Interfering

caprilicious

Just curious, but what's the most interfering thing you've had someone say to you about your baby?

I had a friend of the family tell me at 7 weeks I should be putting a few tea spoons of cereal in my babies bottle to make her sleep at night :eek:
I wouldn't mind but she was already sleeping 8 hours a night then & I hadn't complained!

I spoke to a friend of mine recently, someone had commented that her little boy's babygro was too small for him (it was just hitched up at the back when he was asleep :rolleyes:)

I think I've got away quite lightly in terms of interfering, but have any of ye been very tempted to tell someone to stick their unwanted advice where the sun doesn't shine?

From what I've heard from other parents; parenthood seems to be an area of one's life where people regardless of whether they have kids or not feel entitled to tell you how you should be doing things & it fascinates me!
Especially when their advice is completely incorrect or off the wall!

gogo

I'd like to introduce my mother in law, classic sterotype. I got the baby rice in a bottle too, also he's always too hot too cold, or something. the fact that he absolutly perfect, never been sick (touch wood), sttn since three months, took to solids like only a boy can:P:P seems to have completley passed her by.
I took the extra unpaid leave from work, so she now says that i'll be too attached to him to go back to work?? Im already attached, he's my son, also i have a mortgage that needs paying, so she know im going back.
I put him too bed to early, sure "i'll have no life", im not to sure where I want to go at nine o clock at night with a baby.
Why cant i give him a 'taste' of some chocolate/sweets, whats the harm. This one included badgering me to let him "lick a jellybaby" at four months old.
A 'faith healer' will cure his exzema in no time.:rolleyes:.
Leaving him on the snow,(one month old!!) to take a few pictures will do no harm.
The list is endless.

Oh god, serioulsy I love her to death, and i know she loves my son, but she'll be the death of me yet. i have to bite my tounge regulary to stops the screams.

silja

My sister-in-law....
- I should be giving baby cereal at 2 weeks so she'll sleep through.
- I should put hard shoes on the kids from 9 months old,from morning to night, even indoors, so that they learn to walk (she said I was a bad parent because my boy twin didn't walk till 16 months old...).
- (when we were still in Ireland) babies should watch a lot of TVC so they can learn the American accent.
- Girls should wear hair bows or slides when going out so people know it's a girl (her wardrobe being 80% pink and purple isn't enough?!?)
- Babywearing spoils the child.
- Breastfeeding past the first few weeks is stupid, formula has more nutrients, and nursing in public is gross.
etc etc etc....

casio4

you will get so called 'advice' from everyone you come in contact with whether they have kids or not you need to ignore most of it and a lot of biting your tongue

cynder

I dont call it interfering, i had 3 kids and people always say this and that but at the end of the day im going to do it my way.


Some people are only trying to help!

caprilicious

Omg I have definitely got away lightly so far! (long may it last )

Gogo that is hilarious your mam in law wanting to let your 4 month old lick a jelly baby! & Silja I think you're a saint for not slapping your sister in law :eek:

Grindlewald I know there's people out there that do only mean to help, & people like that I am always grateful of
I mean here more so the one's that love telling you you're doing things wrong regardless of whether you are or not just to undermine you.
The guy that told me to put cereal in my baby's bottle kept rolling his eye's to my mam & coming out with gems like 'ah she'll learn' :mad::mad:

I wouldn't mind but my little girl is very content, the way he went on you would swear I was doing things ar$eways altogether :rolleyes:

hacked

When i go out in public and isobel starts crying everyone has a bloody opinion. They act like im a bad mother and im starving my child. They seem to forget i gave birth to her and spend all my time with her...so i know what she needs! It actually bothers my friends more than it bothers me, i have to give them a kick so they don't go off at people!

2SWEET

hacked wrote: »

When i go out in public and isobel starts crying everyone has a bloody opinion. They act like im a bad mother and im starving my child. They seem to forget i gave birth to her and spend all my time with her...so i know what she needs! It actually bothers my friends more than it bothers me, i have to give them a kick so they don't go off at people!

I'm with you on that one. As soon as my son gives even the slightest cry someone idiot will always say ..ah he's hungry you'll have to bring him home.... Do they not realise babies cry for reasons other then being hungry!

caprilicious

Thankfully I haven't had anyone say it to me but I find I'm so conscious if my girl does cry when we're out that people are thinking the same that I haven't fed her!

hacked

ugh i got so mad earlier! There was this mother of two visiting our church today. Was talking to her and another friend and as i was getting ready to leave, my friend commented on my freshly dyed hair. I smiled and said something about not having done it since 2 months before my 3 month old daughter was born and having really bad roots.
this woman then said something (very nicely might i add, she was a nice person) about now that i have a child my needs have to come last. I was so pissed off. Excuse me, but you don't know me. I'm a sngle mother....and not just one of those single mothers in title. i live on my own with my baby, and do everything myself. i did not realise taking a half hour out t organise a babysitter so i could dye my hair and do one thing for me was so selfish!!!:mad:

Bevvie

I haven't even had my child my child yet and i'm already geting this! Tbh most of it is extremely helpful but for example neither me or my partner want to baptise the child due to personal reasons but you have the family going on about the child not being fully part of the family, worrying about the child's education etc. Also the looks i got when i mentioned i was breastfeeding were insane people can be so insensitive without meaning to

casio4

my husband gave up his job (it was a ****ty job) to stay at home and mind our daughter when she was born, she is 19 months old now and him and her are getting on great and the bond they have is amazing, however every time he meets his sister and her partner they keep asking him when is he going to put the little one in a creche.We have no intention of putting her in a creche and no matter how many times we say it to them they still ask, it's very annoying, I work in a school and there is a play school that the children do a year of before starting junior infants and i think thats time enough for her to go into that when she's three.

Das Kitty

Oh Lordy, some of this stuff is gas! Hacked, that one with the two kids, what a frigging martyr! Her kids won't thank her in years to come when their primary role model is someone who gave up all of herself in that way. Pfft! She also has to figure out the difference between needs and wants.

No one interferes with me like that, I do get asked about weaning a lot though, but when I tell them our plans and why they're happy.

lolli

Some people are terrible alright. I know a lot of people only try to help when they say stuff but others just say really inappropriate things.

My gran lives with us and shes always making comments. She's terrible. When ever she says anything to me now I tell her i'm perfectly capable of minding my own baby.

She said to me recently... you lost a load of weight when you had the baby ... I said Thanks... then she added but I think your putting most of it back on. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

gaeilgegrinds1

Welcome to my world. Seemingly, I returned to work too early. Was careless to have a natural birth and now look too thin. Some people need to get a life!

caprilicious

gaeilgegrinds1 wrote: »

... and now look too thin.

I wish I had the same problem

Lolli you poor thing, that sounds like something my gran would say. I love her dearly but omg she can have an acid tongue sometimes!
Before I had baby I was a size 12, she always bought me size 14/16/18 clothes and would say 'oh that'll probably be a bit tight/bit small on you' :eek:
Talk about knocking a gals condifence!

bogtotty

My gran keeps trying to get me to drink Epsom salts 'to get the baby off', or to put mustard on my nipples, even though I've told her repeatedly that I've no intentions of weaning til my boy is at least a year old.

It really bugs me when people say 'oh he's too hot/cold'. I mean, how do they know that? Do they have heat sensors or something?

Dublin_Gunner

The too hot/too cold thing really annoys me.

And what is it with grandmothers and the perpetual cardigans??

Jaysusssss.


IMO if I'm not cold, the baby's not cold. They're little people, not some alien life form. Its 2010, we have central heating. The baby doesn't need to wear a damn cardigan 24/7. Grrr........

'Would you not put this on her?' 'Would you not give her this?' Grrrr.......

hacked

I know seriously! Just because baby's tummy doesn't feel really toasty doesn't mean they are too cold!

My mum told me when I got home from the hospital the same thing Dublin Gunner. Dress the baby how you are dressed. If you need to put on a jumper, put one of the baby too. If you are feeling a little warm, chances are baby is too, etc.

My buggy's moses basket attatchment traps a lot of warm air, so i am always being told im not looking after my baby properly. Um, I think I know best! If I put a cardigan and blanket n her everytime i would be COOKING the poor child!

caprilicious

The 'too hot' thing bugs me too.

I look at it this way, when I was pregnant and when I left to take my little lady home I was given leaflet after leaflet warning me not to let baby overheat due to risk of cot death.

If a baby is cold, they'll be uncomfortable and cry/be agitated, they'll let you know in their own little way.

I don't understand the granny logic of bundling them in several layers of clothes/cardigans etc, as ye say not in this day and age of central heating.
Yet if you try explain this or explain the risk of cot death you get scoffed at :rolleyes:

Das Kitty

caprilicious wrote: »

I was given leaflet after leaflet warning me not to let baby overheat due to risk of cot death.

I call that the guilt book. I had more than one cry over it!

The rule of thumb I was given was that the baby should wear one more layer than you, ie the vest, seems logical to me! Another tip is to feel the nape of the baby's neck if you suspect they're too cold and if it's not cold they're not.