Moving out of home

LegacyUser

To start, I am female, 24 years old and just got a new job (1 year contract).
I still live at home with my parents. I live in Dublin and never moved out for college because I could drive there easily. After my finals I did move into a house with some girls for the summer but they were such awful bullies I moved back home and stayed put til I went to Australia for a year when I was 23. I rented an apartment there and found dealing with housemates tough, dealing with other people's filth, loud sex, parties, etc..

Anyway I came back in November and got a new job a month ago.
The job is long-term and the pay is decent and I know that I am at the age now where I should move out permanently. The problem is, I'm not sure if I want to. I would never live with housemates again, if I was to move out it would be to a 1 bed apartment and to be honest, I actually like living with my parents. They are easy going, they know me so well and we just get on well. Plus, I save an awful lot of money from contributing to my parent's household than I would if I moved out- I am saving for a new car and it is so much easier to do living here.

At the same time, I know I should be moved out by now. I know I am costing my parents money (they won't take more than 50 euro a week from me), and I know that all my friends from the country moved out when they were 17! Having said that, most of my friends from Dublin still live at home so it's not so abnormal up here.
I can see the benefits of moving out. I can have a boyfriend over without having to introduce him to my parents, all sorts of things. I worry that I will not mature as well as I should if I am still living with my parents. I guess it's just a mixture of being happy here with them, and wanting to save cash.
Am I weird? Should I be embarrassed that I still cant cut my mother's apron strings?
Am I just being greedy not wanting to spend my pay cheque on ESB and groceries?

Victor

In the current economic environment, it makes sense to not spend money that you don't have to. And seeing as you seem to have a happy household, there doesn't seem to be much pressure to move out.

It would be useful for you to have experience of living with people other than your parents.

Conclusion, don't jump just yet.

Waternews

If you're not ready to leave, then don't. It sounds like your parents are happy to have you there.

With regard to costing your parents, now that you have a better paying job, you should insist on contributing more.

If you were living in a one bed, estimate 900 per month rent, 400 for food, 200 for utilities - that's 400 a week. You seem to feel bad that you're not paying your way - so point this out to your parents, and pick an amount and just give it to them.

That might make you feel more comfortable in staying at home.

You're lucky if you enjoy living with your family - so make the most of it!

fungun

even if you enjoy living with your family, you will find once you move out it will do your head in if you have to move back!
So yeah, if everyone is happy id see no compelling reason to move out immediately, unless you want to yourself. Plenty of time for living away from home yet!

bibbly

Hi there,

I wouldn't write off the idea of living with house mates, perhaps you found the wrong ones.. You could rent a 2 bed appart for a bit, and sub let one of the rooms, this would mean you could carefully screen house mates until you find one that you really get on with.

But if you do decide to stay at home, I would suggest really saving your money, rent plus expenses can be upwards of 600 per month.. so this would be a good figure to start with.

Build up a nest egg incase you loose your job, or want to go travelling and buy a cheap car, I think ppl are mad who take out 15 grand loans to buy a car when they earn 25k a year..

Also, I was living at home for 2 years while working full time, and I found that apart from contributing 50 quid a week,, its good to do a shop once in a while or buy things for the house.. Or take your folks out for a bite to eat (even pub grub) every second week. They did pay for you all your life after all.. so its no big deal to pay them back a bit..

But if there is no pressure for you to move out,, do what ever you want for now..

qwytre

You really should move out given you are 24.

As you say you are costing your parents money and at at this stage of their lives you should not be.

I fully understand about living with flatmates, I used to do it but after a while you get sick of it. Rent a 1 bed appartment or try to move in with a friend if you can. It would be better to share a palce with a friend than some stranger(s).

You can always stay at home the odd night as you get used to living away from home. But from a maturity point of view, from a non-selfish point of you I think you should move out and live the house to your parents. Look, your parents are nver going to ask you to leave so you will have to make the decision.

If you do decide to stay you really need to give a lot more money to the general expenses of the house. Of course your parents wont want to accept that but again you have to make the decision. You are an adult, earning a wage, so pay your way.

skooterblue

It really depends on what you can afford. I think you are a bit spoiled. Most people have to move out and go to college and work. I think you made some really unlucky decision with previous housemates. I lived with a couple of girls that had allergies to soap and other domestic cleaning products.

If you cant live with other people how will you cope with a bf/ husband and your own family. look at it as character building. I have met some great people house sharing and some down right scumbags and much savages. Remember 1 in 5 is parasite, the good news is they then to live off each other so find a house with the other 4. Either way good luck

tenchi-fan

Generally, I always clash with at least one housemate. I like my space, i share bills, I don't like being nagged, and I like the place to be kept clean. It's only manners but so many people can't follow simple rules.

If you are sharing I recommend you rent a house with 2 living rooms (or a kitchen with tv and one sitting room) and your own private bathroom.. big deal if it costs an extra €150 or so a month, it would be worth it! You should also get a little fridge for your own room.

In this economic climate there is no reason you should feel the need to sign a 6 or 12 month lease. Pay month-by-month. If it doesn't work out, give your notice straight away and live somewhere else.

If you get on well living at home I suggest you just save like mad for a full year. When you get a permanent job it would be nice to have a deposit saved.

dedrizzle

you sound happy:) so why not stay a while longer..
plus you'd save a bit of money.. What you could do aswell, is stay at home but keep an eye on daft..
I really think you should steer clear of moving in on your own.. If your anything like me you would be really lonely.. I think you can live with people, you just have to find the right people.. To avoid the problems you had before with house sharing, I'd stick to a place that has a max of 3 people living there (inc you) and that are similar, i.e. working etc..

StillWaters

coca-cola wrote: »

I know I am costing my parents money (they won't take more than 50 euro a week from me)

Nab the next ESB/phone/oil bill from them and set up a DD from your account to pay it. Get them a voucher for Dunnes/Tesco/weekend away.

Nothing wrong with living at home I suppose, but at least pay your way.

R.D. aka MR.D

I don’t think you should feel bad at all.

However, you might consider that your missing out on some important life lessons that maybe in the future when your parents aren’t around you might have trouble dealing with.

But in my opinion I would kill to be able to live at home again from the point of view of having a washing machine/dishwasher/central heating/pets so I say that if your comfortable then do what you want. I’m sure your parents are happy to have you there if not they probably would be dropping big hints etc in the way that only parents can.

LegacyUser

stay at home - sounds like you are happy with the arrangement and so are your parents, so dont feel pressured to move out because you think that society deems you should. There are plenty of people your age still living at home due to the recession, cost of moving out etc...

As for life experience, well you've moved out before and you travelled to Oz, so its not like you're too immature to look after yourself. You're just happier as you are now - no big deal, you have plenty of time to live on your own in the years ahead. Save up some money so when the time comes, you'll have enough to move out comfortably and not have to share if thats not your thing.

If you feel bad about your parents not taking more money, well you can always help out in other ways e.g. - do the shopping some weeks and pay for it, take them out for a meal or even bring home takeout, grab the ntl bill and go pay it, buy them a nice bottle of wine every so often etc.....they cant refuse things like that cos you'll already have it done by the time they find out about it