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Is it over?

  • 12-06-2010 10:09am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Will try to keep this brief...have been going out with bf for the last four years, plus one year on off at the begining. We moved in together about 3 years ago, and everything was going well. I recently have been having doubts about the relationship, but not sure if it's the relationship that's the problem or is it just me being down, as have been having a tough time getting a job..finished a post-grad course last month, and have nothing since, so in ways my life has lost any focus.
    We've always had little and big fights about housework, I know it sounds so petty, but I always hold that not pulling fair weight in house equates to a lack of respect. We've had this fight so many times before, and then he says he understands, and then he tries to do a bit more, but eventually we end up back at square one again. I'm sick of the same fight over and over again. This week I was sick, and all I needed was someone to look after me and basically just keep the show going. OH went out two nights out of three, and did nothing.
    Also, we've kind of talked about future plans, and had kind of decided that we would build a house in his home village and settle there eventually. It's been hard for me to decide to do that as I am a real home bird and it would be nearly 5 hours drive from my home. But I wanted us to be happy together and said I would. Thing is, any time I mention anything about our future he shuts down. We're in our mid 20's, only very young yet, but I want to be able to talk about a future without him closing down. I have told him before that I would like a big family, and he used to say the same thing, but he fails to realise that we won't be able to have one if we decide to have children in ten years time...he only wants to enjoy his life.
    I feel like I'm sharing a house with a housemate, not the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I also half feel like I'm being a drag on him, as he keeps going on about how we should be enjoying ourselves...and I want that too, but I can't with the nagging feeling in back of my mind that this is it.
    Am toying with the idea of moving home now maybe in a month or so. But can't bring myself to say it because I know that it would probably mean the end. I can't imagine it being over, but is it? So confused.
    Brief, my foot!


Comments

  • #2
    Denimgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    are you going on ll the time about the future marriage and babies? that does scare guys off a bit!does he have a single mates making out "the single life" to be more appealing than settling down?


  • #3
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Show him that post! You need to be able to talk about this stuff!


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here..He's got a couple of single friends, maybe they are making that life seem more appealing, I don't know. Not going on about settling down the whole time at all. Every now and again is all. That doesn't seem to be the issue though at the moment. Pretty much living in squalor at the moment, because I've given up doing housework.....don't want to nag anymore, he doesn't seem to care that it bothers me. Which he knows it does, because we've been here before.
    We've talked about all this stuff before; i just feel like talking to someone about it, but I don't feel like I can...always feel like talking to friends about it makes it washing your dirty laundry in public! Just wondering if anyone been in this situation before??


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