Question for the guys?

LegacyUser

hi i guess im just looking for guys opinions on the following..
Basically i'm a 26 year old woman, started seeing a guy a few months ago, things seem to be going well, i really like him and he seems to feel the same about me, anyway things seem to be heating up between us and sex is kinda on the cards soon..which i suppose brings me to my problem, i have a medical condition which means that i can't take/use any kind of hormonal contraception , for other reasons the IUD is also out of the question, so basically condoms are pretty much the only option for me. (also can't take the morning after pill, so if there is an accident we're pretty much screwed)

i guess my question is for the guys, would you be i dunno i guess "concerned" about relying on just condoms in a relationship? Would it freak you out? Its just that this is the first guy i've been with since i've found out that i can't take the pill etc, and im not really sure how he'll take it ...

Victor

There are also spermicidal creams and the like. Best have a talk with your doctor to see what options suit you.

Not all sexual activities need be vaginal.

needopinion wrote: »

also can't take the morning after pill, so if there is an accident we're pretty much screwed

Unfortunate wording, but pregnancy is not the end of the world. Its not like you are 14 or 44 were there would be more substantial implications.

Denimgirl

I think you should use condoms the pill does'nt stop STD's!

Victor

Denimgirl wrote: »

I think you should use condoms the pill does'nt stop STD's!

Can you re-read the post?

peasant

needopinion wrote: »

i guess my question is for the guys, would you be i dunno i guess "concerned" about relying on just condoms in a relationship? Would it freak you out? Its just that this is the first guy i've been with since i've found out that i can't take the pill etc, and im not really sure how he'll take it ...

I for one would certainly want to know about the increased risk of possibly getting someone pregnant before any sexual activity takes place.

In other words ...talk to him openly about the situation.

S23

I would imagine plenty of lads wouldn't be bothered by the idea of condoms being the only form of contraception used when having a sexual encounter or relationship.

I would hazzard a guess a lot of lads don't sweat it too much over 'only' using condoms.

Personally, I prefer to have the OH on the pil and also use a condom to be doubly protected against pregnancy.

Also, I don't think the 'pregnancy isn't the end of the world' remark was very helpful. I take it this girl has absolutely no intentions of getting pregnant at the minute so to basically say 'ah sure if it happens its not that big a deal' is wide of the mark IMO.

Pregnancy is a big deal and you should take every precaution to guard against it if you aren't ready/don't want to have a child at the minute. Talk to your doctor about your options and talk to your partner about the whole thing

Bottle_of_Smoke

Wouldn't bother me.

Withdrawal method would also reduce risk (in addition to condom use )

fungun

Personally I wouldnt and wasnt "concerned" about just relying on condoms. But depends very much on the person.

For me this question is more about you than your partner, and what risk you are willing to take. Assume the worst - lets say he would run a mile if you got pregnant. What would you do? Do you know? Would it be ok? If you think you could deal with this scenario then go on ahead. Otherwise measure your reaction to getting pregnant against the risk of it happening if you only use condoms and make a call.

The other alternative you havent really put up here is the "bit of them all", where use a condom but only at safest time of month, maybe even withdraw as well, and abstain otherwise just in case....and at those times use other forms of sexual contact. As a guy, Id be happier to do this than risk my gf becoming pregnant (unless i was ok with her getting pregnant)

LegacyUser

peasant wrote: »

I for one would certainly want to know about the increased risk of possibly getting someone pregnant before any sexual activity takes place.

In other words ...talk to him openly about the situation.

The problem ISNT telling him its relying on one form of contraception

peasant

speaking-up wrote: »

The problem ISNT telling him its relying on one form of contraception

Not quite ...if there is only one form of contraception (condoms) available, you'd want to know about it so you can work around it.

There are several ways of staying safe (and having fun) using condoms only, but you need to talk about the do's and dont's first.

(for example ...no spontaneuos drunken romps where you go "ooops we shouldn't have done that" the next morning )

kraggy

OP, I wouldn't be put off by the situation. Yes it's a slightly higher risk, but not enough to put me off.

Just make sure he puts it on correctly i.e. holding the top as it's rolled down. A lot of people don't do this and that is one of the highest causes of condoms splitting as far as I am aware.

I understand your concern, but I would be very surprised if it turns out to be a huge problem.

Good luck.