Online dating etiquette

LegacyUser

Hi all, probably been asked before but didn't see anything. Anyway decided recently enough to give online dating a go. So far I've gone on two dates, one was a really good night, just didn't feel a connection other than friends, other no connection whatsoever despite really hitting it off on-line. Didn't phase me though as I don't live in some fantasy land where chatting online equates to real life, I am aware there's a big difference between the two.

For both of those dates I'd just chatted to the one person for a week or so before meeting. Felt it would be a bit confusing (and time consuming) to chat with more than one girl at a time really.

Anyway decided now best way to approach it is to chat to a few girls, if we get on well met up and see how it goes, in other words not putting all my eggs in one basket as until you met someone you're not going to know it you hit it off.

So for the last week I've been doing that. Now the thing is I've been chatting with a couple of girls, all seem really sound and they've all asked me to met. Don't want to do a back to back thing as think that would just be too much and too confusing. Instead maybe space it out with at least 3 days in between? Would feel like a conveyor belt otherwise!

So ok I go on the first date, hit it off and she asks to meet again. Alright I'd like to meet again but think one date is far too early to know how things are going to go so it would be a bit premature to be cancelling other dates. If I met a girl once and she told me she had cancelled any subsequent dates she might have on think I might feel a little uncomfortable.

Looking for both girls and blokes perspectives. Just not sure if there's a moral dilemma involved. If I met a girl, get on really well and arrange to meet again, then go ahead and met another girl I was also chatting to to see what she's like would you consider that to be ok?

Never dated more than one girl at a time, and not sure if this could even be viewed as that. Also not sure if I should even mention I'm going on a date this week with the girl who asked to met next week. I know, none of her business and she hasn't asked, just seems to feel a little underhand. I've never in my life seen more than one girl at a time. Up until now I've always met girlfriends through mates, nights out etc so never even had to think about it so not entirely sure how to think about it.

Ok, maybe a bit confused!

Any views welcome thanks

mariaalice

use to happen to me all the time and it is a bit confusing ...the only thing to do is be honest and tell someone if you meeting them for a second date..that you are meeting up with other women that you have arranged dates with and that you are still on line...always always be honest in your dealing with women you meet...dont be surprised if you get a negative reaction...a lot of women take it as read that if you agree to a second date then you dont go on any other dates ....

magneticimpulse

Ive met people back to back, in the same day/night. Only problem was I had obvisously been in different bars for subsequent dates...but ended up in the 1st bar...with the last date...people in the bar were looking at me...as they were the same people and i had same clothes on but with a different man. Needless to say it felt great and like something out of New York.

I hear so many people on here saying why is Ireland not more like America for dating. I always tell my dates before hand, that if we dont get on for a relationship...at least we prob work out as friends. Ive never had a problem. Its just a 1st date.

Once you are not sleeping with anyone...i think there is no harm is meeting lots of people for a drink to find the right match for you. Its just like college days all over again...hanging out with new people. If you find one great, if not theres always the next date. No need to feel guilty about it.

But dont tell the date about multiple dates. Once a guy was too honest with me. He said he had 3 dates that week. I was the 2nd, the 1st was like a man...and he said dont worry...your doing brillant so far. After the 3rd woman, he said sorry he was dating her...so dont be too honest (no need to be). If he had just said nothing at all, I would have felt better...and it made the date go downhill, as he had even cooked me dinner etc. But that just killed the atmosphere.

MRBEAVER

It can get a bit confusing. I wouldn't mention other dates unless specifically asked. if I were to meet someone though for a second date I would put any more on hold till I knew whether it was going towards a relationship.

LegacyUser

OP again, @ MR Beaver. yeah was thinking that would be the best approach. By nature I'm extremely open and have got myself into unnecessary trouble in the past just by being too honest. Opening a can of worms so to speak.

Think to keep things simple unless asked I won't mention any other dates. If I meet a girl I really like and we go on a second date which goes well then I'll leave off any other arranged dates. Just too confusing and messy otherwise.