Psychological evaluation?

LegacyUser

I'm eighteen years old and for about two or three years now I've been worried about my mental health.

The first time I started wondering if I had problems was a few summers ago. I kept going through a range of highs and lows that lasted about three weeks. I'd feel absolutely sky high one minute, just full of joy, elated for no particular reason and then suddenly I'd feel like complete and utter ****. A lot of the good moods happened when I was out with friends but we weren't doing anything particulalrly fun or exciting, just hanging out, yet I'd feel like those were the best times of my life. Then I'd come home and just feel terrible. There wasn't anything at home to change my mood, it'd just come over me out of no where. I don't remember the feelings relating to any partiuclar part of my life or myself, I just felt crap. I didn't exactly feel sad just 'bad' for lack of a better word. I thought about death a lot and suicide, I even knew how I'd do it. I don't think I would have actually gone through with it but I knew how I would have if I wanted to. The best wat I can describe my feelings is I felt like I was losing myself. Once they passed though I just put it down to teenage hormones and forgot about it.

Then last year I started wondering again. I went through a phase of feeling absolutely horrible. Just completely down and depressed and hopeless. I found myself sleeping and eating a lot more for no reason. I can't remember how long it lasted exactly. The feelings would come and go, lasting about three days at a time and then disappearing for a long period of time. I think it might have lasted about two months or so? It was during summer again if that makes any difference.

Just before that phase a friends aunt died. I rang her when I found out and she told me she couldn't see the point anymore (she was very close to her aunt and she's had some other awful stuff happen to her), that people always say things will get better but then something worse happens and you can't stop it. After making her promise not to do anything stupid I found myself a few minutes later looking at a bottle of prescription pain killers belonging to my brother and wondering how many you would need to swallow to kill yourself. I didn't do anything but unlike the suicidal thoughts last time these ones were a lot stronger, there was a very strong possibility of me going through with it.

Then in April of this year I was at a friends' house drinking in a group when a friend got a text saying someone he knew died. He wasn't very close to the guy but he was really upset. My friend isn't very emotional and can be quite closed off about feelings most of the time, that night he was in bits. We had been planning to go out and my friend said we still should so while we waited on the steps outside for some people to finish getting ready or whatever we were talking about it. I had just seen a friend lose someone he didn't know that well get really upset and all I thought about was climbing the banister of the steps and jumping over the edge. I don't even know why it came into my mind, it was a strange feeling. The memory of it seems almost surreal to me. I didn't feel sad or bad or anything. I just...I don't know. I don't really understand what was going on in my mind that night.

I've also expereinced moments of intense rage over stupid reasons for almost all of my life. I remember a few incidents as a child where I slapped friends across the face for stupid reasons, I once slapped a girl because we were 'on' in catch and neither of us could catch anyone. I still get these flashes of rage now, usually over stuff like people being self deprecating when they shouldn't, but I don't normally act on it now. I have twice and it was scary. I felt horrible afterwards, it didn't seem like me. It was almost like someone else was controlling me.

I've self-harmed in the past, it was never a frequent thing, probably because I took up smoking around the same time and now use that to deal with stress. I've had to go through very stressful situations without cigarettes in the past and I've felt almost like I was going crazy. I could never quit, I wouldn't last without them. They're not always enough though, if I'm upset over something serious or feeling guilty about something I feel like cutting. I don't let myself because I know someone who has and has had become a compulsion, a need almost and I don't want that. I've done other things though, like repeatedly scratching, pinching and biting myself. When I'm guilty and I do it I feel better 'cause it's like I deserve it.

Anyway the reason I'm posting is because I want to get psychologically evaluated. The stuff I've mentioned above doesn't happen often, all of this has taken course over a few years. Most of the time I'm a 'normal' teenager. It's just I want to know what, if anything, is causing this. Sometimes I think I could have a disorder, sometimes I think I'm just ****ed up and sometimes I just think it's my personality and I'm just looking for something else to blame. Who would I go to to get evaluated? Do you have to be referred by you GP or what? What happens after? I don't really know anything about the process of applying or being evaluated so any information is appreciated. Any Advice or input is welcome as well.

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.

grrrrrrrrrr

Honestly I think its just a teenage thing more than anything.

I've had no experience with this before but if you think theres something wrong then why not go to a GP?

If you thought there was something wrong with your arm or your leg you'd go, why not when you think there's something wrong in your mind?


(Just an observation, you mentioned you had weird thoughts after drinking with friends. Drink probably isn't helping things, nor is smoking.)

But go to a GP yes!

LegacyUser

Yes drinking can cause weird and stupid thoughts but this wasn't that kind of though. It's hard to explain...

Thanks for your advice.

Esoteric_

Having mood swings CAN be caused by hormones when you're a teenager, but not to the extremes that you've described. You described how I felt as a teenager, right down to the suicide plans and self harm. I have had numerous psych evaluations and have been given a proper diagnosis and am being treated and while I don't feel great, I feel a hell of a lot more normal.

Basically, to get yourself evaluated, go to your GP and explain to him/her how you've been feeling, basically tell them exactly what you told us (even bring your post in for them to read if you think you won't remember it all). They'll tell you what they think MAY be wrong, if anything, and will send out a letter to a local psychiatric unit in a health center for you to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. After 6 weeks or so, you'll go in for an evaluation. It's pretty simple and lasts anywhere from 30-90 minutes.

You'll get asked about your mood swings, what happens during them (like, if you're feeling on top of the world, would you be really talkative, spend money, drink more, etc), how you feel during them in your own words, your appetite, sleeping patterns, etc. It's all quite basic. Try to expand on answers as much as you can, so they can find what, if anything, triggers you. It's pretty simple, though obviously a it scary at first.

After they've evaluated you, they'll probably tell you what they think is wrong with you, but won't generally diagnose you officially til the next session. They will usually start you on a treatment plan straight away though, be it medication, therapy, counselling or a mixture of all three. Don't worry about any of it, it's all straight forward and pretty easy to handle.

With mental illness (and I'm NOT diagnosing you, I'm talking generally here), you don't have to have something trigger you, you can just flip for no reason at all. That's because most mental illnesses are chemically caused, so there's a chemical imbalance which needs to be controlled or your moods can flip for no reason.

If you want any more info, feel free to PM me if you have a boards account.