...

So he asks for a complete break in a stupid way, not even saying hello is going to be harder than a friendly nod!

TitoPuente

Fox McCloud wrote: »

I would imagine he's not properly over you, your friendly email maybe showed him your happy and getting on with life without him and it hurt him...

So he asks for a complete break in a stupid way, not even saying hello is going to be harder than a friendly nod!

Yeah, kind of sounds like it. It's a pathetic, immature attitude to be perfectly honest. Either the guy is completely heartbroken and acting like an idiot... or he's just acting like an idiot.

Wagon

TitoPuente wrote: »

Yeah, kind of sounds like it. It's a pathetic, immature attitude to be perfectly honest. Either the guy is completely heartbroken and acting like an idiot... or he's just acting like an idiot.

I've only heard one side to the story. I think there's more to it.

OP, he just doesnt lke you to the point that he wants nothing more to do with you. Accept it.

LegacyUser

Thank for the other views, always possibility although the fact that he's acting like an idiot or immature is high in my mind;)

Wagon, not sure where you are going with your comment, I take it for what its worth but I said it before and say it again we had no fight or bad break up so no liking me anymore sure, could be of course its kind of out of the blue, but even people I don't like or even someone I had a bad date with I would say a polite hello in the street, that's just the way I was raised.

The fact I was puzzled over it shows how surprising his actions are. I would love to justify his attitude by me having being awful to him or mean or whatever, but I haven't so need for uncessary unkind comment really.

But hey, I came here for opinions and I got them so thanks.