Dads at the Stag

paddylonglegs

Ok this wasn't going into the wedding forum, nor was it going into the Festival & Parties forum....

Looking for thoughts more so on broaching the subject with my Dad on going to my stag later this year.

I'm wondering what other guys have done when its come to this. My dad is in his mid-60s (like alot of guys in their late 20s getting married), the rest of the lad going are my friends who will be my age and will be up to the usual Stag party shennanigans. Also we'll be doing some activities during the day which might be a bit too much for him. While I don't want to exclude my dad, I'm just not sure if he'll feel comfortable going out with a big group of lads on the lash with me having to check every five mins if he's ok.I'm not expecting to have any other older people there accept my uncle and possibly the brides dad. So already I'm thinking will he be ok and be entertained.

I don't have an amazing relationship with my dad, as in we don't go for pints and have deep conversations. We both do our separate thing and have a bit of a chat when i'm over in the house.

I don't want to offend him at the same time. Should I just let everything happen and see how it goes, or will my head be wrecked for the whole weekend?

I suppose I'm not looking for a definitive answer here guys as you don't know my circumstances, but maybe some of you have been in this situation

Cheers

CDfm

firstly -its your stag and not his and really its just another party

Rresumably he wont be involved in shaving off your eyebrows or waxing your pubes but at 60 or so he should be well able to take care of himself.

He will know your friends, uncle etc , dad in law and be old enough to do his own limits and not get invilved in knocking back tequila slammers with the lads or disgracing himself with the strippers.

I have a kind of feeling that this is an event where you see each other as men out on a night and it will be fine.

Let it happen. He is probably chuffed at being invited so dont check up on him as he goes about his daily life without you doing so.


It will work out -dont worry so much.

Pherekydes

How about having a separate night with him? A much quieter night with dinner and a few drinks. That'd be my idea anyway, coming from someone who's fast approaching that stage in life.

Agent Smith

I'd imagine my father would be quite offended if i didnt invite him to my stag.

Depending on his phyiscal fitness, maybe he would be totally up for paintballing and the like

CDfm

My son would probably invite me and I would stay for a round or a meal and exit.

I imagine he has seen the lads and the OP drunk before and maybe even put them to bed and even dealt with drunken pukie types and is now going "weyhey" theyve growin up. That chapter over.

crazybaldhead

Ive been at a few stags where the dads came and it always worked out ok.

They all tended to bail out at around 10pm or there abouts when it started to get messy, better that they werent around for those parts. There was one who stayed til the death on the first night and regretted it cos of what he saw, and funny enough he wasnt up for the second night.....

My advice would be go with it and not worry about it so much.

Otis Driftwood

Never been to a stag that the Dad has been on and TBH Id find it a bit weird.

I know if the day comes for Neddy to get hitched then the oul fella likely wont be there.

Conversely,nearly every hen of female friends that have gotten hitched the mothers have been there.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

I'd say he'd be alright if your uncle and the future father-in-law will be there, they'll probably stick together.

Monkeybonkers

OP, have you already invited him on the stag weekend? Sorry, I wasn't too sure after reading your post. If you have and he's accepted then I think you have nothing to worry about. Just because he's a bit older (60 isn't even old these days) doesn't mean he won't enjoy himself as much as you young stags. He's probably seen it all before and a lot more besides. If you're worried that your own weekend wil be ruined then just tell him that it's going to be a wild weekend (if that's the intention) and not to judge you or anyone else by what happens. Once he knows that you intend to let your hair down then he has the choice whether to stick around all night, even when things get messy, or beat a dignified retreat when things get to a certain stage. Your father is a person too and if you're not worried about having your father in law and your uncle there then why should your own father be any different. You'll might find that on the night you end up having a conversation with him that will bring the two of you closer than you ever have been. Just enjoy the night yourself and I'm sure he's old enough to look after himself. Maybe don't mention that to him though

paddylonglegs

lads some great advice there. Of course he's able to look after himself and I think he'll have the sense to stick around until he wants to along with the others too. Thanks for the different perspective on it.

Cheers

Dr Galen

Without knowing your dad it's hard to make a call OP but don't forget it's probably likely that your dad will have seen it all before. You don't get to 60 without a bit of shenanigans going down.

For my stag, we went away. I wasn't into having a shed load of ransomers getting hammered who I didn't really know tbh. We had a separate few pints at home though and the dad and dad in law we asked along to that.

Sounds like your relationship is similar tho and mine worked out fine. In fact he surprised me with how well he got along

Mr Benevolent

Dads on stags? Never seen that before, it'd ruin the whole thing if people are worrying about 'behaving themselves' in front of the groom's dad (independent of their age).

boobar

Pherekydes wrote: »

How about having a separate night with him? A much quieter night with dinner and a few drinks. That'd be my idea anyway, coming from someone who's fast approaching that stage in life.

I agree completely with you on this. I am in my late 30s and my younger brother in law was talking to me about marriage and the future. He was worryiong about asking certain people to his stag (if he got married in the future). I said to him only invite who you want. I said to him I would not consider it an insult if I was not invited. In fact I had to uninvite someone to my own stag night, another invitee decided it would be ok if he invited his pal (not a pal of mine). In short, it is your night so do waht you like and don't take any guff.

helimachoptor

Heading to a mates stag in August, his dad and uncle are going and it'll more be a case of us young lads trying to keep up with them!!

OldGoat

Ask him.
Tell him whats planned for the event. If he has any cop on he'll pick one or two of the quiter events, the meal for example, and he'll go to that and perhaps a pint of two but most dads know when enough is enough. I would imagine that he, your uncle and your father in law will call it a night early on and slope off for a few pints somewhere by themselves.
I mean, lets face it, hanging around with a bunch of pished up loud mouthy oversexed (and under-scoring) boys is'nt a great night out.

Ronan Keating

Would you really want your Dad there when your sniffing around a stripper?

Dad might have a heart attack.

CDfm

Yup I believe I have met Mr Keating senior and I think he could cope.:p

Anyway -if you can cope with being a parent -a stripper is a doddle.

Ronan Keating

CDfm wrote: »

Anyway -if you can cope with being a parent -a stripper is a doddle.

Most people don't go sniffing around their children!

CDfm

Ronan Keating wrote: »

Most people don't go sniffing around their children!

then this will be role reversal for the OP.

he is worried about his dad being embarressed :cool: