Oral Sex / HIV

LegacyUser

Not sure if this is the right place to be looking for advice but it's just going around and around in my head and I'm not coping.

I was recently away on holiday and I met a guy and we went back to his place when the night ended.

There was no intercourse - only heavy kissing and oral sex, where he did "cum" in my mouth.

I didn't stay the night and he walked me back to where I was staying. I had been drinking a lot and when I got into the apartment I made myself sick as I was feeling quite ill.

For the rest of the holiday I did see him out again, picking up others and one bar girl (who wasn't aware I had been with him) said he was dangerous, always picking up people and that she had heard he had AIDS. :-(

Since then I have been going out of my mind with worry - It's only been 2 weeks - and I haven't been feeling well at all, I know it doesn't sound a lot but runny nose etc and it is summer. I've read flu like symptons could be a early symptom.

Sorry for my rant / post - I know I do need to wait 3 months but I'm not having a real life waiting.

:-(

Canard

I'm pretty sure there's almost no chance of transferring HIV via oral sex - he might not even have it. Just count yourself lucky you didn't have intercourse, and maybe get tested.

fungun

Need to be careful - although it cannot typically be passed thru oral sex all it needs is a small cut in your mouth for it to be potentially transferred. The risk may be small, but it does exist.

Id get yourself tested as soon as feasible, might be worth seeing a doctor and outlining your worries and getting a professional opinion.

However the bar girl hardly knows about this - if people knew he had AIDS he would not be going around sleeping with people - with current laws you can actually get prosecuted for sleeping with people if you know you are HIV+, so if whats worrying you is her comment, then id try to put this bit out of your mind

All the best

Miguel_Sanchez

Chances are very slim.

Chances are much higher that the bar girl who said this was one of his spurned conquests and is now spreading rumours about him.

But as said above, go to your doctor, outline your fears and get yourself tested.

Uriel.

As others have said, the chances are extremely slim.

Firstly, even without knowing anything about the guy, he is, statistically, very unlikely to be HIV+

Don't listen to what other people say about a person, especially when it comes to HIV/AIDS. Although, it's probably the usual lack of undertanding, from the bar girl, if he did actually have AIDS, you'd more than likely know about it. He'd be a very sick individual. AIDS is not the same as being HIV+ in terms of the individual suffering from the disease.

If I were you I just wouldn't worry about it. Oral sex is not an efficient way of HIV transmission. Most "reported cases" of Oral transmission are found to be false or misunderstood - i.e. a series of dangerous exposures, intercourse etc...

As far as I know there has only been a couple of "likley" verifiable oral transmissions in the history of the HIV crisis and in nearly all those cases there are "abnormal" circumstances -e.g. presence of open sores (syphillis etc..) on the sex glands and/or in/on the oral cavity.

The greatest risk to your health from the incident you describe, is the damage to your mental health that this worry is causing.

No one here and no doctor can tell you that you are 100% safe but statistically you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

If you can't move on from this then there is a simple solution - get yourself tested. It's no big deal and you will then have complete peace of mind. Plus, it's a good idea to get tested once a year or so, when you are not in monogamous relationship and you have had multiple partners etc...

A test at 6 weeks for your "exposure" would be conclusive, but current testing guidelines in Ireland say you should wait 12/13 weeks for a conclusive test result. My advice to you is that if you decide to get tested, wait the 13 weeks. If you don't (and get tested after 6 weeks) you'll read all sorts of stuff on the net about differing opinions on the "Window period" etc.. and you will stress yourself out more and then go back and get tested again at week 12/13.

Best of luck. I'd bet you my salary that a test at 13 weeks for you will be negative.

Uriel.

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

And you wouldn't be feeling any symptoms after 2 weeks so put that out of your mind.

That is not true.

However, 100s of garden variery viruses, bacteria, infections will cause the exact same symptoms as primary HIV infection. Initial HIV symptoms are non-specific.

OP, when you are worried about possible HIV infection, you read everything you can and believe nothing but the worst. You will also develop every single symptom that is listed as possibly being HIV related. Your mind is working overtime and psychological factors can and do bring on physiological attributes.

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

Chances are much higher that the bar girl who said this was one of his spurned conquests and is now spreading rumours about him.

But as said above, go to your doctor, outline your fears and get yourself tested.

Completely Agreed.

But little point in going to a doctor. GPs, in general have very little real undertanding of HIV transmission.

Go to an STI specialist for proper consultation.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2010/0615/gardai.html

Ms Justice Irvine also found that the knowledge of GPs in relation to Hepatitis B and C and HIV may still be significantly less than that of specialist consultants

Miguel_Sanchez

Uriel. wrote: »

That is not true.

You're right. Apologies for that - thought first symptoms didn't appear for 2 months but I was wrong.

grrrrrrrrrr

Just try to be positive

Drops of Jupiter

Hi OP,

I feel really bad for you -it sounds like you are truly freaked! As the other poster have suggested I am sure the chances of you catching HIV from this guy through oral sex is minute! You don't even if know he actually is a HIV carrier - it could all be a nasty rumour.

I remember reading up on HIV a while ago and it can be harder to transmit than people realise in some cases, not all. They have been reports of people who have openly slept with HIV+ postive partners (unprotected) on numerous occasions and not developed the virus. On the other hand someone else could sleep with someone one time and become infected, so it's never worth taking the risk!

Were you abroad for your holiday? I find that after flights I always develop flu like symptoms. The bad air and germs being circulated. Also, a lot of time I come back wrecked and run down from holidays due to late nights, drinking everyday etc.

You have practically convinced yourself you have the virus so are over analyzing all "the symtoms". Stop looking at the internet or you will drive yourself crazy. I could log onto some sites now and diagnose myself with loads of illnesses I didn't even know existed. It can be very auto suggestive the whole process.

I know you probably won't rest until you get your tests done but try and put it to the back of your mind as much as you can - easier said then done I know. Hopefully you will be fine and best of luck.

Drops of Jupiter

grrrrrrrrrr wrote: »

Just try to be positive

Bad taste!

Drops of Jupiter

Hi again OP,

As other posters have suggested take a visit to the GP. If you don't feel comfortable doing that take a trip to the Well Woman clinic -loads around Dublin. They often have female doctors who are very understanding. Don't be embarrassed to tell them what happened and your fears. They have heard it all and a lot worse! They might put your mind at ease.

kjl

Uriel. wrote: »

But little point in going to a doctor. GPs, in general have very little real undertanding of HIV transmission.

Wow, massive generalisation there, GP's can do blood tests for HIV and have the answer for you before the end of the day. Maybe your GP is not that good but most are.

Uriel.

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

You're right. Apologies for that - thought first symptoms didn't appear for 2 months but I was wrong.

No worries at all.

Either way the symptoms the OP is experiencing is are typical of having increased psychological stress. Most people who fear possible HIV infection from a particular incident end up convincing themselves they have been infected - even where common sense shows it is extremely unlikely and in a lot of cases just down right impossible.

Lack of education and awareness is the biggest problem unfortunately. Just take a look at the link I posted above.

Uriel.

kjl wrote: »

Wow, massive generalisation there, GP's can do blood tests for HIV and have the answer for you before the end of the day. Maybe your GP is not that good but most are.

Ahem...mmmmm
hence the "in general" part of my post.

If you're idea of a doctor having good knowledge of a subject matter is their ability to send blood tests to a lab then I have to seriously question your idea of expertise.

There is soooo much more that goes with dealing with people who are fearful of picking up an STI. I could write for a looong time about the issues involved. But in short, the expert knowledge of the care provider will directly impact on how the patient manages their health concern and/or treatment (shoudl there be an issue).

You seem to lack the understanding that people like the OP (and those who have significant exposures) need much more care than simply getting blood drawn from their arm.

PS. most people presenting themselves to GPs with fears of HIV infection will not get a result of a blood test by the end of the day.

Silverfish

grrrrrrrrrr wrote: »

Just try to be positive

Banned for a week.

mood

Get tested to put you mind at rest. Best go to a specialist clinic I would think if that's possible. Remember there are other STD that can be caught that way.