Am I over-reacting, am I a fool?

LegacyUser

Okay so here is the situation, there's this guy (there's always a guy right?) i'm interested in. I've known him quite a while, introduced through a mutual friend. We became friends to begin with & he was telling me about his relationship problems ect ect and telling me he wanted to break up with his gf because after 4 years it just wasn't working out.

Long story short, himself and my friend came out one weekend with my other friends and I , we hit it off (said guy) nothing happened, just a kiss. He went home a few days later he broke up with the gf. They still live together, he doesnt work, she does. Theyre still friends obviously theyre going to be.

We were messing around in texts and he said he liked me, I said I don't want anything serious no strings ect he agreed - so we said we'd try and hang out again and see what happens. I met his ex gf when i was introduced to him, i got the feeling she didnt like me i didn't say anything. I had a fight with the friend that introduced us all however after we made up several months later i was told (at the time of the fight things were said about me from by people) that the things said were just from the girl. A few months ago I went down to hang out with them all, the friend, friends gf, the guy and his ex. Things got heated between the guy and I but again nothing happened. I couldn't possibly do anything with his ex next door. I went home and we continued flirting.

Things were resolved between this mishap i've been told by this girl myself she doesnt have a problem with me. I'm still not 100% positive of that. The guy basically i'm helping him with his plans to leave ireland - it gives me something to do and i guess in a way its good karma back at me. Thing is anytime i want him to come hang out he can't , but its perfectly okay for me to go hang in his, however he has to clear it with the ex (thats 1 thing) the 2nd is recently i asked him are u still sleeping with your ex - his answer;

Yes because then we don't get at each others throats & we don't go out that much so its hard to meet new people.

He's told me he hasnt slept with anyone besides her since they broke up - but she has slept with 2 other people. (hard to meet new people say what??)
After that text I thought I cant do this ,we cant hook up until you are properly out of the house, because as far as im concerned they are still together just because they are not calling it a relationship, doesnt mean it isnt. It's exactly that, spending your time with your ex and SLEEPING WITH THEM (they have two different rooms but im on about sex here) is still a relationship right?

I basically told him i'm done until he's out completely. he said okay. He's nice in that sense, he answers all my questions. Yet I feel like the fool - I feel like i'm the back up sex , i'm not going to be that. I can understand clearing stuff with a housemate is fine, but every single time he invites me down i get the 'oh wait i have to clear that with ___' and it's like why bother inviting me until you've done that. I've invited him to come and stay at mine & twice he's had 'other plans' I was invited down one night for when she wasn't there, but it didnt work my end. He said she's all he's got, because she supposedly suddenly lost all her friends a few months before they got together.

I don't know what the story is, but i feel like a fool. I'm starting to feel like theyre both having a laugh at my expense. I feel like i'm being taking for granted, am i over-reacting?

cats.life

Fool? wrote: »

Okay so here is the situation, there's this guy (there's always a guy right?) i'm interested in. I've known him quite a while, introduced through a mutual friend. We became friends to begin with & he was telling me about his relationship problems ect ect and telling me he wanted to break up with his gf because after 4 years it just wasn't working out.

Long story short, himself and my friend came out one weekend with my other friends and I , we hit it off (said guy) nothing happened, just a kiss. He went home a few days later he broke up with the gf. They still live together, he doesnt work, she does. Theyre still friends obviously theyre going to be.

We were messing around in texts and he said he liked me, I said I don't want anything serious no strings ect he agreed - so we said we'd try and hang out again and see what happens. I met his ex gf when i was introduced to him, i got the feeling she didnt like me i didn't say anything. I had a fight with the friend that introduced us all however after we made up several months later i was told (at the time of the fight things were said about me from by people) that the things said were just from the girl. A few months ago I went down to hang out with them all, the friend, friends gf, the guy and his ex. Things got heated between the guy and I but again nothing happened. I couldn't possibly do anything with his ex next door. I went home and we continued flirting.

Things were resolved between this mishap i've been told by this girl myself she doesnt have a problem with me. I'm still not 100% positive of that. The guy basically i'm helping him with his plans to leave ireland - it gives me something to do and i guess in a way its good karma back at me. Thing is anytime i want him to come hang out he can't , but its perfectly okay for me to go hang in his, however he has to clear it with the ex (thats 1 thing) the 2nd is recently i asked him are u still sleeping with your ex - his answer;

Yes because then we don't get at each others throats & we don't go out that much so its hard to meet new people.

He's told me he hasnt slept with anyone besides her since they broke up - but she has slept with 2 other people. (hard to meet new people say what??)
After that text I thought I cant do this ,we cant hook up until you are properly out of the house, because as far as im concerned they are still together just because they are not calling it a relationship, doesnt mean it isnt. It's exactly that, spending your time with your ex and SLEEPING WITH THEM (they have two different rooms but im on about sex here) is still a relationship right?

I basically told him i'm done until he's out completely. he said okay. He's nice in that sense, he answers all my questions. Yet I feel like the fool - I feel like i'm the back up sex , i'm not going to be that. I can understand clearing stuff with a housemate is fine, but every single time he invites me down i get the 'oh wait i have to clear that with ___' and it's like why bother inviting me until you've done that. I've invited him to come and stay at mine & twice he's had 'other plans' I was invited down one night for when she wasn't there, but it didnt work my end. He said she's all he's got, because she supposedly suddenly lost all her friends a few months before they got together.

I don't know what the story is, but i feel like a fool. I'm starting to feel like theyre both having a laugh at my expense. I feel like i'm being taking for granted, am i over-reacting?

god ive a headache after reading all this:D but i feel that i have to answer you, first thing delete his fhone number, cos if he has no job where is he going to move to? he is fluffing along my dear. im sure you old enough to know to back of this guy, its not good way to having to ask to chill out with him , your not at school or at home to ask for permission. move on to pastures new , delete his number so you wont get temted to fone him anytime. he is still living with his ex :eek: he has to grow pair and look for a bit of a job, fas has course,s going on now and again. HE IS A USER..

Denimgirl

He's a Player with a capital P! does his ex know he's sleeping with you too? they have a very funny set up! leave them to it! you'll know in the future not to put yourself in that situation again!Good Luck!