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Should I tell him I feel or get over it

  • 13-06-2010 8:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi

    I honestly don't know where else to go with this. I'm in my early 20s and crazy about a guy in work. I hardly ever see him (perhaps only once every fortnight), and we never text or facebook or anything, but I can't stop thinking about him lately and it's driving me mad. I have a feeling he likes me, but it's just a feeling, probably only a hope really.

    Anyway, i'm devastated cos he's going travelling in a few months. He had it all planned before I even knew him. It's killing me and I don't know what to do. I've never been in a proper relationship before and I've never felt like this about anyone before. He's perfect and I don;t whether I am flogging a dead horse. He is due to come home after a year so at least if I knew that there was something there it would give me something to look forward to, but I am a very shy person and I wouldn't know where to start if it came to confessing how I feel about him. I know I come across like a giggling idiot around him because everytime I see him my heart melts. How do I know if I stand a chance...or should I leave it?

    Any advice is appreciated


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    You can't tell him you feel like this. No way m'dear! In circumstances like this it is best to get to know him a little better and THEN put out some vibes. If you rarely see him and have no communication with him then how do you really know you feel this way? How under his radar are you? Does he know your name? Have you spent any time together etc? Or is this a crush from afar?

    If you have very little to do with him do you not think it odd from his perspective were you to just blurt out that you have a big crush? Have you any mutual friends? Do you go to the same social events? Do you share any interests etc? Sorry with all the questions but seems like you need to find an angle to spend more time with the guy rather than just blurt out that you like him. More info please!:)


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Miss Fluff wrote: »
    You can't tell him you feel like this. No way m'dear! In circumstances like this it is best to get to know him a little better and THEN put out some vibes. If you rarely see him and have no communication with him then how do you really know you feel this way? How under his radar are you? Does he know your name? Have you spent any time together etc? Or is this a crush from afar?

    If you have very little to do with him do you not think it odd from his perspective were you to just blurt out that you have a big crush? Have you any mutual friends? Do you go to the same social events? Do you share any interests etc? Sorry with all the questions but seems like you need to find an angle to spend more time with the guy rather than just blurt out that you like him. More info please!:)

    Thanks for the response, I think you're right

    We chat a lot in work and out of all my work friends he's probably the guy I get along with best, even though I know the others better. We have a couple of shared interests and he seems to talk to me more than the other girls, but like you said it could be a crush from afar.

    Any ideas as to how I can get to know him better without giving the game away?


  • #4
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,580 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Invite him for lunch. Its non-threatening - it something that co-workers do all the time - and is limited to 30-60 minutes, so you only have to "perform" so much.

    If you want, practice on inviting other people to lunch first.


  • #5
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    +1 on inviting him to lunch. If there is a new place near to where you work then it might be a good excuse to invite him. Also, you are limited by time like Victor said so that takes the pressure off a little bit. It's casual but gives you an opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with him.

    If you share interests then that's also a great opportunity. Sounds like you get on well so a couple of warming drinks to stoke the old fires will do no harm at all;) So go and see what events are coming up based around your shared interests, tell him you may be getting some free tickets to that event, and see if he is interested in going.

    Him knowing you like him shoudl transpire quite organically rather than saying anything. Blurting out you like him will turn the dynamic of the friendship on it's head and you might ruin any chance you had with him.

    He sounds keen enough though if he talks to you so much;)


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