When Life throws you lemons...

Doc

“When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!”

Someone said this to me today.

We all know this saying telling us that when we are given a problem in life we should see the good in the situation and make the best out of it.

Well I say **** you Mr. Saying maker-upper! Let’s be honest if life is throwing you lemons in all likelihood life has sat you in the back of a van at life’s lemon orchard during harvest time and you’re getting in the way of people trying to get the lemons in.

Get the **** out of the way don’t sit there in a pile of lemons trying to make lemonade.

(indecently life would have to also be throwing you sugar and soda water, otherwise your going to just end up with lemon juice aren’t you? Twat!)

Why make the best out of a bad situation? Why not just change your situation? That’s what I intend to do or alternatively kick life in the nuts and tell it not to be chucking lemons at me ever again.

To sum up why the hell do people still rattle off these inane sayings?






(You may substitute the word life with the word boss)

fufureida

You're a funny guy.

KingLoser

i'd make a meringue tbh. some cans, fcuk that lemonade.

Duggy747

fufureida wrote: »

You're a funny guy.

That's why I'll kill you last!

:pac:

fufureida

Duggy747 wrote: »

That's why I'll kill you last!

Gotta love the Iranian president. Handsome devil ain't he?

fufureida

http://img.moronail.net/img/1/3/1413.jpg

Killer Pigeon

How do you drink bitterness?

(bitterness as in a person's attitude)

Fringe

When life gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS.

Caliden

When life gives you lemons, just say '**** the lemons,' and bail.

Hank_Jones

I always heard it as ''when life gives you lemons, make lemonade''.

Don't think I've ever really seen anyone throw lemons.

sponsoredwalk

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I always heard it as ''when life gives you lemons, make lemonade''.

Don't think I've ever really seen anyone throw lemons.

That's why he hates the phrase so much

Naos

/Enter idiot who says "When life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt! CHORTLE!!11ONE

mathie

When life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt! CHORTLE!!11ONE

NothingMan

How about "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in bush". How the fuck is it? Is the first bird a bloody falcon who you've trained to hunt birds for you? Fuckin better be!

Hank_Jones

Just testing something...

phill106

NothingMan wrote: »

How about "A bird in teh ahnd is worth 2 in bush". How the fuck is it? Is the first bird a bloody falcom who you've trained to hunt birds for you? Fuckin better be!

/Puts on smarty pants hat

I think the phrase means that one bird in your possession is better then the unsure possibility of possessing the other 2 birds.

/Takes off hat and ignores the spelling of FALCOM above


/fails at ignoring FALCOM and feels really bad about it

mathie

The phrase 'bar none'
'This is the best thread bar none'.

It's the most pointless phrase ever. Bar none.

Hank_Jones

Thank this one as well Quazzie.

What are you doing exactly?

NothingMan

phill106 wrote: »

/ignores the spelling of FALCOM above


/fails at ignoring FALCOM and feels really bad about it

Pfft. I don't believe you never heard of a falcom! It would kick a falcons ass. But I changed my post to falcon incase anyone else is as ignorant as you. :P

mathie

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Thank this one as well Quazzie.

What are you doing exactly?

F**k me it's the Thanks Police.

the keen edge

NothingMan wrote: »

Pfft. I don't believe you never heard of a falcom! It would kick a falcons ass. But I changed my post to falcon incase anyone else is as ignorant as you. :P

Em, ok, and where can I buy said 'Falcom'; I've got a Falcon problem.

Hank_Jones

mathie wrote: »

F**k me it's the Thanks Police.

I'm the Thanks Gestapo, not the Thanks Police.
Much more hard line and we know how to remove those thanks from society.

NothingMan

the keen edge wrote: »

Em, ok, and where can I buy said 'Falcom'; I've got a Falcon problem.

Well there's three places. There's the falcom Hut, that's on third. There's falcoms-R-Us, that's on third too, and there's Falcoms Falcoms Falcoms, that's also on third. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the falcom complex on third. The Falcom district

the keen edge

NothingMan wrote: »

Well there's three places. There's the falcom Hut, that's on third. There's falcoms-R-Us, that's on third too, and there's Falcoms Falcoms Falcoms, that's also on third. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the falcom complex on third. The Falcom district

Oh right so that's what they do down there. You know I've drove through that area so many times but never stopped in for a look around.

On my way back from the office this evening I'll probably stop of there for a bungo and see if I can pick up that Falcom.

antodeco

"A hand in a bird, is worth two in the bush." Eh, fisting..?

mathie

Quazzie don't thank this.

pickarooney

NothingMan wrote: »

Well there's three places. There's the falcom Hut, that's on third. There's falcoms-R-Us, that's on third too, and there's Falcoms Falcoms Falcoms, that's also on third. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the falcom complex on third. The Falcom district

Where does this quote originally come from? I've heard it paraphrased a few dozen times but can't track down the source.

NothingMan

pickarooney wrote: »

Where does this quote originally come from? I've heard it paraphrased a few dozen times but can't track down the source.

The simpsons. The one when Homer works for Hank Scorpio. He asks about Hammocks to boost moral for his team. Then it all ends in a James Bond esque shootout.

Homer now owns the Denver Broncos but is somewhat displeased at this.

With sexy results.

ash23

Having your cake and eating it.

Well of course I want to eat my cake. What's the point in having it if all I can do is look at it longingly? Why would I bother getting a cake if I didn't intend on eating it?
So yes, I want my cake and I want to eat it.




......... and now I really do want some cake

conorhal

phill106 wrote: »

/Puts on smarty pants hat

I think the phrase means that one bird in your possession is better then the unsure possibility of possessing the other 2 birds.

/Takes off hat and ignores the spelling of FALCOM above


/fails at ignoring FALCOM and feels really bad about it

/Puts on super-smartypants hat!

Bah! That's just hyperbolic discounting.

Given two similar rewards, humans show a preference for one that arrives sooner rather than later. Humans are said to discount the value of the later reward, by a factor that increases with the length of the delay. In behavioral economics, hyperbolic discounting is a particular mathematical model thought to approximate this discounting process; that is, it models how humans actually make such valuations.

'A bird in the hand' (unless that bird is Jessica Alba) is simply short term thinking for those with no long term objective goals or an ability to grasp the concept of 'delayed gratification'.
Screw the bird in the hand crowd! :pac:

who what when

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Just testing something...

I'll give you a hand...

Doc

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

I think Ill drive thanks.

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse

What?

A watched pot never boils

Screew you Physics!

A woman's work is never done

She must be **** at her job.

All roads lead to Rome

I live on an Island so how dose that work then?

funk-you

Normally I hate these sayings but was cheered up by one a while back. One of the guys we were out with commented on my GF's highly camp mate saying 'You can't polish a turd', her mate turns round sharp as you like mid dance and says 'But you can roll it in glitter darlin'. Nice outlook to have.

-Funk

LpPepper

When life throws you lemons , you squirt them into peoples eyes!

Overheal

I prefer "When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD"

Boom_Bap

When life gives you sour grapes, make cheap wine

chin_grin

:P

Mitch Hedberg wrote:

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make it at home; there's more to it than that. "Want some more homemade Sprite?" "Not 'til you figure out what the f*ck else is in it!

alwaysadub

When life gives you lemons.........find a kid with a paper cut

Overheal

Overheal wrote: »

I prefer "When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD"

I know probably everyone in the world has already seen this, but it's still great:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk

Boom_Bap

When life gives you lemons, you paint that sh*t gold


*any hip hop heads out there will recognise this one

peanuthead

OP:

http://lemonadegame.com/

Sean Quagmire

Wow Quazzie is feeling very thankful today.

Darksaga87

“When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!”

When Life gives you diabetes - don't.