Joined at the hip?

LegacyUser

Okay, going unreg for this.

One problem that has been bugging me lately is that my OH wants to see me everyday. We're nearly a year together soon, and I don't think we've spent any more than 2 days away from each other. Every time there's a chance I'm not able to meet up, she becomes upset and just gets down. I don't know what to do?

It might sound selfish but I'd like some alone time too. It's hard meeting up each day because neither of us have cars, we have to rely on lifts home or else walk each other halfway. It sounds like we're both 13 and very childish but we're not.

Example - I buy a game and play it the following day. She texts me asking to meet up and I say that I'll be a while, but she gets in a bad mood.


I really don't know what to do. I do love her and it's going great but I think I'd like some alone time.. am I being selfish?

m@cc@

tired... wrote: »

Okay, going unreg for this.

One problem that has been bugging me lately is that my OH wants to see me everyday. We're nearly a year together soon, and I don't think we've spent any more than 2 days away from each other. Every time there's a chance I'm not able to meet up, she becomes upset and just gets down. I don't know what to do?

It might sound selfish but I'd like some alone time too. It's hard meeting up each day because neither of us have cars, we have to rely on lifts home or else walk each other halfway. It sounds like we're both 13 and very childish but we're not.

Example - I buy a game and play it the following day. She texts me asking to meet up and I say that I'll be a while, but she gets in a bad mood.


I really don't know what to do. I do love her and it's going great but I think I'd like some alone time.. am I being selfish?

Does she have any interests/friends outside of you? I don't think it's that unreasonable to want to see you every couple of days but to take a huff because you have something on is a little bit childish.

Contessa Raven

Hi OP,

Of course you aren't being selfish! Most couples will need time away from each other at some stage. I think she's probably still in the "isn't everything wonderful" stage where you still spend every day together. Of course that's a pain in the a** when you aren't in that phase.

You have to tell her straight out "I love you, I really do but I need time on my own."
It isn't healthy imo to spend all your time together. It's interesting for a couple to meet up after a few days apart and have loads of different things to talk about. Also, many people have hobbies that they enjoy and it's healthy to dedicate time to them.

I think you just need to explain firmly that it's unhealthy for you to spend all your time together and that it's having a negative effect on your wellbeing.

CR

Ickle Magoo

Getting upset because you don't want to be in her company at every opportunity smacks of controlling emotional blackmail to me.

You have to sit her down and let her know you are very unhappy with the status quo and her reaction to you wanting time off and that things must change if your relationship is going to last. Spell out your basic wants/needs/expectations and boundaries if the relationship is going to survive and let her decide if she can live with that arrangement.

Best of luck.