are things over with my boyfriend?

LegacyUser

I am with my bf 3 years. We're 22 and 23, I love him a lot and i dont want things to end but the way I behave sometimes makes me think on some levels I do.

I am working away from him at the moment so wont see him for 5wks. but for the most part our relationship has been kinda long distance ie only see each other at the weekend.

I love him and I love being with him but I feel very attracted to other guys to and the single life. I am prob just thinkin the grass is greener?

We've yr visas to d USA maybe living together wil decide the out come? I am hoping things will get better, that I will see how good I have it but am i lying to myself? It would be difficult to break up now, between flights and visas and acc we've spent a lot. Also I know I would be very sad.

Am i missing out on things or am I being stupid? I am so conflicted, I want to be single and experience new guys (not even sex just new people) but I also dont want to break up with me bf

m@cc@

is it over wrote: »

I love him and I love being with him but I feel very attracted to other guys to and the single life. I am prob just thinkin the grass is greener?

We've yr visas to d USA maybe living together wil decide the out come? I am hoping things will get better, that I will see how good I have it but am i lying to myself? It would be difficult to break up now, between flights and visas and acc we've spent a lot. Also I know I would be very sad.

Am i missing out on things or am I being stupid? I am so conflicted, I want to be single and experience new guys (not even sex just new people) but I also dont want to break up with me bf

Hi OP, wanting a single life whilst in a relationship is not a new phenomenon and doesn't necessarily mean you guys are finished.

Can you give more information on your situation? What are the problems in the relationship?

What I'm getting from your post is that you guys are stuck in a routine and you're looking for excitement.

Taltos

OP here's the thing.

Attraction: Even when married for 10 yrs you will still be attracted to other people. Its just the way many of us are wired.

However - let me quote 3 things you said in between the text speak.

I am with my bf 3 years. We're 22 and 23, I love him a lot and i dont want things to end but the way I behave sometimes makes me think on some levels I do.

I feel very attracted to other guys to and the single life.

I want to be single and experience new guys

It would be difficult to break up now, between flights and visas and acc we've spent a lot.

See - you have answered it above - you want to be single and experience new guys - whatever the hell that means. Do you even know what you mean here?

However - you are used to being with him - and say you don't want to break up - but what instead jumped out at me is that right now it would be too messy to your plans...
I think you owe it to him to at least know how you are feeling. Maybe try talking to him or just end it outright - but at least let him know you have having doubts. It could just be that both of you are no longer working towards making the relationship work anymore and need to refocus...

dublingal80

i had a friend like you who was with her boyfriend for 3 years, loved him but was attracted to otherguys. would cheat on him, then break up with him and then get back together. it wasnt until he broke up with her and wouldnt take her back that she realised what a mistake that was. that was 5 years ago and she still isnt over him

Personally if I was in your situation and I didnt know how i felt and if i had the chance of going away to the usa id do it. You said you dont see eachother much, so its hard to know how well you actually get on. I think a change of scenary and seeing eachother every day will definitely let you know whether you want to be with him or not.

Good Advice

i tink the only way to know if you want this relationship is yes to go to the USA and it will be the making or breaking of the relationship and who knows you could realise he is the one for you and have great fun over there...and you said you want to be single to experience new ppl and not on the sex side of tings, well you dont have to be single to meet new friends etc..you'll experience this wen your away with your boyfriend...:o)

Silverfish

Good advice, please do not use text speak in this forum.

Good Advice

oh sorry

seamus

It's normal enough to experience this "fear" when you're a couple of years into a new relationship, and particularly when you're young. You feel somehow "held back" by being in a relationship and that there are so many things that you want to experience and somehow you're not free to do these things because you're in a relationship.

Yes, it is normal at your age, especially if all or most of your friends are single.

Breaking up can work, and it can work out OK. You can both go "find" yourselves and come back to eachother, with a bond even stronger than it was before. But it can also go the other way and the relationship will be lost forever. Whichever way it goes, it's painful and horrible while you're in it and can mess with your head.

I think the above advice is good - try out living together in the USA.