Wasting my Life

LegacyUser

I don’t know if anyone can help but here it goes.
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I am a 30yr old female, and I feel I am wasting my life.
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I am in a dead end job, I work in a very small office with a woman in her 60’s and there are no laughs or conversation. She does everything by the book, she literally watches the clock and the minute it strikes 9 she will begin work and the same with leaving, the minute it strikes 5, she is out the door. I have been in the same office with her for the past year, coming from a different section in the building where everyone was a lot more easy going and there was always people coming into the office, the management were great, cracking jokes and were generally great to work with. Once you got your work done, they were happy.* Now that I am here, the minute I sit down at my desk I feel like crying. The work itself is monotonous and that added in with no conversation or general interaction is literally soul destroying.* I have applied for 5 different transfers but I know I will be waiting years L
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My personal life is no better unfortunately.* 5 years ago my now husband and I moved out to the outskirts of Dublin, before that I was living very near the city centre and I loved it.* Everywhere was either walking or cycling distance and now I’m stuck in traffic for 3hrs a day and its just getting worse. My one good friend lives in a different county, around 50 odd miles away but she is always busy so I hardly ever get to see her. I have no friends where I live, I get on with my neighbour but she has a baby so social outings are a no go. My husband works shift work so when I’m coming home he is usually heading to work so the majority of the time I am on my own.*
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Between my working life and personal life I am feeling incredibly lonely and I feel I am getting depressed. I have no excitement in my life, no friends I can just call into, no nights out to perk me up and I don’t know of any way to create that for myself.
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I have looked into joining clubs in my area but there really isn’t anything that I am interested in, the only place is the gym but people don’t really strike up friendships in gyms!
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I would love to have more of a life, as I feel I am just wasting mine away

fungun

have you tried looking at all the typed of clubs? I mean maybe you dont strike up good friendships at the gym but something like yoga might be good instead and people tend to have a chat after those classes i think. I know lots of local clubs (Maynooth area - its fairly good around here) but Im sure it must be the same in most places....I guess try to think about hobbies that you wouldnt normally think of and see if it makes sense to give them a go, i.e. a sport, writing, woodwork, acting....anything!
I guess Im wondering - what did you do in the city centre when you say "everywhere was close"?

I guess the other thing that seems to be getting you down is your job....you talk about applying for a transfer, but you could always just look to be applying for other jobs also?

elbee

If you work fairly regular hours and your husband isn't usually at home when you get in, could you look into clubs near work? Maybe go straight from work to a book club, or a night class?

johanz

I see a lot of people don't like their jobs in offices with little/no human contact. I would kill(not really) to get such a job.

Micahelxcx

Hi,

Seems to me you are on a downer at the moment. All seems very depressed around you, your job, social life, home life, personal life.
Let's take them one by one.
Your job. You have applied for other positions within your organisation. Have you spoken to somebody in HR about how you're feeling. Tell them about the isolation, lack of conversation and human contact. They have to do something to help you. Where do you go for coffee or lunch or afternoon coffee break? Can you not arrange to meet some of your former colleages for coffee or lunch?
As an earlier contributor said you can always look for a job outside, nothing to stop you.

Your social life. You say your husband works shiftwork and he is working with you are at home alone. Could you stay with a friend once or twice a week at their residence? Or could you arrange with a friend or friends to go to a tea time movie or for a meal after work and then head home at 8 or 9pm? Do you plan anything for weekends with family or friends? Like do yo do Bar B Cues. With the good weather we are having why not organise a Bar B Cue for family and invite them to stay overnight so they don't have to drive? Ditto for your friends. What did yo do that interested you so much when you lived closer to the city? Do you like gardening? Couldn't you find something to do in the garden after work? Why don't you invite in your neighbour for a chat and glass or two of wine when you are home alone? Just because she has a child doesn't mean she is off limits and unavailable. I'm sure she would appreciate adult female company. What does she do when she puts her baby to bed?
Do you like sports? Dancing? Pilates? I'm quite sure these hobbies are available. They may not be available on your doorstep, but are probably going on in the neighbourhood.
Do you enjoy walking? Cycling?

Home Life. I know many couples who don't see each other much during the week because of their jobs and distances from work. But couldn't you organise for you and your hubby to do things together on Fri and Sat nights? Meet up with friends and family. Do the garden together? Go for walks together in your matching wellies!! at weekends. Plan ahead and organise that you are both doing things together at weekends. Go out for Sat lunch and Sun lunch.

Personal life. Arrange for you both to go away for a long weekend Frid to Mon every six to eight weeks. There are very good deals to be had around the country. If you like the outdoors go to an adventure centre. Or perhaps you would like to go abroad. Go to the city and treat yourself to a makeover, shopping etc.
On a personal level, I don't know what your personal relationship is like with your husband. But maybe you need to spice up the sexual part of your lives. Buy yourself some nice, lingerie. But him nice boxers.
Share your dreams, imagine being together alone in that house and enjoy the intimacy.

I will say to you that no relationshhip is a bed of roses. Many people are in your situation either the countryside or in the city/urban areas. u need to look around more for things to do. I get the impression that you are so down about it all that at the moment you cannot see the positives that are out there.
Make a list of your friends and make a point of meeting some together or individually over the next few months.
Best of luck

Denimgirl

join the ladies lounge all lovely girls there in the same boat wanting to meet new pals.x