Getting the sh*ts at inconvenient times

karlog · 13-06-2010 1:51am #1

Ever get a bad case of the runs at the worst possible time and place?

I was at oxegen last year and decided to get some dodgy curry chips. I was starving all day so i horsed them all into me without a bother. Curry chips with bulmers is a bad combination. I was in the pit during razorlight and as the gig went on i could feel my stomach going haywire. I knew a bad sh*t was brewing and i had to get to a portaloo fast. Trying to push through a crowd with a ticking time bowel that could go off at any second was one of the worst things i ever had to endure. I had to run to the portaloo site it was that bad and luckily for me there was no queue. So straight into the toilet i went, took a big watery ****e and yes, you guessed it, no toilet paper. My ass was a mess so i went macgyver and used my socks as a substitute for bog roll(i was pretty drunk and it seemed to be my only option). I had a spare pair in my tent so it was all good.