Concert for a first date - advice needed

karaokeman

Ok here goes.
I confess I have made earlier threads, some of you might remember but I was busy with exams and I didn't have time to check back and see the replies. Now they are over, so I will see how I get on this time round.

I have been friends with a girl for 3 years now, and I have never asked her on a proper date.
I know it seems kinda late to think about becoming more than friends with her, but I can't help it because of the feelings I have. Also I've known her dad longer than the girl. She also knows my parents and has been to my house several times when I invited my friends over.

I was in Liffey Valley with herself and 5 of her friends (who were all female) in April last year. Then in August I went for a meal in Eddie Rockets with herself, one of her friends and one of my mates.
Since then I have not went out with her on group dates.

I still have 2 tickets for Leona Lewis's gig at the 02, and I know she's a big X Factor fan so I was thinking of asking her would she like to come see Leona with me. None of our friends are going, and one of my mates can't make it so I thought of telling her this and asking would she like to go instead.

Problems are;

1. I am nervous because I have never had the confidence to ask her on a real date.
2. Usually your love life is secret from your parents, but I already know her parents and she knows mine.
3. Her dad is overprotective. So I would have to arrange for us to meet at the 02, would this be awkward? I thought it might be ok to show I am not trying to jump the gun too hard because I have not been any further than Liffey Valley with the girl/ her friends.
4. Has anyone else been to a gig on their first date?

Ta
Karaokeman

thebossanova

Gig is fine for a date, seeing as you know her already and should probably have a bit to talk about. But only you can decide if it's a date or not, and you should definitely make it clear to her if it is or not, just so there's no confusion between you. If you invite her without saying anything she might think it's as friends seeing as you've been out together before. And don't be worried, ask her! Life if too short, and you'll be happy you did, whichever way it works out.

karaokeman

Thanks to be honest I don't really feel comfortable asking her on a date yet.
For the concert I will say its just as friends.

If it goes well I might try asking her out on a real date because I built up my confidence from something we did as friends.

Only problem is I feel terribly stressed, even at the idea of asking her. I need to get over this somehow. Could it be related to love-sickness?

bellylint

If you do like the girl, and feel there is something there, there is no harm in asking somebody on a date. Yes it can be a huge mental build up, but it is all in our heads for this type of thing. Anxiousness and stress can be the more negative sides of things (perfectly normal to feel ) but six months down the line and you look back and think of what you did with those tickets, imagine how you will feel if you do nothing with em.
Personally I think a gig is a fine thing to go to. have done comedy gigs and things like that and it works well. If you do go and it is a date, most people will probably feel a lil awkward so if it happens dont let it be the end of the world. try to enjoy the gig and her company and either way if things dont work out, you will have had an enjoyable night.

as to having your parents not know about your love life, things are what they are, and there is no need for them not be involved. Be respectful and try to work from there. If they are plain crazy, it could be hassle but in fairness they can make things easy or tough on you so be as respectful as you can still.

karaokeman

Cheers again.
I have built up my confidence since this morning. I also did some yoga to help me relax, I will not need any stress for when I pop the question.
I know (from very good sources) that the girl I like, is not interested in having a bf just yet at 16. Rather she likes having lots of friends to hang out with. This concert will be a once-off until she is ready.
That is not to say no. I plan on asking, next time I'm just with her.
I also plan on making it sound as if its just as friends, when I ask her. I would call it a date, but I want her to know I am taking it one step at a time, so she won't feel pushed into doing something she's not ready for.

karaokeman

Hi all, I need some more advice before I can ignore this thread for good.

I am in a situation now that I might not see this girl until monday because she will be kind of busy. This is making it more stressful to ask the question because the concert is the following sunday (6 days later).

I don't want to ask in a text message, or a phone call because I think face to face is the best way to do it.

Do you guys/gals think it would be ok to pop the question a week in advance, rather than 2 weeks or longer? I am really wishing I asked sooner now.

With a little more advice I will be able to relax and get this all off my head.