Diving Straight In

Sasquatch76

Well, that's not entirely true; I've been thinking about smoking, and it's effects on me for many months now and I know I have to stop. I tried a few weeks ago after finally getting around to reading Allen Carr's book. Sadly, I didn't last 24 hours. I'm not knocking "Easy Way" by the way - it works for thousands of people, and many parts of the book made perfect sense to me. Unfortunately, it requires starting in a positive frame of mind. Having recently gone through a bout of clinical depression, that is sometimes hard to achieve.

Essentially, last time out, I think I tried to trick myself into being positive, going through the motions. Hell, I may even have felt positive that Monday morning having smoked my so-called last cigarette the evening before. I survived well enough in work. I actually thought it was easy for that first work day. But once I got to the bus stop on the way home, I just started to panic. Vainly, I tried to think the feeling out, but logic was evading me. The rational thoughts were drowned out by "I just can't do this"... So I bought a pack of 20 and have been smoking full time in the three weeks since.

So here I am again, another Sunday evening, trying to stop smoking. "Try" shouldn't come into it of course (had to resist directly quoting Yoda there), but as I say, a positive mental attitude is tough for me at times. I've re-read the book, listened to the audio cd version, and know that I understand it fully. I've visited Whyquit.com every day, and tried to read this forum inside and out. So what will be different then? Well, in the three weeks since my last failed attempt, I have actually come to some other decisions in my life that are proving positive!

I should give ye all a bit of background first; I'm a 34 year old male and have been smoking since I was 15. I'm a 20 a day man, which is bad enough, but I'm also heavily overweight, and have been since adolescence. Essentially, my life is hanging by a thread. Apologies if that seems overly dramatic, but I'm typing that out for my own benefit as much as anything - it needs to be said. I need to understand just how badly things need to change in my life.

But now, I've started to make some of those changes happen; I've started to exercise. I've changed a few things in my diet (not a major overhaul, but cut out a few things that would make a huge difference). And, in the last three weeks, I've lost 8 lbs. For the first time in a long long time, I actually feel pretty decent about myself. Instead of feeling like I'm depriving myself, I actually feel like I'm being good to myself, and believe me, this makes a very pleasant change. I'm probably being silly, but I'm hoping these small changes can snowball into something amazing.

So here I am, not with a positive feeling about being able to quit, but not with a sense of doom and gloom either... I suppose I feel like this is something that needs to be done whether I like it or not. Oh, I do desperately want to be free of cigarettes, but I guess the fear is still there. A fear of the unknown if you like. But there is something else that wasn't there last time. I can't quite put my finger on it... It's almost like the little voice in my head has shut up for a moment (thank feck), and in it's place there is just a quiet sense of nodding approval! And that's why I chose the title of this thread - I don't know if I am ready, or if the time is right, or if I can do it (sorry Mr Carr!!), but I'm going for it. I don't have a plan other than wanting to be a non-smoker. Hopefully the upturn in my mood can carry me through the next few days/weeks/months etc etc.

Anyway, I'm about to light my last cigarette in a moment, so I'll sign off for now. But I want to thank every poster on this forum. Your dedication, support for each other, and desire to succeed at freeing yourself has me full of admiration and love. The various quit-logs and the feedback therein, is (and again please forgive the dramatics) very touching.

Right. Here it goes. I'll keep you posted!

Sasquatch76

Well, I made it! I survived the first day

And amazingly, it wasn't too bad. Yes, there were lots of pangs for nicotine, but I made myself acknowledge them for what they were, and made sure I didn't blow them up to be anything they weren't. So the pangs, while fairly constant, were just that - a temporary craving which caused nothing worse than mild agitation/restlessness.

There was no major trauma like last time, just a mild discomfort while I thought of smoking, which disappeared when I was thinking about something else.

I started this attempt with cautious optimism. I think I may have to upgrade that assessment slightly. Right, let's see what day 2 brings...

turnsoutIwas

Well done and congratulations.

I am on day 15 myself having gone cold turkey. I can tell you that the cravings werent anything like as bad as I expected. Dont get me wrong, they werent the easiest thing in the world but I really think I have gotten through the worst bit now.

I found that cycling has helped me more than anything else.

Good luck with day two.

Gmol

Sasquatch76 wrote: »

Well, I made it! I survived the first day

And amazingly, it wasn't too bad. Yes, there were lots of pangs for nicotine, but I made myself acknowledge them for what they were, and made sure I didn't blow them up to be anything they weren't. So the pangs, while fairly constant, were just that - a temporary craving which caused nothing worse than mild agitation/restlessness.

There was no major trauma like last time, just a mild discomfort while I thought of smoking, which disappeared when I was thinking about something else.

I started this attempt with cautious optimism. I think I may have to upgrade that assessment slightly. Right, let's see what day 2 brings...

Well done, the first day is the hardest I have been off for 82 days now and it does get easier, it sounds like you are making positve changes re diet and smoking. You will feel a lot better for it over the next few weeks

Sasquatch76

Thanks for the support guys, and well done to both of you!

Today was actually pretty much the same as yesterday; lots of pangs without the huge panic stations I had experienced before. One thing I have noticed though, is that I am absolutely exhausted. All day! Now, I didn't sleep for that long last night which could easily explain it, but just thought I'd mention it... A couple of times I felt myself nodding off in front of the pc in work.

Something that I didn't mention yesterday evening was that I found myself snacking a lot more than I usually would. Thankfully, I stuck to healthy foods, but it's still not an ideal situation. So I re-listened to the relevant sections of the audio book today, and am doing okay in that regard this evening - ie, not making the mistake of trying to "feed" nicotine pangs with actual food.

Anyway, at the moment I am trying to remove the rest of the brainwashing as per Allen Carr's instructions. So far it seems to be going okay; I feel the pangs and cravings, but the sense of deprivation or sacrifice that I'd always had with previous quit attempts, just doesn't seem to be there this time. This is a HUGE bonus for me. I actually feel like I am in control of this attempt, and NOT the monster. And as a result, I am starting to believe that I really can do this

turnsoutIwas

I read somewhere that nicotine helps your body to regulate sugar. When you stop using nicotine your body takes about 3 days to figure out how to do it itself. I would say this is whats causing the crashes you are getting. Drinking fruit juice for the first 3 days is recommended but not after as it is quite fattening.
The other side to this is that your body takes 20 mins to take sugar from food and get it to your blood while nicotine is almost instant. This delay means we keep craving sugar after we need it while we get used to this.

Well done getting through the day.

Sasquatch76

turnsoutIwas wrote: »

I read somewhere that nicotine helps your body to regulate sugar. When you stop using nicotine your body takes about 3 days to figure out how to do it itself. I would say this is whats causing the crashes you are getting. Drinking fruit juice for the first 3 days is recommended but not after as it is quite fattening.
The other side to this is that your body takes 20 mins to take sugar from food and get it to your blood while nicotine is almost instant. This delay means we keep craving sugar after we need it while we get used to this.

Well done getting through the day.

Thanks turnsoutIwas, that would certainly make sense. Today wasn't so bad in the tiredness stakes, but I wasn't in great form at all for the duration. Never felt like actively having a cigarette, but was on a pretty low ebb, especially this evening. I don't know if that's usual, related, or just a coincidence.

Whatever, I'm going to have an early night while I'm still a non-smoker.

Sasquatch76

Well, to my surprise and delight, I'm now five days without cigarettes. Over 120 hours since my final smoke. I'm pretty pleased with that, and while it has been easier than I had feared it would be, I am still extremely cautious.

I need to talk out a few things here, and all feedback would be very welcome!

Essentially, Allen Carr's "Easy Way" has indeed been relatively easy for me. Last Sunday night, I didn't think I was anywhere near the right frame of mind for a proper quit, but during this week I have at no real point been in danger of slipping.

Now, I have had cravings a plenty. Some evenings seem to be just one long craving for a smoke. But I think they are the actual physical cravings for nicotine and not the psychological cravings for my crutch/prop/friend etc. Now the physical cravings are easy to deal with - they're no worse than hunger pangs, so mild that they don't wake us when we are asleep.

The psychological cravings however, have been tougher. This is as expected, as (according to Carr) it's the brainwashing that comprises 90% of the smoking issue. I'm getting worried about these now, as instead of diminishing, they seem to be increasing. That is, earlier in the week when I had a craving caused by a trigger (after dinner eg), I was able to think it out logically and it would go away.

Later in the week however, they've been stronger, and I haven't really been able to think it through, or talk myself into believing that it is just a symptom of the nicotine leaving my body. I've found myself thinking negatively about my decision to stop (which is a huge no-no, obviously), but I can't help it. It's gotten to the point that when I have a trigger go off, instead of acknowledging it as I'm supposed to, and talk myself through it logically, I find it easier to just do something else completely to take my mind off it.

I'm trying to convince myself now that these are the last desperate actions of the nicotine monster. Is it normal for the psychological cravings to increase? I thought (or rather, hoped) that I would be over the worst of it, but today has been pretty much the hardest day so far. Having said all that, I'm still a non-smoker!

Actually, this entire post is a bit of a mindless ramble. Sorry folks - just needed to get some thoughts of mine "out there".

turnsoutIwas

Good stuff. Keep talking it out-takes the power out of it all and it's how meetings help addicts to recover from anything.
Your craving situation mirrors my own. I think it's the same for everybody. mine have got so small now that I am begining to relax about it all. Been drinking a bunch of times and although it entered my head to smoke, I never came close to it. I had one strong craving yesterday when I got off the gobus to Galway. This was my first long journey since I stopped and the lighting up reflex was there but I just laughed at myself and let that one go too and I don't think I'll have that one again now.

Anyway best of luck with the weekend. You're well on the way now.

Sasquatch76

Thanks man, I do appreciate the feedback And congratulations on your own success by the way - I forget to say that sometimes, being so preoccupied with my own quitting. But without people like yourself for support and advice, I'd be finding this far, far tougher!

Yeah, the triggers seem to be the kickers now. The physical cravings are very mild indeed. But the psychological triggers are tough. Sadly for me, they go off pretty much everytime I sit in front of a PC lol. However, I just had a great day today - the triggers that had been seemingly getting worse, were few and far between.

So I'm feeling very positive again! And what's more, in a mere matter of minutes, I will be celebrating my one week anniversary But I couldn't have done it without all the great people on this forum, so thanks everyone!

CiaranC

Well done mate!

Im about 12 hours in myself. I quit once before, went cold turkey and stayed off them for 6 years. Now back on them 3 years and here goes my second attempt to quit

Sasquatch76

Nice one Ciaran - if you've done it before, you know you can do it again!

Orion

I assume from the silence that you've made that first week. So here's to week 2

Great first post - I saw myself in there. Keep us posted.

Sasquatch76

Macros42 wrote: »

I assume from the silence that you've made that first week. So here's to week 2

Great first post - I saw myself in there. Keep us posted.

Thanks Mac, I have to admit that I drew a lot of inspiration from your own quitlog.

And yep, I'm into my second week now and (generally) feel great. My main cause of annoyance at the moment is not the nicotine withdrawals, nor the psychological cravings. No, instead it's the people in work who are making stupid comments because I've been able to quit. One guy said, "If you gave em up that easy, you mustn't have been really addicted". :rolleyes: It's amazing how begrudging some people can be.

So thank feck for this forum where the support and advice are top notch!

turnsoutIwas

I've been finding smokers are almost jealous...not quite the right word but kinda. Non smokers dont have a clue what you've done. But ex-smokers get it.

Well done getting this far. I know how worried you were but here ya are and that's the hardest thing.

My sense of smell is getting crazy now. Was cycling to work this morning along the coast and could smell the sea and it brought back memories of being a kid. I havent had any kinda sense of smell for that long.

I cant understand what the hell I was doing all that time.

CiaranC

turnsoutIwas wrote: »

I've been finding smokers are almost jealous...not quite the right word but kinda. Non smokers dont have a clue what you've done. But ex-smokers get it.

Its not jealousy, its low-key spite, I used to do it myself I used to get pissed off no end when someone left the club.

Day three for me now, cravings are becoming less. Im eating like theres no tomorrow though, any tips on how to stop?

turnsoutIwas

Well done for getting this far.

They say to drink fruit juice for sugar cravings-but its quite fattening so only for a few days. Bear in mind it takes 20 mins for sugar from food to hit your blood while you're used to instant hit from nicoteen. Mandarins and bananas are great too.

Have a read of whyquit.com explains all of it there.

Sasquatch76

Hope everyone is still going strong?!

Had a weird few days myself as I injured my hand in work. Probably just a sprain, but will go for an x-ray on Monday if it hasn't improved. Anyway, was feeling very sorry for myself last night, and at several times thought "I'd love a cigarette". Funny/odd thing is, that even though I've had that thought multiple times over the past 24 hours, it never went beyond that, ie, it never became anything more than a passing/fleeting notion. I wasn't even telling myself that I was being silly, that the cigarette wouldn't make my hand better, wouldn't make me feel better... the thoughts just passed.

I also had the first smoking related dream (well, first that I can remember at any rate) since stopping. I was sitting at my PC (where I did a lot of my smoking), when suddenly I noticed that I had one in my mouth and was puffing away. I distinctly remember thinking in the dream, "I don't remember lighting this... Allen Carr was right about the majority of cigs being smoked without even being thought about".

Then I remembered that I had actually quit, and proceeded to put out the cigarette and tear up the last few in the packet. Now, I've heard/read ex smokers say that when they dream about smoking, it's usually a bad dream, and that they're quite relieved when they wake up, delighted that they're still a non-smoker. In my case though, I was pretty apathetic about the whole thing. In fact, while I'm glad to be off them, I don't feel the absolute delight at being free that many ex smokers feel.

Then again, nor do I feel the misery and sense of being deprived that other quitters feel. Maybe because I found it (so far) relatively easy to stop, that I don't feel like it's an achievement worth celebrating? Apart from the aborted attempt a few weeks ago, I've never made a real attempt to quit before. So maybe because I've never felt the real sense of guilt that many quitters feel when they've been off them a while only to fall into the trap again, or the desperation and frustration that comes from unsuccessful attempts to stop, I haven't experienced the low points to be able to fully appreciate and enjoy being off them now?

Tis a weird one. And it's completely possible that I'm a muppet who's over analyzing things. Anyway, main thing is I'm still off them. And, I can definitely claim that cigarettes and the act of smoking, are no longer the things I think about most Hope you're all doing well yourselves!

Sasquatch76

Two weeks freedom as of tonight. Celebrating with an attempt at jogging in the morning

dolliemix

Just came across this thread now.

Well done to you! You are doing so well!

Delighted to see you're taking up the jogging. It helped me hugely! I'm off 6 months now and built myself from barely being able to run for 60 seconds to jogging 10k in that time. (I've lost 2 stone as well!)

Your attitude is wonderful and I'm really enjoying reading this thread.

Good luck with the jogging tomorrow

CiaranC

Off them over a week now myself. Spent the whole weekend in the pub and didnt smoke.

Im not finding it very difficult at all.

Sasquatch76

Well played Ciaran! Long may it continue.

Thanks dolliemix, although the jogging hasn't happened yet... carrying a slight injury at the moment.

Still free from the weed though, and have convinced my sister to give the Carr book a go too

turnsoutIwas

Sasquatch76 wrote: »

Well played Ciaran! Long may it continue.

Thanks dolliemix, although the jogging hasn't happened yet... carrying a slight injury at the moment.

Still free from the weed though, and have convinced my sister to give the Carr book a go too

Glad to hear you're doing so well man. I hope you're at the stage now where its just getting easier and easier.

dolliemix

The non smoking is the main thing! Everything else can happen later on. Hope the injury isn't too bad though!

Well done again!

Sasquatch76

turnsoutIwas wrote: »

Glad to hear you're doing so well man. I hope you're at the stage now where its just getting easier and easier.

Funnily enough, I've had a really crappy few days. Work has been abysmal, a close friend has really let me down, and I'm carrying a few knocks that are preventing me going to the next level of my self-improvement, ie exercise. And despite all that, I did find it easier this week than last

dolliemix wrote: »

The non smoking is the main thing! Everything else can happen later on. Hope the injury isn't too bad though!

Well done again!

Ta dollie. Just inflammation of the fascia at the ball of my right foot. I've had it before, and is quite common in overweight peeps. It's very painful when I've been on my feet for a while, but I'm off to the doctor tomorrow, so whatever she prescribes should clear it up in a few days

dolliemix

Sasquatch76 wrote: »

Ta dollie. Just inflammation of the fascia at the ball of my right foot. I've had it before, and is quite common in overweight peeps. It's very painful when I've been on my feet for a while, but I'm off to the doctor tomorrow, so whatever she prescribes should clear it up in a few days

Is that like plantar fascitis? I had that before. I was in agony with it!

Spending a fortune on proper supporting runners is what works for me!

Sasquatch76

dolliemix wrote: »

Is that like plantar fascitis? I had that before. I was in agony with it!

Spending a fortune on proper supporting runners is what works for me!

Yep, that's exactly it! I had it before, about five years ago, and the anti-inflammatories I got from Beaumount A&E (at the time I thought I had broken a bone in my foot, it was so sore) cleared it up in a few days. Good runners would of course help me too, but both times I've had it, it coincided with landing very, VERY heavily on my foot (I'm 21 stone).

Sasquatch76

Three weeks free as of tonight. Not had the moment of revelation that Carr talks about in the book, but not too bothered about that to be honest as long as I'm still not smoking, and happy with it

dolliemix

Well done. Three weeks is great!

I didn't feel the Allen Carr thing for a few weeks either. I've been feeling it lately though. I'm going on holidays tomorrow and I know i'm not going to be stressing about whether I can buy cigarettes I like/ where I can buy them/ where I can smoke them/ will I be the only one smoking? I would have been anxious before about all these things before.

This holiday I will be free from all those anxieties and stresses.

Really looking forward to it!

And it comes around quicker than you expect.

Keep it up!

Sasquatch76

Delighted Will write more when I have the time!

judas1369

Nice one! Glad to hear you're persevering, your well on your way to breaking the back of this thing!