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Friend getting back with cheating boyfriend

  • 03-06-2010 10:14pm
    #1
    sashafierce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭


    This post has been deleted.


Comments

  • #2
    bigjohnny80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭bigjohnny80


    We'd probably need to know a little more about your friends attitude and attributes.

    If she is a strong, independently minded, liberal person then what she is doing is her own choice and leave her to it. Fidelity is a different thing these days.

    However if you are worried for her, if she's shy, introverted, open to being taken advantage of then yes I would have concerns.


  • #3
    sashafierce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


  • #4
    bigjohnny80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭bigjohnny80


    hmmm

    Hard to know what to do really, maybe leave her to it and gently steer her away without driving a wedge between ye?

    What do you think of him? Some lads do change with a bit of maturity, though many don't.

    Think its a bit harsh her 'family are telling her not to and saying they wont talk to her again and that he's not welcome in the house'


  • #5
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey OP,

    I think it's all very well hoping a friend doesn't get back with a cheating partner but the decision is hers and giving her ultimatums isn't on. She's the one that's risking getting cheated on again and she's the one that will have to deal with the consequences. Why on earth are people threatening not to speak to her if she goes out with him again, they don't sound like very good friends. :confused:

    Anyway, in short, I don't think you can do anything to convince a friend they are making a mistake if they have their mind made up. You can only give them your opinion and be there to pick up the pieces if and when things go pear shaped.

    Best of luck.


  • #6
    Moomoo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,960 ✭✭✭Moomoo1


    OP, you don't know why she's getting back with him. Maybe she just wants someone to sleep with until she finds someone more trustworthy.

    so you cannot really make those judgements.


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  • #7
    sashafierce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


  • #8
    sashafierce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


  • #9
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    sashafierce wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Why do people have violent partners or alcoholics or take back serial cheaters or a zillion other things - because it's their life to live as they see fit, however destructive, however crazy or irrational it appears to everyone else. She knows how everyone feels, she knows what he said - what else can you do? :(


  • #10
    HavingCrack
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,847 ✭✭✭HavingCrack


    sashafierce wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    She won't. Seriously the amount of ****te you hear off women about their boyfriends/husbands cheating on them, being arseholes to them etc. (same boyfriends they go back to time after time however) is unbelievable.

    The only person who can make her wake up and smell the coffee is herself.


  • #11
    skooterblue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭skooterblue


    "It take two people to lie, one to tell it and another to believe it" Homer Simpson.

    Something similar here, He is what he is, a person who has a serious disposition to cheating, then she is a person seriously attracted to a person who has a disposition to cheating. Its chemistry, yes is illogical but it is the way they are and she is old enough and should have enough sense to see this.

    You have warned her and she has to take responsibility for her actions. She cant take responsibility for his actions but for her own. Not a lot you can do, sorry.


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