What is a job worth?

LegacyUser

Hey,

Im just looking for some advice on what to do. Im 26 and Im currently working. The only thing is the job is making me absolutly miserable. Im bullied, treated like dirt by management and while Im doing as much as I possibly can on a daily basis it still isnt enough. Ive complained to senior management but nothing was or will be done. Ive gone round and round in circles with them. I tried for a promotion but said bully prevented me from getting it, Ive asked to be moved to a different site only to be told no.
I know this might seem cheeky or rude to those that are out of work and 'im lucky to have a job' but the reality of it is much different. Im loosing sleep, constantly stressed and either crying or irritable. Ive looked for other positions but I cant find any as I have no qualifications.
I was going to try do a course but now they have changed my working hours so that isnt possible either.
I cant quit and stay at home as the parents are in the middle of a messy divorce and are selling the house.
I really just feel so trapped.

Denimgirl

First of all I can't believe they told you the bully prevented you from getting a promotion !!that in it's self is out of order,listening to a bully to determine your future in a company!!I know what your going through though,first of all count yourself lucky that you don't have a mortage that would keep you there! don't stay in a job if your not happy your mental well being and health is much more important,why don't you start looking at courses you want to do and start applying for them,Companies are starting back to treat employees like crap again because they know theres no jobs out there!but if you decide to leave to do a course a trade would be great and will always stand by you!when you decide to leave before you tell them your going spend a few weeks putting in complaints about the bully write everything down what she says and does contact employment rights 1890808090 tell them your situation go out of that company with a bang! and make sure everybody knows what she is before you leave!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply.

Id need money to do a course though. Thats something I dont have, it also means if I leave said job Ill be homeless when the house is sold.

It doesnt make a difference how many people I complain to within the company, they just trot out the oul well we tried to mediate line.

Kidchameleon

Similar situation myself op. I'm trapped also, not great advice maybe but Ive learned to grin and bear it. Do my hours in the place and when I clock out, that's it, forgotten till the next day...

Feel for you op...

Kid.

wylo

...

changes

If its so bad that its making you i'll and you don't have a mortgage or family to support then if i were you i'd use this time to get qualified in something you would like to work in 5 or so yrs from now.

Years can slip by and you can find yourself looking back over 10 years and saying what the hell am i still doing here??

Or you could stick it out till you get somethin else the resession won't last forever

Kidchameleon

Oh by the way, I'm doing a study at home course with the Open University, its expensive but at least I can work any hours...

Denimgirl

Superstressed wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

Id need money to do a course though. Thats something I dont have, it also means if I leave said job Ill be homeless when the house is sold.

It doesnt make a difference how many people I complain to within the company, they just trot out the oul well we tried to mediate line.

What about fas courses theres some great courses there now great trades. you could then do a part time job in the evenings if thats allowed!?There is a way around this,I know how miserable it is to be in a job when things are not going well and it's not nice! you'll find a way.

tenchi-fan

Hi
I'm 28 now and the amount of horrible jobs I've worked in. And yes, even now it annoyed me when someone says "you're lucky to have a job" because with a 3-4 hour daily commute and the sun splitting the stones outside, I would have loved to head to the beergarden!

Managers *can* be bad. They're grand in my current job. They were quite obnoxious but not particularly mean in a previous job... and in other places they are just out to get you. You'll probably find that colleagues can be a lot worse in some jobs. And even if your workmates are grand.. it might be your customers. Or the accountants, auditors, health inspector or tax man.

I think you need to figure out a way to not let things get you down. Even if it means trying to make things up with your manager. Trying to go over your manager's head will not make you any friends no matter what way you try to do it.. they got to that position for a reason. [edit: and just to add, the fact you tried to change site and were refused actually proves this point. I believe them when they said they tried to mediate. Perhaps it's the culture in the company... however if you can't change the company, maybe try changing yourself]

Some managers will actually respect you more if you say something and don't take all the crap (just do not lock horns with anyone because it has not worked so far). Or you might try to do the minimum. turn up on time, work 7.5 hours.. and then when you do something out of the way make sure your manager acknowledges it. You might even try to catch your manager off guard by offering him/her a cup of tea and asking if they have anything planned for the weekend! It sounds a bit daft, I know, but managers are people too. Just try to play the game.

S23

Very tough situation you are in. You can't leave because you are hugely financially unstable if you do. While I'm all for not getting walked all over and sticking up for yourself theres no point in making yourself homeless and destitute in the process.

Re-training is a good idea but as you said its expensive. The Open University is a good idea. I've been doing a course but it is a bit pricey. However, you can do it at your own pace.

Also, re-training isn't everything. There are literally thousands of people in every trade who are unemployed now. You may find yourself training yourself in a new skill and thats great. But keep in mind you are very likely to find yourself competing for jobs against people who have the same training as you as well as a few years experience on top of that.

The sad truth is that, and this is pragmatism not pessemism, while the recession won't last forever it will more than likely last a good few years yet and then theres a period of readjustment to climb out of the slump too.

People won't like to hear it but we're looking at another 10-15 years minimum before we can even think about getting ourselves back anywhere near where we were.

Also, you can do a FAS course and earn a limited amount of money from a part-time job in the evenings. However, you're not guaranteed to find a part-time job either!

Also, another factor, your entitlement to unemployment benefits etc.. will be affected by you voluntarily choosing to leave your job. The government isn't going to ask you about your feelings or the stress you are under. They are just going to see a person leaving a job at a time when somewhere in the region of 440,000 are unemployed then that same person sticking their hand out for a few quid unemployment benefit having just left a job of their own free will

Its not as black and white as that in reality, I know, but thats what they are going to see.

These are hard times financially but this is taking a toll on your personally. Its a tough one to call. You need to really sit down and look at your savings, earnings and what you can and can't afford.

If the worst came to the worst could you work out a plan to save a sufficient amount of money within a certain timeframe to enable you to go on and do something else? Like could you save 5k in a year? 10k even?
I've no idea what you are earning so those amounts might seem achievable or ludicrous to you.

If you could put a plan together to say (and I'm just pulling figures out of the air here for the sake of an example) save €16k in 2 years and you knew that would enable you to follow some other course of action then it might make your life more bareable knowing you had a goal you were homing in on.

bigjohnny80

I'm trying to play devils advocate here..

OP do you think in any way that possibly you are contributing to what is happening. Yes mgmt are a pain but generally if there is a clear case of bullying, in most companies action is certainly taken. Have you taken a step back and considered if you are overreacting or winding people up.

Do you find that generally you would have a negative attitude in work?

Also sometimes just taking a week off and escaping from work brings a world of relief!! Can you do this? The thing is that if you do, you have to promise and make yourself not think about work for that week..

tenchi-fan

about the retraining idea... hmm. I wouldn't recommend leaving a full-time job to return to full-time education unless you were guaranteed a well-paid job at the end of it.

An awful lot of people in this country are doing their second degree, another fas course, and even staying on the dole for a year without working in the hope they will get the back to education allowance. Then they'll be surprised when prospective employers continue to employ people with good work experience over a bunch of courses.

Steamer

Op, I totally understand what you are going through. I went through the same myself and it was a nightmare. You're mental health etc is very important and being miserable all the time is not worth it.

I understand that posters are saying to suck it up etc but it is very difficult. You spend your week depressed at work, by the sounds of it you are working more than the required working day. You then go home pissed off etc and stressed out. That goes on for 5 day. Then saturday is a relief but sunday is awful because you can't sleep with the thought of going back to work!!

I was able to move because it was different times but I did often think of just walking out on the job. I hung in there until I got another job.

How about going to your doctor and taking a week off work with stress? People do this and screw your employer. Once you have done this, take the time to do up your CV and apply to every job going that you think you could work in. You might be lucky to get a job, you may not. It will be a slow process but at least you will have started the process. I would then walk into work the next week like a different person and work your core hours and then leave.

Do not make waves, seem just like you don't give a crap how they treat you because it doesn't affect you. Hard to do but that will make this "bully" very uncomfortable because you are not affected by them.

No harm in asking for feedback on why you didn't get the promotion from HR either. You are entitled to it.

Bit of a long post but just try to hang on in there. It is very hard, I really feel for you. Just out of curiosity, is your office mainly women? They are the hardest to work with because can be very bitchy. Men don't seem to be as affected.

LegacyUser

hey all, thanks for the feedback. No I don't think its me that's causing the bullying. It was literally a case of it was fine one week, I went on holiday, the bully came on scene and when I came back I was completely blanked, my work constantly commented on etc. Without going into too much detail the bully found out I had applied for promotion and made waves with management so they didn't want to cause tension sine it's a very small team.

Yes its mostly women, I also find Im having more problems with female management as they tend to micro manage far too much.

I tried to do an open university and found it very hard to keep track of when assignments are due. I just don't know what to do. I feel I should retrain since the market is flooded with people with degrees etc and I have none. I would probably be looked over in favour of someone with a degree. Also what should I train in? I've no real interests I could get a career in, but add to that what's a good area to go into that's somewhat stable?
Ive no idea where to get any kind of direction. Saving isn't really on the cards as I make a very poor wage, just above minimum.

Sorry for the long post
I'm cracking up in there and I can't do all that management want me to, IVe asked them to reduce my workload but it again fell on deaf ears.

Denimgirl

Superstressed wrote: »

hey all, thanks for the feedback. No I don't think its me that's causing the bullying. It was literally a case of it was fine one week, I went on holiday, the bully came on scene and when I came back I was completely blanked, my work constantly commented on etc. Without going into too much detail the bully found out I had applied for promotion and made waves with management so they didn't want to cause tension sine it's a very small team.

Yes its mostly women, I also find Im having more problems with female management as they tend to micro manage far too much.

I tried to do an open university and found it very hard to keep track of when assignments are due. I just don't know what to do. I feel I should retrain since the market is flooded with people with degrees etc and I have none. I would probably be looked over in favour of someone with a degree. Also what should I train in? I've no real interests I could get a career in, but add to that what's a good area to go into that's somewhat stable?
Ive no idea where to get any kind of direction. Saving isn't really on the cards as I make a very poor wage, just above minimum.

Sorry for the long post
I'm cracking up in there and I can't do all that management want me to, IVe asked them to reduce my workload but it again fell on deaf ears.

In the states physical therapy and speech therapy are great trades you'll get a well paid job anywhere if your young enough to put a few years work to it!

sambuka41

You should leave your job ASAP!!! No job is worth that much stress and upset. I was in a similar situation to you and I would say that bullying can strip you of your confidence, very subtly (sometimes not so subtly). I found that it wasn't until I made the decision to leave that i fully recognized how low my self esteem was,all as a result of the sly bitchy bullying,the type of bullying that women are very good at!!! (im female before anyone goes mad and i happen to know quite a bit about the subject of bullying so that wasn't a general comment)

So I could be wrong but the bullying could be affecting your confidence re finding other jobs as well as trying to make big decisions about career and future. Maybe prioritize getting another job any type that you could get for the meantime and then after when your out of the negative environment look at what you'd like to do.

Denimgirl

sambuka41 wrote: »

You should leave your job ASAP!!! No job is worth that much stress and upset. I was in a similar situation to you and I would say that bullying can strip you of your confidence, very subtly (sometimes not so subtly). I found that it wasn't until I made the decision to leave that i fully recognized how low my self esteem was,all as a result of the sly bitchy bullying,the type of bullying that women are very good at!!! (im female before anyone goes mad and i happen to know quite a bit about the subject of bullying so that wasn't a general comment)

So I could be wrong but the bullying could be affecting your confidence re finding other jobs as well as trying to make big decisions about career and future. Maybe prioritize getting another job any type that you could get for the meantime and then after when your out of the negative environment look at what you'd like to do.

Your so right Sambuka I had a right bitch bullying me for 2 years and nobody would do anything about it she dragged me down I felt terrible going in every morning. she would ask me whats wrong with me that i looked very sick on days when i felt great and looked great that was just mild things she did!it got worse and was telling management that i would leave unless i got a pay rise which i never said such a thing.I was so glad to leave there I would have cracked up!I do think you should leave!

soups05

op,i feel for you, i really do. i suffered bullying in the workplace for a long time. then a friend put me in contact with a solictor. he got details from me of the work projects i had completed,the commendations recieved etc before the bully and the complete change when the bully started to work there.

i was able to document depression ( which you may have) stress etc. i was able to show that despite my work quality being of a high standard i was being passed over for promotion and being forced to work longer hours and weekends to correct mistakes made by the bully.

when the solictor gathered all this and wrote to the company threating constructive(?) dismissal the bully was hauled over the coals and made to take an anger mangement course.

things improved a hell of a lot and i stayed with the company for another 6 years.

if you get a solictor to claim your leaving because of the bullying it may help sort it out. or if you can stick it out long enough to gather proof then you may have a case for compensation which would go a long way to funding a training course.

good luck with whatever you choose.

sambuka41

soups05 wrote: »

op,i feel for you, i really do. i suffered bullying in the workplace for a long time. then a friend put me in contact with a solictor. he got details from me of the work projects i had completed,the commendations recieved etc before the bully and the complete change when the bully started to work there.

i was able to document depression ( which you may have) stress etc. i was able to show that despite my work quality being of a high standard i was being passed over for promotion and being forced to work longer hours and weekends to correct mistakes made by the bully.

when the solictor gathered all this and wrote to the company threating constructive(?) dismissal the bully was hauled over the coals and made to take an anger mangement course.

things improved a hell of a lot and i stayed with the company for another 6 years.

if you get a solictor to claim your leaving because of the bullying it may help sort it out. or if you can stick it out long enough to gather proof then you may have a case for compensation which would go a long way to funding a training course.

good luck with whatever you choose.

This is brilliant!!! It is so nice to know that the bully doesn't always get away with it!! Fair play to you for sticking it out and standing your ground.

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Thanks for all the replies. The solicitor thing wont work since I went to management and they did what is required by law to cover their own asses. The company I work for is very good at doing things they shouldnt but doing the bare minimum to make sure they are covered legally.
I know the recession wont last forever but it really feels like forever when youre stuck.

Superstressed

Superstressed wrote: »

Hey,

Im just looking for some advice on what to do. Im 26 and Im currently working. The only thing is the job is making me absolutly miserable. Im bullied, treated like dirt by management and while Im doing as much as I possibly can on a daily basis it still isnt enough. Ive complained to senior management but nothing was or will be done. Ive gone round and round in circles with them. I tried for a promotion but said bully prevented me from getting it, Ive asked to be moved to a different site only to be told no.
I know this might seem cheeky or rude to those that are out of work and 'im lucky to have a job' but the reality of it is much different. Im loosing sleep, constantly stressed and either crying or irritable. Ive looked for other positions but I cant find any as I have no qualifications.
I was going to try do a course but now they have changed my working hours so that isnt possible either.
I cant quit and stay at home as the parents are in the middle of a messy divorce and are selling the house.
I really just feel so trapped.

My sympathies with you OP because i suppose its now an employers market and they are really taking the piss in a lot of these jobs. Rights have gone out the window and human beings are now stretched to their extreme emotional and physical limit. Anything you are miserable in you are not 'lucky to have'. you are denying yourself the life you want, and the life you can achieve. keep and open mind to widening your skill set and don't give up. there is always a window out there.