What's the best way to get a woman's phone number?

LegacyUser

Hey guys, what I wanted to know was what is the best method of getting a womens phone number in a place like a shopping centre?.

I saw this really attractive girl today and she bumped into me by accident and she was really sorry about it and she was very friendly. Anyway she apologized and then went about her business. What I wanted to know was would it have been odd for me to have bumped into her again and ask for her number? I have done this in clubswith a few drinks on he but I have never done it in shops or anything like that. suggestions welcomed...

Karmafaerie

I never ask girls for their phone number.
I find that it tends to put some people on the defense.
It kinda forces them to make a spot decision, and can quiet often put them off.

If I meet a girl I like, whether in a nightclub or a cafe, I try and talk to them first, as it takes the sudden surprise out of it.

If however I don't have that luxury, as in your case with the girl in the supermarket, I find it a lot more effective to give her my number.

I'll walk up, be honest, and say that I'm taking a stab in the dark, but if she's interested in meeting up for a coffee or a drink, here's my number.
Then make my goodbyes and be on my way.


That way she doesn't have to commit to anything, but the option is there if she's interested.
A girl who might have said no simply out of defence and surprise may actually be interested but was caught on the jump.
This way she has to luxury to think about it, and contact you on her terms.

I've had fairly good results this way anyway, and if not what harm, like.

LegacyUser

Simply go up to her with a confused look on your face and your phone in your hand, say 'i'm sorry to bother you, but I'm getting no reception around here and I'm waiting for a very important phone call, would you mind ringing my phone to check it?'

Works every time.

Getting a phone number is pointless unless you have something else behind it.

kjl

ask her.

LighterGuy

Can you? wrote: »

...what's the best way to get a womens phone number?...

Ask.
lol. Sorry had to say it. Someone was bound too :P
***edit*** i got beaten to it!!! arghhhhhhhh. lol.


But to answer your question... You can get this girls number. Its just a different approach than being in a club/pub. Well, its the same approach as in you chat, flirt, be confident then just ask. But in many cases if you fancy a girl who works in a shop you go into alot. you dont know if she might fancy you back (thats where becoming a regular face and chatting bit by bit comes into play) but... from the sounds of it you are pretty sure she does. (which helps so much lol)

So just put yourself around her - what i mean is, where ever she works go in and try to spark a conversation. Do it soon so you are still fresh in her mind. So it can be like one of those "oh hey again" moment.


I say just try and talk to her more. Then pick the best moment to ask for her phone number ... and remember, if she says no, dont go there anymore lol.

BumbleB

Maybe in the States ,no go here

KasandraRose

Can you? wrote: »

Hey guys, what I wanted to know was what is the best method of getting a womens phone number in a place like a shopping centre?.

I saw this really attractive girl today and she bumped into me by accident and she was really sorry about it and she was very friendly. Anyway she apologized and then went about her business. What I wanted to know was would it have been odd for me to have bumped into her again and ask for her number? I have done this in clubswith a few drinks on he but I have never done it in shops or anything like that. suggestions welcomed...

I say go for it! Just ask her. I had a similar experience at the grocery store where I bumped into a guy. He gave my his phone number and told me to call him if I wanted to get together and go to dinner. We ended up dating for a year. As a girl, I like when guys approach me and ask for my number. If you're not comfortable with that, just give her yours. That way, the ball is in her court!

KasandraRose

Why not? As a female, I find it attractive if a guy takes the initiative. Then again, I'm an American. Is there really that big of a difference between American and Irish?

KillerKity

To be honest if a stranger asked me for my number without any kind of conversation I'd be kinda freaked out. It'd be different if I knew him to see from just say the bus-stop and we had general chats but otherwise 'fraid not!

LegacyUser

KillerKity wrote: »

To be honest if a stranger asked me for my number without any kind of conversation I'd be kinda freaked out. It'd be different if I knew him to see from just say the bus-stop and we had general chats but otherwise 'fraid not!

This is exactly what stops me from doing it every time. I always assume that this is the first thought that would come to a women,,

LegacyUser

Hey Op,
was in the same situation just there this week.
Noticed this really pretty girl in a shop in a local shopping centre. Got the vibes she fancied me 2 weeks ago when I was buying something.

I tried to put myself in there when she was working. Happened to notice an old friend was working there too. He later added me on facebook and I seen the pretty girl was a friend of his. He sends me a message (just general chit-chat about something) I get back replying to what he said and jokingly said "whats the name of the pretty girl working in the shop?" lol (its a small shop) ....... he never got back ... pssh.

So on tuesday I went into the shop again. Chatted with her, kinda breaking the ice found out she was my friends cousin. Cause I made a sneaky line of "oh is XXX working today?" (my friend) which lead into that lol. Gave it a few more days to see if my friend would get back (I mean in these situations where a friend knows someone its best to get the low down about them you know, are they single etc?)

... he never gets back. Some friend huh?
.... i decide to add her on facebook. I was well aware it might come off as weird. But seeing as how i talked to her, i know her cousin, ... what happens? she declines the friend request.


rather unfortunete.

santana75

KillerKity wrote: »

To be honest if a stranger asked me for my number without any kind of conversation I'd be kinda freaked out. It'd be different if I knew him to see from just say the bus-stop and we had general chats but otherwise 'fraid not!

Id have to agree with killerkitty. An ex girlfriend of mine used to get guys coming up to her in shops asking for her number without ever having met them before. Her reaction was to run a mile, freaked her out completely, thought the guys were just weirdos. I know in an ideal world(or as Bumble bee said, America)you could do this and it wouldnt be frowned upon. But this is Ireland and unfortunatley if you approached a girl you never met previously and either gave her your number or asked for hers, the chances are she'll think your wierd. Hey, I wish it was different and people in this country could be direct but its just not.
My advice OP, forget about hsi kind of cold approach. At least in this country anyway.

blairbear

I don't think she'll think it's weird if she fancies you!

Obviously though it's going to be whether she fancies you on the basis of looks and general demeanour, as opposed to having rapport and personality thrown into the mix. I've had guys ask for my phone number in a shop or on the street. They were mainly foreign guys though, Americans or Continental. It did come off as very weird and sleazy with a couple of them. One asked me if he could do a magic trick to get my attention first. I was like, no, feck off, I'm trying to buy my groceries!

The one time I DID give my number to a guy in a similar situation was when I thought he was smokin hot! (Sure what else had I to go on?!)And he seemed nice and normal, was very straight forward and didn't give the impression that he was going up to ten random women a day demanding phone numbers.

R.D. aka MR.D

I totally agree with Karmafaerie’s advice.

As an Irish girl I wouldn’t care if it was Johnny Depp or Christian Bale’s twin that came up to me and asked me for my number I would say no. definitely not, get away from me you weirdo!

That goes for getting a text/call out of the blue from some one I’d ‘called to help’. However, saying that I would probably pretend I didn’t have a phone/out of battery in case he was trying to rob me.

It might be the norm in other places but it certainly isn’t in Ireland.

Now if Johnny Depp or Christian Bale’s twin came up to me and said- oh here’s my number give me a text sometime if your interested. I might just do that!

Meteoric

I agree, I know in the States it's normal, but here you are going up to someone you don't know and asking them to give you something.
When it happened to me a couple of times it freaked me out.
If you hand them your number and say you would like to know them it's giving something of yourself. I'd probably have called and met for coffee or something at least in that situation.

curehead

It's weird and creepy

BumbleB

I was in Austin on a training course with a friend of mine .The first day we finished at 4 so we decide to go out for a few scoops ,on the way we passed a shop ,he went in bought a card ,letter and a stamp and asked the cashier for her pen.He put his own address on the card.I was dumbfounded ,what did you do that for? ,"you'll see " at that moment a group of really hot girls walked by and he said " excuse me girls wheres the post office ?" . we got chatting got their phone numbers and met them later on that night and we did that every single night for two weeks solid. That would never work here.


I've also met a really nice (latino ) girl on the train in Boston.

If your the kind of person that can build rapport with people ,like Derren Brown go for it. I mean if you cant make a girl feel comfortable in your company then forget about it.

A much better angle would be to go to pubs and chat up american girls (tourists) on the front end of the week.

LighterGuy

Its kinda bad the way we live in a country where if you like a girl in a shop you cant really do much to try and get her phone number.

I am a firm believer that two people can meet anywhere. But I guess the story goes you have to be able to make the girl comfortable around you (as said above) ... which is kinda hard if all you start out is just being another customer.

Eve_Dublin

blairbear wrote: »

I don't think she'll think it's weird if she fancies you!

Obviously though it's going to be whether she fancies you on the basis of looks and general demeanour, as opposed to having rapport and personality thrown into the mix. I've had guys ask for my phone number in a shop or on the street. They were mainly foreign guys though, Americans or Continental. It did come off as very weird and sleazy with a couple of them. One asked me if he could do a magic trick to get my attention first. I was like, no, feck off, I'm trying to buy my groceries!

The one time I DID give my number to a guy in a similar situation was when I thought he was smokin hot! (Sure what else had I to go on?!)And he seemed nice and normal, was very straight forward and didn't give the impression that he was going up to ten random women a day demanding phone numbers.

Yes! If she fancies you, she might say yes and if not, then she definitely will not as it´s going to be a totally superficial invitation...you think she´s hot and it has to be reciprocated. Your basing it on nothing else and she will do the same. You have to be honest with yourself OP....is this girl in your league? I know it sounds harsh and average looking men can win women over with their personality...if they have a chance to prove it but if you just go up and ask her for her number, you won´t get that chance. At the initial stages were just as superficial as men.

I wouldn´t ask someone out unless I knew they fancied me....and don´t mistake manners and friendliness for flirting like so many guys do. You need to know the difference if you´re prone to getting your confidence knocked easily from rejection. If I bumped into Quasimodo´s Irish cousin on Henry Street I´d be polite and apologetic as well...doesn´t mean I fancy them.

And on a side note, I would hate to go on a date with someone unless I was sure we´d get along. Just cos she is hot and has manners doesn´t mean you´ll have anything to talk about. Would it not be better to find some way to get to talk to her instead? I´ve absolutely no idea how that works....maybe it WOULD be better just to risk it after all...I guess it´s all about taking risks eh?

I was asked out a few months ago here in Madrid by a guy who made me laugh and immediately made me feel comfortable (he´d been to Ireland and we had a chat about Irish bands). He gave me HIS number (his business card...he was a session musician...an instant winner for me) and I got in touch a week or so later and we almost met but I ended up going out with my housemate instead but if I didn´t, I definitely would´ve met that guy. He did everything right and he seemed SINCERE...that was the most appealing aspect.

Katgurl

I am an Irish girl and I can't believe the replies here, frankly they make me feel sorry for Irish guys (or any guy living in Ireland) and shed a bit of light on why the not-so-recent-anymore influx of foreign women was so welcomed.


If he asked for her number / asked her out he'd be seen as a freak / robber / weirdo??? Seriously?


OP, my advice would have been to chit-chat a bit & asked her in a very non-pushy way if she fancied going out sometime (if you were getting a friendly vibe from her). I've been in this situation a few times and I've always found it very flattering & either agreed or if i'm definitely not interested/attached at the time I say thanks very much but I have a boyfriend.

I always take it as a huge compliment and I really can't fathom some of the replies here.

Eve_Dublin

Katgurl wrote: »

I am an Irish girl and I can't believe the replies here, frankly they make me feel sorry for Irish guys (or any guy living in Ireland) and shed a bit of light on why the not-so-recent-anymore influx of foreign women was so welcomed.


If he asked for her number / asked her out he'd be seen as a freak / robber / weirdo??? Seriously?


OP, my advice would have been to chit-chat a bit & asked her in a very non-pushy way if she fancied going out sometime (if you were getting a friendly vibe from her). I've been in this situation a few times and I've always found it very flattering & either agreed or if i'm definitely not interested/attached at the time I say thanks very much but I have a boyfriend.

I always take it as a huge compliment and I really can't fathom some of the replies here.

You´re not basing all Irish women on the few responses on this thread are you?

PrimalTherapy

They were mainly foreign guys though, Americans or Continental. It did come off as very weird and sleazy with a couple of them. One asked me if he could do a magic trick to get my attention first. I was like, no, feck off, I'm trying to buy my groceries!

They would be what they do call pick up artists in the US. PUA's/ alpha males

Katgurl

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You´re not basing all Irish women on the few responses on this thread are you?

i'm an Irish woman so no, i'm not.

LegacyUser

You're gonna love this....girl I know was out walking recently. Garda car passed her 3 times.The 4th time it stopped, they called her over and the younger one paid her a compliment. She was mortified, and moved on!
The next day he was at the front door - it's a small village and he had found out where she lived. He asked her out for a drink.
She's not sure yet what she thinks, but I though he deserved even one chance at a drink just for having the guts to do that!!! (they're only in their early twenties)They've had one night out and there may be more!

Eve_Dublin

Katgurl wrote: »

i'm an Irish woman so no, i'm not.

Good to hear

I personally know plenty of girls who wouldn´t be freaked out by an attractive, charming man approching them. Unfortunately this rarely happens and gives the genuine lads a bad name. If a girl is rude to you for just asking for her number, then she´s not worth your time. Move on.

LegacyUser

Karmafaerie wrote: »

I never ask girls for their phone number.
I find that it tends to put some people on the defense.
It kinda forces them to make a spot decision, and can quiet often put them off.

If I meet a girl I like, whether in a nightclub or a cafe, I try and talk to them first, as it takes the sudden surprise out of it.

If however I don't have that luxury, as in your case with the girl in the supermarket, I find it a lot more effective to give her my number.

I'll walk up, be honest, and say that I'm taking a stab in the dark, but if she's interested in meeting up for a coffee or a drink, here's my number.
Then make my goodbyes and be on my way.


That way she doesn't have to commit to anything, but the option is there if she's interested.
A girl who might have said no simply out of defence and surprise may actually be interested but was caught on the jump.
This way she has to luxury to think about it, and contact you on her terms.

I've had fairly good results this way anyway, and if not what harm, like.

+1 to this. The reality is that most girls would be on their guard if they were asked for their number. Personally, if someone came up and asked me for my number, I'd think it was a piss take. Nothing to do with dis-trust of men. After all, we are living in a country where slagging is a national sport. So don't be all defensive that Irish women don't respond well to on the spot requests.

So the next best step is to try Karmafaeries idea.