Have you ever fallen out with a friend over..

arybvtcw0eolkf

an issued raised on the internet?.

(Please lets be serious for this one as it affects all forums across boards.ie)

Just occurred to me, over the whole Israeli boarding of the flotilla and the regretable deaths of the people on board that this is something I'd never normally get worked up over in real life.

But time and again I'll do it online (boards & facebook), then dig in my heels with friends whom I'd never be thick with IRL.

Then I'll log off, talk to someone real and realise I've been an asshole with friends & people simply because I've been online.

Anyone guilty of similar?.

/This is not an admission of me being an asshole

My name is URL

Aye, the internet makes it way too easy to get overly involved in disagreements that IRL you'd walk away from before it got to the point where there was any falling out

Lando Griffin

Yes was doing research into abrieviations once and my mother came in and we fell out over the content being shown on screen at that particullar time, the christmas dinner that day had a more than difficult aura to it.

Kasabian

Nope nothing on the internet can compare with the sh!te I have to deal with in the real world, so I come here to have pretend fights , it's relaxing.

Dancor

Na, thankfully I have more friends in real life than online.
I know a couple of people from Boards in the real world and have no problem standing by anything I say here to there faces.

MistyCheese

I'm more partial to the opposite of this actually. Just ask the guy I punched in the face for saying "LOL".

PIF > LOL

Latchy

I think people online sometimes generally become more animated and opinionated on some topics were as IRL are not as serious sounding with friends but it is the internetz .

And as were are in AH this post is not ment to be taken serious :pac:

Erica<3

To be honest, I have one friend that I always debate stuff with, and in person we tend to take the piss out of eachother or something else and start laughing so it doesn't get heated.

However, online things do tend to heat up, and personally I believe that's because we can't see eachother's faces so neither one of is ever sure of how the sentence is being said..

But no, we've never really fallen out over anything, just talk it out really... At the end of the day, our friendship is the most important thing so it never gets to the point where we don't speak for a bit over an argument.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Latchy wrote: »

I think people online sometimes generally become more animated and opinionated on some topics were as IRL are not as serious sounding with friends but it is the internetz .

And as were are in AH this post is not ment to be taken serious :pac:

Actually I'd appricate it if it was taken serious as its something which goes around all forum on boards.ie

I think drink is another thing has a major influence with how we behave online.

I know I've posted some truely cringe worthy stuff, or sent stupid assed PM's with a load of gargle on me and have been truely embarrassed when I review my posts the next day.

stovelid

It's never happened to me, but I think discussion IRL is far more fluid and nuanced than talking online.

I don't mind the 'posting' format of discussion (like now) where it's a series of (not necessarily contiguous) posts but I always find 'chatting' (by PM or IM) far less satisfying than RL chat- and far more prone to misunderstanding and confusion.

I think also when you are online, it's sometimes purely opinion without any humanizing context which can make you seem more zealous or more of a bastard than you actually are.

Latchy

Raphael Happy Symmetry wrote: »

Actually I'd appricate it if it was taken serious as its something which goes around all forum on boards.ie

For sure it's just that in a debate in you or your friends kitchen / living room you will come to a bridge in the convo and agree /agree to disagree ,/laugh it off .Were as online you will see a debate in a thread being derailed to the point were you may may not think somebody is just looking to agure (instead of debate) with anybody for the sake of it , hence the many quick reply/puns in AH .

I think drink is another thing has a major influence with how we behave online.

I know I've posted some truely cringe worthy stuff, or sent stupid assed PM's with a load of gargle on me and have been truely embarrassed when I review my posts the next day.

Dont think your alone in that one and would say large % of us have done same , know I have done a few times and now have an inbuilt ' if in doubt say nowt light bulb ' that tells me to shurrup if I think I'm about to cross a line .

I do think that there can be confusion with pm conversations at times but it depends I suppose who it is your pming /replying to and what mood your in at the time to

orourkeda

Porn is the way to go.

Make love not war

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

No, never let it get to that point. Many of my friends have different opinions on certain matters. Very conservative opinions, but I just ignore their ignorance, it's easier that way

brummytom

Someone said in a PE lesson that one of our mates 'looked like Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire'. Everyone agreed, and someone urged me to start a facebook group saying the same thing.

It got around 300 members over 2 days and the 'mate' in question got (quite rightly) very pissed off. That was about 4/5 months ago, we've only just started talking again.

stovelid

brummytom wrote: »

Someone said in a PE lesson that one of our mates 'looked like Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire'. Everyone agreed, and someone urged me to start a facebook group saying the same thing.

It got around 300 members over 2 days and the 'mate' in question got (quite rightly) very pissed off. That was about 4/5 months ago, we've only just started talking again.

This isn't the first time that I've given thanks to the lord that there was no internet when I was in school.

trout

It's common enough to find people saying things online, that they would never say in Real Life.

Google "online disinhibition" ... you'll see plenty of research from social science and psychology journals on this topic. It's a legitimate area of research, and there are a bunch of US based scholars analysing and publishing on this topic.

From memory, the anonymous nature of t'Internet forums, and the one-step-removed nature of the conversations, means it's easy for people to act out of keeping with their Real Life personas ... dissociation.

Adding a few beers into the mix, and a contentious topic, makes for a potentially volatile engagement.

I'm volatile enough as it is ... I try real hard not to get worked up over t'Internet stuff.

/edit - this is the site I was thinking of ... http://www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/disinhibit.html

Dancor

brummytom wrote: »

Someone said in a PE lesson that one of our mates 'looked like Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire'. Everyone agreed, and someone urged me to start a facebook group saying the same thing.

It got around 300 members over 2 days and the 'mate' in question got (quite rightly) very pissed off. That was about 4/5 months ago, we've only just started talking again.

That sounds like bullying to me.

brummytom

Dancor wrote: »

That sounds like bullying to me.

Yeah, sounds about right

Loopy

I honestly believe that a lot of people who communicate online are totally different to how they are in real life. The aggression and smartarseness online, it that a word? is down to being a pussy in real life..

arybvtcw0eolkf

Loopy wrote: »

I honestly believe that a lot of people who communicate online are totally different to how they are in real life. The aggression and smartarseness online, it that a word? is down to being a pussy in real life..

Sounds about right if you hang around somewhere like AH.

But I'd know more of the guys in the Martial Arts forum, and their online persona is pretty similar to real life and how they fight.

Its seldom I've met anyone from boards.ie who were like their online persona's - probably the closest is Degsy ans Snyper.

sky88

no never have genrally we even more stupid things then the internet

Latchy

trout wrote: »

It's common enough to find people saying things online, that they would never say in Real Life.

From memory, the anonymous nature of t'Internet forums, and the one-step-removed nature of the conversations, means it's easy for people to act out of keeping with their Real Life personas ... dissociation.

Adding a few beers into the mix, and a contentious topic, makes for a potentially volatile engagement.

It's that dissociation which allows some people online to be that something or somebody in a way that may not allow them be able to express themselfs to people / friends offline

Loopy wrote: »

I honestly believe that a lot of people who communicate online are totally different to how they are in real life. The aggression and smartarseness online, it that a word? is down to being a pussy in real life..

Which in that case if anything proves that you really only are as you are found to be , or how your known IRL

vodafoneproblem

I've stopped interacting with a RL friend online because we were maybe heading for falling out. Much easier and friendlier to have the same discussion in RL.

Degsy

Raphael Happy Symmetry wrote: »

Its seldom I've met anyone from boards.ie who were like their online persona's - probably the closest is Degsy ans Snyper.

Gee thanks,pal!:mad:

Tar.Aldarion

I said something here on personal issues, somebody that uses boards told her it(wasn't about her)...wrong and I lost a friend due to that, not really due to that, but the fighting after. Not due to arguing on here no.

starbelgrade

I don't get worked up about anything really, so I never get involved in heated debates online or in real life. People have their opinions, I have mine - if they wanna listen, then fine - if not, that's fine too.

That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good debate, or taking the p*ss out of some of the more idiotic viewpoints.

The only difference for me between online & real life disussions / debates is that I have more time to put my thoughts into words & it's easier to find stuff to back up an opinion.

soups05

wait, let me get this straight. you have friends in real life? :eek::eek::eek:

then what are you doing on a sat night posting in ah with a sad lonely friendless git like me?







:D:D:D:D:D

Gummy Panda

brummytom wrote: »

Someone said in a PE lesson that one of our mates 'looked like Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire'. Everyone agreed, and someone urged me to start a facebook group saying the same thing.

It got around 300 members over 2 days and the 'mate' in question got (quite rightly) very pissed off. That was about 4/5 months ago, we've only just started talking again.

Making facebook pages about people is not cool.

I hate facebook and have made it clear to my mates to never put a pic of me up on it whether it be for a laugh or just good intentions.

Novella

Never had an actual argument with a friend on thread on here... But I have 'vented' and yeah, that never turns out well.

dvpower

Raphael Happy Symmetry wrote: »

/This is not an admission of me being an asshole

Close enough for me.:pac:

Sheeps

i fell out with someone who i had just met in the comments section on youtube because he said ps3 was better than xbox360 AND ITS NOT FUCK THAT GUY

AckwelFoley

I dont take the internet too serious, as i think many people on it that say many very brave things about what they'd say and do in person when a particular situation is a load of bollox.

You will tend to find alot of unwarrented agression toward people, hence the need for modertors.

I cant say ive ever been in an online arguement, im more likely to be honest to be in a real life arguement, however i rarely ever do, i cant remember tha last time i have had an arguement with someone other than my fiance, and i absolutely cant remember the last time i raised my voice in agression, its at least 5 or 6 years, an arguement with me is a very mono tone affair, i believe if you need to be the loudest - what you are saying isnt the smartest.

brummytom

Loopy wrote: »

I honestly believe that a lot of people who communicate online are totally different to how they are in real life. The aggression and smartarseness online, it that a word? is down to being a pussy in real life..

I think that very much depends on the person. I'd say though that someone who's a smartarse on the internet probably is IRL too. I think it's natural that we all vary very slightly between real life and on the internet, even if we don't realise it, but I don't think the variation's significant.

I'm just as much of a cunt in real life as I am on the internet, if not moreso.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

brummytom wrote: »

I'm just as much of a cunt in real life as I am on the internet, if not moreso.

I've never seen you act the cúnt on here, but I've seen you call yourself a cúnt at least 20 times.

arybvtcw0eolkf

baz2009 wrote: »

I've never seen you act the cúnt on here, but I've seen you call yourself a cúnt at least 20 times.

I was thinking the same thing myself!.

IRL I'd be pretty much like Synper and would rarely raise my voice.

However online, like IRL, I hold onto something far longer than is healthy and won't let it go until I've sorted it with the other person.

Probably because I try to be very honest online I expect the same from other's and I'd carry a grudge into real life very easily.

Good replies from some here and fuel for thought.

McChubbin

Ayup. Stopped talking to an OL friend of mine because everytime we managed to find time to chat (**** you, 6 hour time difference!!), her husband would pester her relentlessly and pull her out of our limited chat bubble to the point where we were lucky if we could find five minutes to catch up.

Red Hand

I don't really know people on here in real life, and tbh I don't really argue or debate that much anymore...I rarely post these days in fact.

Anthony Walsh

I'm a bit in-different to this, I do agree with the theory behind it, although I find I'm alot more of a smart ass IRL than on the internet, I used to get sucked into to arguments on the internet with friends on facebook saying stuff I didn't agree with but now I can take it with a pince of salt. That being said I used to be an agro teen and get in a hell lot of arguments IRL but also have calmed down alot too. So basically it's just smart-assness IRL life for me.

minidazzler

Yeah, happens me alot, it's the reason I now try to avoid threads on the British Army and Abortion, I have strongly held beliefs on both that can't be swayed at all, so I am no longer willing to argue for hours about something that other people won't change their mind.

I've been banned from forums for my arguing before because I tend to resort to name-calling when it's called for. But that guy was a cnut!

Terry

Nah. I'm the same jackass in real life.
People who know me know this to be true.

alwaysadub

Nope, i try not to get into arguments at all, and if i do, i sort them out as soon as possible. It'd want to be something very very personal to me for me to fall out with someone over.

IvySlayer

Sheeps wrote: »

i fell out with someone who i had just met in the comments section on youtube because he said ps3 was better than xbox360 AND ITS NOT FUCK THAT GUY

Hey, leave him alone :P

The Aussie

Raphael Happy Symmetry wrote: »

and have been truely embarrassed when I review my posts the next day.

Thats me when im stupid to look at boards after a few beers, normally i would just have a chuckle at a stupid or naive comment in real life, but articulating the same way i speak into text something goes pear shaped.

Mind you i think a few people troll under the pretext of being the PC police, and the way i phrase thing is just fodder for them.

owenc

Yes i did that and now people these people never speak to me, but they were in the wrong aswell! Now when i fight i just ignore it.