Need a way out

LegacyUser

I just can't take it anymore. I've been single my whole life and after so many years of trying to ignore it, it's starting to affect other aspects of my life. All the anger and frustration of not knowing what im doing wrong, whether it's my looks, social skills or whatever. All the negative feelings this situation is bringing me can't be helping either. Im just so damn tired of it all. Tired of the bull**** lies people tell you like oh "just wait and something will happen" or "be more confident". Things dont work like that. Maybe some get lucky but others dont this way and theres a lot more of out there who are lonely and miserable than you think. We just dont go around shouting to the world about our shame. Ive never told anyone about my situation but that doesnt mean I havnt heard of others who are miserably lonely in their later years.

It just feels like theres no way out no matter what I try. I have good friends and an okay life but being constantly single is killing me inside. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs or punch something until all this pain becomes exhaustion. Im only in my 20s and theres still a chance for me, but not if I dont know what im doing wrong. And I really dont know what to do. I just feel like lying here on the couch and never moving again because it all feels so pointless. Life is all about relationships (whether they be friendship or more)and what kind of a life is it if you are missing out on the most special and intimate type of relationship there is? I just want to experience what it's like to have a girl look at you with that special look and a warm smile and fall into my arms. Ive almost lost hope of it ever happening as I dont know what to change.

At this stage Ill do almost whatever it takes. I say almost because I refuse to date women I am not attracted to or see a prostitute (the thought of having to pay money for something most people can get for free makes me sad). Ill do what it takes, I just need to know what it is. I just want a way out

forest gunner

Hi OP,
Well I havent got advice for you but I can relate to what youre going through.
Probably unlike you though, Im too shy and lack self belief to approach women. You know the usual line "Be Yourself", well it hasnt worked too well so far. Im in my mid 20s and I fear being alone going into m 40s and I also would not settle for someone that I just had no chemistry with.

Maybe you are shy, I dont know, I doubt its anything to do with looks though because a strong, bubbly personality will overcome any weaknesses in the looks dept.
Anyway, grab the bull by the horns and believe in yourself and best of luck

Sparki

Hi OP, can understand your frustration. Its never easy being single especially if it is for a long period of time, but im not going to bullsh**t you and say "when you least expect it....bla bla bla"


Basically, what are you doing about it?? Do you go to social places: bars, night classes, night clubs, extra activities? Have you approached a woman and asked her on a date, maybe you are too shy i dont know but it seems to me if you are os unhappy with your current situation you should be doing everything you can to meet someone and taking every opportunity to socialize.
From a female perspective, i think most women would be delighted to be asked for their number or asked out on a date after meeting someone. The worst that can happen is that you are rejected, and hey its all experience so why not. Hope this helps

Nulty

Sparki wrote: »

Hi OP, can understand your frustration. Its never easy being single especially if it is for a long period of time, but im not going to bullsh**t you and say "when you least expect it....bla bla bla"


Basically, what are you doing about it?? Do you go to social places: bars, night classes, night clubs, extra activities? Have you approached a woman and asked her on a date, maybe you are too shy i dont know but it seems to me if you are os unhappy with your current situation you should be doing everything you can to meet someone and taking every opportunity to socialize.
From a female perspective, i think most women would be delighted to be asked for their number or asked out on a date after meeting someone. The worst that can happen is that you are rejected, and hey its all experience so why not. Hope this helps

^^^^This is the solution to your problems, or at least in roads^^^^

LegacyUser

Hey OP here. Im a very social person and have a lot of friends from the many activities I do. I'm not afraid to go up and start talking to people unless I am interested in them. I must act differently around them without realising it because I dont get the usual warm reaction. I read up on some of that pick up artist stuff and a lot of it seems to make sense but it makes things seem so unnatural and complex and I feel like I have to behave a certain way to get a girl interested.


My usual social activites are sports or nerdy things (I'm not a big fan of nightclubs but I enjoy parties) and so almost all of my friends are guys (went to an all boys school aswell so my experience with the opposite sex is pretty non existent). Only 2 of them know about how I cant get a girl to save my life and telling them was a bad idea because they were no help. I wouldnt have a problem asking a girl out if they seemed interested in me but it seems the ones I am interested in are impossible to talk to. I must be doing something wrong because it becomes like trying to talk to a brick wall. The annoying thing is I seem if I am not interested in a girl then they tend to like me or are attracted to me. Its pretty damn frustrating. I probably do get a bit shy around girls I like and dont have the usual conversation because I feel like she will think I am hitting on her.

It all feels so weird cause I have no experience to compare it to.