How to run away?

LegacyUser

Before I start I know that most people will reply that I shouldn't run away from my problems and I need to stay and sort them but I'd just like you to trust me that this isn't possible and that I need to leave for personal issues of not being able to take it here any more.

I just want to completely cut off my friends and family and go but I have no idea how. I have very little money but I know that people have done this in the past.

I'm fully expecting to end up homeless btw so that isn't an issue, I've slept rough before and it's not a problem. But I just want advice on how I should do this, where I should go and tips on sourcing food and ideas for cash in hand work.

kjl

Well if you are serious about leaving, you could apply for a job in another county, or county for that matter. Why don't you explain your problem here and we can all help you.

Stu

Could you not move to another county in Ireland instead of moving abroad and settle there for a while until you get your head together and are thinking more rationally. You seem to be running away from something but don't have a plan as to how your going to support yourself and your info is a bit sketchy. Do u work? Do u have any money saved?

LegacyUser

I wan't to go because I have no life what so ever. I step outside maybe once every 5 or 6 weeks. I feel very little connection to my family or anyone else I lost interest in socialising with my friends because I had no money and was never really a social person anyway but did so because I felt I should. I can't get any benefits because I failed college and was repeating but I was too anti-social to attend so I failed again which puts me in the position of not being able to afford to repeat again and not being able to get a job because I am too anti-social.

I leech of my mother, she pays for my food but I have no other expenses because I don't leave the house. I don't mind being alone but I don't like being alone around other people(friends and family) and I just think I would be happier if I didn't have to be around them feeling like a loser. If I was completely on my own I would only be judged by myself.

This will sounds ridiculous but I honestly wouldn't mind being in prison if I could do it without interacting with other prisoners. Sitting at home reading all day is actually kind of enjoyable but it's when I have to face other people I realise what a ****ing loser I am, as long I have no one to compare myself to I'm actually quite fond of myself and don't lack self esteem.

Kimia

Why don't you pull yourself out of the rut that you are in and instead of running away get some dignity back and start looking for a job. Any job. Get yourself back on your feet, it's not impossible. You sound like you've completely given up and you are wasting your life.

Start seeing a counseller, there are those out there that can help without needing a huge amount of money, and I'm sure if you're in receipt of social welfare you should be getting 150-200 a week? This (if you never go out as you say) should easily cover seeing someone.

Or by all means, give up and run away. Whatever. You're the only one with the power to change your situation.

weiland79

You could of course choose not to look at it as running away but as a fresh start, there is nothing wrong with a fresh start, people do it all the time.
What would concern me about your post is that you are resigned to sleeping rough. I don't see how you can think that this is a viable option. Do you not realise that once you end up sleeping on the streets it can be very difficult if not imposible to escape from.

I would really try and look into a fresh start somewhere else, maybe try and get a little cash together for a deposit on a a small bedsit. A job no matter what creates a sense of worth and purpose.

You say that you are an unsocialable person. So what? Plenty of people prefer their own company and don't socialise outside of work. But you never know you might surprise yourself. That beer on a friday evening after a long weeks work can be very satisfying.

Please take it easy and don't rush off to sleep under a bridge, It can't be any sort of life to live.

Miss Fluff

Do you think you might be agoraphobic OP? Have you ever discussed how you feel with a health professional? To me it sounds like you would really benefit from some professional help. "Running away" to be homeless on the streets is only going to compound your problems.

LegacyUser

Kimia wrote: »

Why don't you pull yourself out of the rut that you are in and instead of running away get some dignity back and start looking for a job. Any job. Get yourself back on your feet, it's not impossible. You sound like you've completely given up and you are wasting your life.

Start seeing a counseller, there are those out there that can help without needing a huge amount of money, and I'm sure if you're in receipt of social welfare you should be getting 150-200 a week? This (if you never go out as you say) should easily cover seeing someone.

Or by all means, give up and run away. Whatever. You're the only one with the power to change your situation.

I receive nothing. You can't claim social welfare until 6 months after college and you can't claim a grant if you are repeating.

weiland79 wrote: »

You could of course choose not to look at it as running away but as a fresh start, there is nothing wrong with a fresh start, people do it all the time.
What would concern me about your post is that you are resigned to sleeping rough. I don't see how you can think that this is a viable option. Do you not realise that once you end up sleeping on the streets it can be very difficult if not imposible to escape from.

I would really try and look into a fresh start somewhere else, maybe try and get a little cash together for a deposit on a a small bedsit. A job no matter what creates a sense of worth and purpose.

You say that you are an unsocialable person. So what? Plenty of people prefer their own company and don't socialise outside of work. But you never know you might surprise yourself. That beer on a friday evening after a long weeks work can be very satisfying.

Getting a job just isn't that easy I don't think you understand how bad I am with people.

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Do you think you might be agoraphobic OP? Have you ever discussed how you feel with a health professional? To me it sounds like you would really benefit from some professional help. "Running away" to be homeless on the streets is only going to compound your problems.

No I'm not afraid of going outside, I just don't want to. I just don't like people. I feel like **** when I'm around people but I'm fine when by myself so I want to stay that way.

tenchi-fan

I think you need to cut the apron strings. You're painting your situation as dire - and maybe it is - but living at home, not earning and not paying bills is doing nothing for your self esteem.

Have you actually applied for jobs? A lot of jobs suit people who don't like working with people. An office job where you sit on your own the whole day. A security person job working nights. A job as a cleaner.

As for going abroad, there are work abroad programmes in Australia, New Zealand and Canada. I suggest you borrow at least €4000 in addition to the cost of your ticket. England isn't too far away and it is cheap to get there. It might be worth considering. Or of course Ireland has plenty of other towns and cities you could disappear to away from your current situation.

You should get the idea out of your head that you will be able to survive without working. If you are going abroad, assume you are going to find a job and pay your way rather than trying to sleep rough.

Ickle Magoo

justWantTo Go wrote: »

I receive nothing. You can't claim social welfare until 6 months after college and you can't claim a grant if you are repeating.


Getting a job just isn't that easy I don't think you understand how bad I am with people.

No I'm not afraid of going outside, I just don't want to. I just don't like people. I feel like **** when I'm around people but I'm fine when by myself so I want to stay that way.

You think lying starving and manky on the street, getting the crap kicked out of you or goodness knows what is going to feel so much better?

You need to go to your GP asap and tell them how you feel. I don't think you posted to get tips on being homeless. You need help, go get it. Running away without any money and becoming a homeless beggar is not going to do anything but compound your issues and add a few more new ones.

Best of luck.

el tel

If you want to get away have you considered joining the French Foreign Legion?

That might give you the kick up the backside you need, plus it will get you well away, teach you some discipline, and make you HTFU.

I know a few boys who joined up; nobody heard from them for two years before they came home on leave! Quite a showstopper I can tell you.

LegacyUser

tenchi-fan wrote: »

I think you need to cut the apron strings. You're painting your situation as dire - and maybe it is - but living at home, not earning and not paying bills is doing nothing for your self esteem.

Have you actually applied for jobs? A lot of jobs suit people who don't like working with people. An office job where you sit on your own the whole day. A security person job working nights. A job as a cleaner.

No I haven't applied for jobs because I don't want to do the interview. I haven't left my house in 6 weeks because I just don't know how to deal with people and would not be capable of doing a job interview.

It's probably hard for you to understand how someone isn't capable of doing something that most people find simple but I genuinely can't. I feel almost sick talking to people I'm just not able, I don't understand social situations and they scare the **** out of me.

I can't get a bank for any amount. I have zero money coming so can't afford to get help and even if I could afford it I wouldn't because I'd be just as uncomfortable as I'd be in a job interview.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

You think lying starving and manky on the street, getting the crap kicked out of you or goodness knows what is going to feel so much better?

You need to go to your GP asap and tell them how you feel. I don't think you posted to get tips on being homeless. You need help, go get it. Running away without any money and becoming a homeless beggar is not going to do anything but compound your issues and add a few more new ones.

Best of luck.

I know my plan was stupid but the other plans were worse.

Stu

OP, you need to see your GP. You "may" have social anxiety (i'm not diagnosing MODS), you will need to get referred to a psychiatrist by your GP so you can start getting a grip on your your issues and working through them. Please don't say that you can't face a GP. Your going to have to start somewhere if you want to figure out why you feel so uneasy around people and how to resolve it. Its going to take a lot of hard work but you have plenty of time on your hands and really can't continue to live like this. Running away is not the answer and may exacerbate the problem.

Oryx

If you cannot leave the house then realistically you cannot move away, your problems interacting with others wont change, they will worsen.

You need to do a rethink on how to escape the things that make you unhappy. Use this forum as a sounding board if you want, but ideally, try to find someone in real life to talk to about this. I know you dont like people, but you cant readjust your whole life without talking to someone about it, and getting some kind of assistance, or you will end up in a tougher situation than you are in now.

LegacyUser

Stu wrote: »

OP, you need to see your GP. You "may" have social anxiety (i'm not diagnosing MODS), you will need to get referred to a psychiatrist by your GP so you can start getting a grip on your your issues and working through them. Please don't say that you can't face a GP. Your going to have to start somewhere if you want to figure out why you feel so uneasy around people and how to resolve it. Its going to take a lot of hard work but you have plenty of time on your hands and really can't continue to live like this. Running away is not the answer and may exacerbate the problem.

I can't afford any of this and don't really want to do it anyway. I don't really have anyone to talk to because I don't want to freak them out. It's just me and my mother here and I already leech of her enough.

LegacyUser

As per others' posts OP, you're going to need to get help addressing these problems here and now. Even if you could afford to, "running away" someplace else isn't going to change anything for the better - you'll need a job or some other source of income, you'll still have to interact with people, and so forth. It'll just all be harder because it'll be in a context and an environment you understand even less well than the present one. To survive those kind of circumstances - getting help, getting casual work, finding your way, overcoming language and cultural difficulties, etc - you need to be *better* than average at interacting with other people, not worse.

You need to talk to a doctor. They can help you get things back on a more even keel. It sounds like you're struggling to deal with this by yourself, so don't. Talk to your GP and get some help handling things. If your mother funds your food, I'm sure she'll fund a visit to a GP if you talk to her.

Kimia

justWanttoGo wrote: »

I can't afford any of this and don't really want to do it anyway.

Are you happy the way you are right now? No? I thought not.

It doesn't seem like it, but it can be that simple. Stay the way you are and be miserable. Take a chance and change, and maybe be happy. Up to you. You're being extremely defeatist. What do you want people to say to you? Class 101 on how you can make being homeless work for you?? Seriously?

Oryx

justWanttoGo wrote: »

I can't afford any of this and don't really want to do it anyway. I don't really have anyone to talk to because I don't want to freak them out. It's just me and my mother here and I already leech of her enough.

You really need to stop worrying about freaking people out. I think anyone close to you would be more freaked out at the thought that you are this troubled and are not saying anything. If you reach out, it may surprise you that there are people there to help you, who will not consider it leeching.

The running away thing you mentioned here is an attempt to run away from who you are now, and you wont be able to do that. No matter where you go, there you are. So stay here and face whats wrong. It may mean depending on others temporarily until you get your feet under you properly, but thats actually ok. Dont see it as asking for too much, because youre not.