Being Too Much Of A Nice Guy

MonTheBiffy

Hi guys and girls, I have always considered myself a nice guy, funny, kind, can have a laugh and all that always thinking about how other people feel but sometimes i think dammit am I being too nice? I mean people always come to me with their problems and I end up getting involved and wrecking my own head. I never get mad with people even though I easily could but I just think about their feelings first. My girlfriend is great but lately my mind keeps thinking about breaking up and moving on. I hate to say it but Im getting bored and feel really restricted. She is really attached to me borderlining on love I think but I just cant bring myself to break her heart. Its causing me untold stress and I feel I have no one to turn to as Im always the one people come to. Im only 18. Advice/assurance/encouragement/criticism all welcome. Thanks in advance guys.

wonderfulname

MonTheBiffy wrote: »

..can have a laugh and all that always thinking about how other people feel but sometimes i think dammit am I being too nice? I mean people always come to me with their problems and I end up getting involved and wrecking my own head..

Wow thats me down to a tee, know exactly how you feel, regarding your girlfriend though, you don't mention how you feel about her, just that you want to break up and move on. How do you feel about her? If i were you that's what I would base any decision on, if you care about your relationship work it out, if you think it really has run its course then I'm afraid it seems it has, and breaking up would save a lot of heartache.

MonTheBiffy

Well I really like her obviously or else I wouldnt be with her but sometimes I just feel Im young and I should be free out enjoying myself but I find myself minding her and drying her tears anytime were out together. She has said she loves me (admittedly she was tipsy at the time but does that not make her more honest and open?) and I told her its way too early for me to feel the same (only been like 4 months). I hate the fact I've done this again it seems any girl I'm ever with gets really attached. Im not cocky but Im fairly good looking and with this 'nice guy' tag I can see why Im attractive but jesus I cant take it sometimes. She knows Im too young to know if I love her and maybe its just the pressure getting to me I dunno.....I suppose thats why im here

LegacyUser

Break up with her.
I've been that girl.
I'm way older than you now OP. This whole 'nice guy' thing, is crap. Excuse me for being so harsh. Leave the girl alone and let her find a bloke who deserves her.
And then you go out and find someone who deserves you.

wonderfulname

MonTheBiffy wrote: »

Well I really like her obviously or else I wouldnt be with her but sometimes I just feel Im young and I should be free out enjoying myself but I find myself minding her and drying her tears anytime were out together. She has said she loves me (admittedly she was tipsy at the time but does that not make her more honest and open?) and I told her its way too early for me to feel the same (only been like 4 months). I hate the fact I've done this again it seems any girl I'm ever with gets really attached. Im not cocky but Im fairly good looking and with this 'nice guy' tag I can see why Im attractive but jesus I cant take it sometimes. She knows Im too young to know if I love her and maybe its just the pressure getting to me I dunno.....I suppose thats why im here

To be honest your not too young to know. I really was exactly like you a few years back, I'd find myself in a relationship a few months down the line thinking everything was pretty laid back and find suddenly that this person I had thought was just close was actually infatuated beyond what I could deal with, it caused a lot of heartache. Talk with your girlfriend, regardless of whether its to attempt to mend things or to explain your reasons for leaving, she deserves to know. I'm not going to tell you which i think you should do, its all up to how strongly you feel for her.

MonTheBiffy

Unregistered wrote: »

Break up with her.
I've been that girl.
I'm way older than you now OP. This whole 'nice guy' thing, is crap. Excuse me for being so harsh. Leave the girl alone and let her find a bloke who deserves her.
And then you go out and find someone who deserves you.

Crap? Please explain. Honestly Im not insulted. And I dont get the 'deserves' part? Thanks for the input too

LegacyUser

You said 'hate to say it but Im getting bored and feel really restricted'. 'She's really attached to me...'
That's what I mean by crap.
Just break up with her. Don't make out that this girl is stuck to you and you have no idea how this happened. You've already said that you are too much of a nice guy. This girl likes you BECAUSE you are a nice guy.
If you're really NOT a nice guy, this girl deserves better. You haven't been honest with her, or with yourself.
And you deserve to be the person you really are.

I'm sure you actually ARE a nice guy and when I said you should find someone who deserves you, I meant it. She's just not the one for you OP.

wonderfulname

Unregistered wrote: »

Break up with her.
I've been that girl.
I'm way older than you now OP. This whole 'nice guy' thing, is crap. Excuse me for being so harsh. Leave the girl alone and let her find a bloke who deserves her.
And then you go out and find someone who deserves you.

Ouch, seriously give the poor guy a break, hes not your ex and theres obviously a lot he hasn't said.

PhysiologyRocks

OP, I think being nice is a good thing.

However, staying with someone you don't want to be with is not the kindest thing you could do.

In the long run, it's better for both of you if you break up with her (that is, if you're sure you don't want to be with her).

MonTheBiffy

I said 'THINKING ABOUT' i never said I was going to for definite. Jesus! I often think about things! I think about going mental and kicking the sh*t out of the d*ck who p*sses me off but do I do it?! No! This whole thing of being honest is rubbish frankly! Everybody mulls things over in their heads!

See I said I could get mad :pac:

wonderfulname

MonTheBiffy wrote: »

I said 'THINKING ABOUT' i never said I was going to for definite. Jesus! I often think about things! I think about going mental and kicking the sh*t out of the d*ck who p*sses me off but do I do it?! No! This whole thing of being honest is rubbish frankly! Everybody mulls things over in their heads!

See I said I could get mad :pac:

Chill man
Honesty is not rubbish, I'll say it again you have two options;

1) Decide you want to stay with your girlfriend. Talk to her about whats troubling you in the relationship so it can be resolved.

2) Decide you want to leave her. Tell her why you are doing so but in a sensitive manner, girls who are left to formulate their own reasons as to why relationships failed can come up with some pretty bad stuff.

Either way you have to be honest. This could be a rough patch it could be end of days I cant decide from your posts which it is so you'll have to.