If u see an Ex out

PTH2009

Whats the best thing to do??

1.Tell your mates im not staying in this bar and go to a different bar. Keep movin nightclubs if u see your ex in any of them.

2.Stay in the bar he/she is in and try and enjoy yourselve

3.go up and say hi hope your good enjoy your night and go off and enjoy your night.

Silverfish

How is this a personal issue for you?

Everyone will react differently, a survey of other people whose relationships may have ended differently will not really help.

Ickle Magoo

Surely it depends entirely on the relationship you now have with that ex and how acrimonious the split?

pookie82

Are you worried that you'll bump into one soon? Best thing to do is probably ignore them and get on with your night. I wouldn't leave a pub as soon as they walk in as that could go on all night. Nor would I risk awkwardness or confrontation. Just try to act like they're not there and have fun.

LegacyUser

hi, if this is the girl you've posted about previously absolutely do not approach her, leave immediately as soon as you see her, and speak to your councillor about it. You will get over this, time is a great healer.

PTH2009

I feel so parnoid when im going out i start to get a panic attack in my head.

My ex friend is going to get someone after me.

Some guys who the ex friend showed a picture of me too is going to come up to me and say **** to me and start hitting me or giving me treats

Camaras and social sites can be dangerous things sometimes.

THIS IS A HUGE MONKEY ON MY BACK EVEN WHEN ITS OVER MY LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE PERFECT BUT I FEEL I WILL BE A SLITLY BETTER PERSON.

IF OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS NOT MEANT TO BE THAN WHY DOES GOD MAKE ME SUFFER . I CAN BEAT MYSELF UP BLACK AND BLUE BUT WHEN IS MISS RIGHT GOING TO COME ALONG.

WHEN GOD CLOSES A DOOR HE OPENS ANOTHER ONE UP AND HE MUST HAVE MINE ONLY HAVE OPENED.

I COULD BE MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS IN MY HEAD AND THIS COULD BE ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I JUST FEEL THIS COULD HAPPEN

Miss Fluff

When is your next counselling session OP? Are you taking your meds?

S23

you're a good poster Miss Fluff so edit that before you get banned for it

PTH2009

dont take meds.

The Person im seeing is my youth leader (well boss). Hes been there and knws about kids and there problems inside out and its be a few weeks since i talked to him. He actually went out out of his house and saved me from doing something really stupied (drink/lonliness was involved). This may sound a bit stupied but i would feel a bit uncomterble going up to him and say can i have a word but i feel he is the only person i can talk to about this that i can some some what trust. Its now over 2 months since i talked to him about this and he has not mentioned it too me. so i hope he has nothing mad at me some days i feel it would not be right to call him and talk about this. I feel i think i should sit down and talk about this with him and then move on and see what the next step is with this ex friend.

My Parents and i are so thankful for all the things he has done for me and i do get a bit emotional thinking about it. The mans a ture saint.

Time is making me worse and one thing i want to hear in my head THIS IS ALL OVER IM NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE, I HAVE ACCEPTED WHAT I DONE WRONG AND IN A FEW YEARS I WILL FIND SOMEONE but when will this day come its now been over 5 months and the pain is still there.

If only i could turn back time why was i so smothering/paranoid etc.

Would it be a stupied idea to make a step ladder and take this ex friend relationship step by step. Could it resolve it a bit.

Another thought has come into my head that this friend may of been on this site and have saw all the previous threads about this and has coped on that its me. Only now looking back on the threads i noticed how much i siad about this.

LighterGuy

Best thing to do when your out and see an ex? Its the cliche answer op, but ignore them.

The reasons why that cliche answer is the best is because there are alot of people (especially when it comes to ex's) who will get off a little on seeing their ex clearly showing that they are either jealous, upset or angry.

Hey its nearly happened to us all where we see an ex kiss another in front of their us... if you act like you are too busy having fun. It makes THEM be the ones upset. Remember, Half of the s*it you see an ex do in front of you is to mess with your head. If a person really doesnt think anything of you. They'll do their best to ignore you or get away from you. Either way it doesnt matter weather they want to mess with your head or hate you. You use the cliche answer of "ignore them"

dudara

S23 wrote: »

you're a good poster Miss Fluff so edit that before you get banned for it

Please leave the modding to the moderators. Confine yourself to posts that address the OP's issues.

dudara

fungun

hmm, you ask "when is miss right going to come along" but refer to the person as a "he" so Im not even sure who is male or female here.

Anyway typically Id go with 2 above, dont go out of my way to ignore them but dont go out of my way to talk to them either.

Miss Fluff

I had thought you were seeing a professional about this rather than having spoken to your boss. While he sounds like a good man with the best will in the world, I think at this stage you would really and truly benefit by going to see a professionally trained counsellor or therapist. You're carrying around a lot of worry and upset and having paranoid thoughts about people being out to get you.

While people here are sympathetic OP, repeated threads on the same topic where you are given the same advice time and again on a weekly basis don't seem to be sinking in with you at all. You seem to be going around in circles and if anything the obsession seems to be getting worse. I think a therapist however may be able to help with your anxiety and show you relaxation techniques on how best to shut out the obsessive thoughts and internal chatter that you're experiencing.

Have you a good local GP that you can trust who would refer you/recommend you? You'll have to be completely honest about what has been going on. If you want to get better and you want life to improve and you want a chance at happiness and being in a good enough place to form a relationship then I think you need to seek that help now. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It's like someone with a weight problem going to Weight Watchers. Sometimes people need that extra hand or a little help to guide them on their way and I think you could benefit from it hugely m'dear.

John Mason

OP - you have been told over and over again that you need to see counsellor.

GO AND SEE A COUNSELLOR

LegacyUser

OP, it's very important that you approach your GP or another medical professional about this issue. They'll be best placed to advise you on how to get some help to get past this.

As you admit yourself, it's been 5 months and this is still a significant problem. It's time you got some proper help with solving it, and a GP or professional counsellor is where you need to go to get that help. Friends and family mean well, and I'm sure that helps, but at this point you really need a professional who's outside of of all this to assist you.

anucksunamun

Hi OP, this is the number for a GP who is also a therapist/psychiatrist in Waterford.
His number is 051 855855
His name is Dr Saleem Osman.
His address is 6 Brook Rd, Riverview.
Here is a link to a map of where his surgery is: http://www.revahealth.com/doctors/ireland/county-waterford/waterford/dr-saleem-osman

You have no excuse, get yourself the professional help we can all see you need.

PTH2009

At this moment in time i cant afford to go and see a gp. I have no medical card, need money for other things.

Have to work on myself hopefully have a good summer and get a bit of money together.

Its all a bit childish when i think about it too grown ups who will not talk to each other. I feel like some fool when i think about the last few months about how i worried so much and how i acted on this fourm. If any asks me about the ex friend i will say this person was a lovley person with a good heart things didnt go to plan and we had a few bad times this friend was under a lot of pressure and my friendship came at the wrong time and this person was not a villian just it was just faith things didnt work out.

Just one fear that this person will contact me and throw abuse at me about things in the past. I have not attepmted to contact this person in 5 months or so,(somedays i really felt like contacting but didnt) i thought that the best option was to leave it rest but maybe this person is waiting to get over the exams and then contact me saying bad stuff to me. Something i dont want for my familys sake. IM so so so sorry about the past and cant the past be buried.

PTH2009

No Doctor in this world can help me with this i need to type the following out.

Im not a stalker, Im not a creep, I was foolish back all those months ago, i badly needed a good friend i thought that friend was the one. I drank way too much, people were gettin on to me about girlfriend ****e, I. i dont know why i was so clingy,(something in my past,afriad of losing this friend) i siad things that should of not been siad about my family life, personal issues etc. Im a person who hates saving i would buy a bird breadcrumbs i like buyin things for people it makes me feel good,i was just so happy to be out and about and i felt i have enogh and siad oh ill be nice and i will buy this friend crap just to be friendly not for anyones affections or anything like that. AFTER MONTHS OF THINKING I CAME UP WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WAS ALL 100% MY FAULT IM FEELING SO GOD DAMN DEPRESSED AND UPSET. Some People are dickheads and would make rumours if they saw too people hugging there only **** stirrers.

I would do anything just to have siad a proper friendler goodbye not the way it all ended i do start to get a bit upset when im in places me and the old friend were in when we were going around. I may not show the hurt physically but inside my heart is broken, theres only so much of this past friendship i can keep out of my head. I just find it hard to try and think a person is dead and forgotton about but there not there very healty alive.

GODS HONEST TRUTH I was not realizing i was making this person upset or thinking the wrong idea and if this person just siad sorry pal i dont think we should be doing this kind of stuff i didnt relize the fool i was making of myself and would of stopped immedialty and not look back even if people were saying ****e to me. I like many other people have a furous temper and say and do stuff i dont mean too when im angry like many other people do.

I felt terrible about what happend in the past, i know deep deep down in my heart the hurt will move away someday and someone else will come along.

There are people out there need mental help way more than i do, there are people starving in the world, people losing family members etc and my problems are bull****e compared to them and i do accept them in my head but its very difficult for me and is taking me time to get over this. I have a feeling i may encounter more upsetting feelings in my life time in the future.

When will the day come for me when my new lease of life starts.

Sorry i had to type this out sorry too the people on here who got the wrong idea about me and had running ins with. I belive time is a great healer and anyone who wants advice ill try and be there. Thanks for everything

ADVICE FOR PEOPLE DONT TRY TO HARD IN FRIENDSHIPS UNTIL YOU KNOW ITS RIGHT OR YOU WILL END UP DISAPPOINTED IN THE FUTURE RESPECT OTHER PEOPLES PRIVACY DONT BE TOO CLINGY LOOK FORWARD NOT BACKWARDS

LegacyUser

OP, a doctor *can* help you with this, and it's very important that you talk to one. You're obviously having difficulty handling this on your own, and after five months it's still causing you a good deal of distress. One initial visit to a GP won't cost very much - set the money aside or talk to your parents about borrowing it, and go get some professional advice to help you move past this and get back to enjoying your life.

Kimia

Op seriously, you need to see a doctor, or a mental health specialist. You literally sound insane. I'm sorry and I don't mean to cause offence but can you not see how crazy you sound? I have read some of your past posts and my mind boggles at how you can write this all out without having any idea of how it sounds. Surely you realise that you are not acting healthy and your posts are actually at times very alarming. (eg when you talk about voodoo curses and death)

Have you spoken to your parents about this? What do they think - what have they actually said to you? If I knew who you were I would tell your parents that I am extremely worried about you and that you sound disconnected from reality and could possibly be a danger to yourself and others. Please get some help.

anucksunamun

Kimia, I agree with you, the op is so out of touch with reality, if you wanted to find him you'd only have to have a read of his previous posts.. short of typing up his address.. its all in there. Not only that but he has absolutely no intention of doing anything about it.. every single thread repeats the same advice, over, and over, and over in different ways, everyone attempting to get through to the OP..

Nobody is going to come take your hand and bring you to the doctor and pay for you OP!!! you are working.. choose your mental health over these 'other things' you have to buy!!! when I said NO EXCUSE I meant it! theres no excuse for ignoring all the advice you have asked for, no excuse for deliberately misleading posters saying you were speaking to a professional, no excuse for wallowing in self pity when help is easily attainable if you would just seek it!! and finally Op, no excuse for posting up these diatribes after acknowledging how easily this girl would recognise you, and all this, from your posts, unless secretly thats what you hope will happen?.. she will feel awful and accept you back into her life?

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, EVER!!!

Stop deluding yourself OP, attaching all this emotion and turmoil to something which in the grand scheme of your life is such a small thing is so unhealthy.

Please seek help.

The Recliner

PTH2009 unless you are willing to accept the advice given in PI and actually do something to help yourself then this is not the place for you

PI is a place where people look for advice, it is not a place to just continue to post how you feel and ignore the efforts of people to help you, you can set up a blog for that

Please do not start another thread in PI unless you are actually willing to accept the well meaning advice given or you will be permanently banned