Is it necessary to verbalise how we feel?

LegacyUser

Okay I´ll try not to ramble but just want to see what others think. Have been seeing a man for just over 2 months now although we knew each other about 2 months before that (ex housemates...lost of sexual tension...finally got together) and I´m crazy about him. Most definitely falling for him. He´s just fantastic, such a positive person, so kind, always trying to do his best for me, funny....it´s the healthiest relationship I´ve ever been in in that there´s no games, no fighting, just two people who respect and like each other a lot who spend time together....

and there lies the problem. This is how it´s been the past 2 months but I feel like even posting up here is complicating a situation that doesn´t need to be complicated. We haven´t spoken about if were going out our not or even how much we like each other. It´s very obvious we both feel something just by our actions, our body language, the intimacy, the things we do for each other, the way we get on and the fact that we do genuinely care that the other person is okay...but the conversation hasn´t lead on to this. I´m not sure if the lack of alcohol but we don´t get drunk together (he´s not Irish), just a glass or two of wine or a beer or two and in the past I´ve always got all soppy and romantic after a few drinks. I do slip in compliments now and then and I try and express how I feel about him by trying to help him sort out his worries and doing him favours, buying him his favourite ice-cream etc.

I have no idea why things are this way....what are we both so scared of. We´re both over 30 and I don´t know why were so reluctant to bring up anything. It´s as if it´ll jinx what we have and put a serious edge to something we both enjoy as it is. Are we afraid the other person won´t feel the same and we like to delude ourselves? It all feels so real, like nothing I´ve ever felt before. So I´m asking you guys if you think it´s important to establish whether were going out or not and do we have to tell the other person how we feel even if it´s very obvious?

I guess I didn´t have a problem with this until the past week or two and it´s not a problem but I´m thinking it could be somewhat strange?

Ickle Magoo

I don't think it's particularly strange, a lot of people just kind of fall into a relationship but I think it's healthy to establish where you now stand, whether you are exclusive and so on - even if just to save you having to think or worry about it because two month in is a kind of transition from dating to being partners.

As for telling your other-half how you feel? I'm a great believer in these things happening in their own good time, if you haven't felt the need to say it or had the perfect opportunity then it probably wasn't the right times - I don't think you need say anything until you are sure you want to, as you say your actions tell him all he needs to know at the moment.

Best of luck!

ManOfMystery

Just relax. You're both only a few months into this - it will happen when it happens. Myself and my gf went out for a few months without any deep heart-to-hearts until one night it just hit us both and we both expressed how we felt.

However ........... if you feel like accelerating things and bringing it up, why not? Or at least steer the conversation that way.