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worth staying with him?

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  • 02-06-2010 5:45pm
    #1
    gayguy2009
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭


    I've been going out with my bf 3 months now and i'm starting to get annoyed with him, he's such a nice guy and I love him but some things he does makes me think he isnt interested. I only see him once every 2 weeks for starters, he also never really texts me. Like if I text him he doesnt text back. I understand if he's really busy or at work or something, but he doesn't text me back when he's finished what he's doing. Id text him a few days later again and he txts me once or twice then the cycle begins again. Another thing that is really annoying he's always cancelling things at last second although usually its to do with work. I just don't see a point in being with him if i never see him. Anyone else in a relationship like this?


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    #2
    Emme
    Registered Users Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    It depends on the level of commitment you're looking for from him. Is your boyfriend married/has a girlfriend and still in the closet? That would explain why you see him so infrequently and he doesn't text back. Eitherways it doesn't sound good unless you're happy to be second best.


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    #3
    Denimgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    Get away from him while it's still early days and while you don't fall for him any deeper.he sounds like a user and a player, healthy relationships are not about people being treated like this.Please break up with him he's not worth it,it will all end in tears.


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi,

    i just wanted to let you know that i was in a very similar situation for the past 7 months and it has now ended in tears. i only saw him once every 2 weeks and although it bothered me, i let it go. I would say get out of the relationship while you can. if he cares he will make the effort. unfortunately i had to learn the very hard way........


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Exact same thing but from a guys perspective. After the initial chase (by her) contact was always initiated by me and could be waiting a day or two for a reply.

    Was wrecking my head that the only time I'd get a text would be if I sent one, never got a call and she cancelled or changed every single plan we'd (normally she'd) made. Started getting the feeling I was fairly low down on the priorities list.

    Didn't say anything as I'm very easy going and though we'd know each other a long time it was early days as far as a relationship was concerned so not joined at the hip or anything.

    Contact became so minimal that the thought crossed my mind that maybe I'm meant to be taking some hint? Each time we did meet, normally every second week I sort of half expected her to say it wasn't working but instead I'd get the complete opposite. Very confusing and not enjoyable.

    OP a relationship is meant to be fun, and you're BOTH supposed to make a bit of an effort, ESPECIALLY in the early days.

    The way I looked at it was if I was prepared to change plans to suit her, do my best to see her, try to stay in touch (not every 5 minutes but at least once every second day!) she could make a bit more of an effort herself.

    In the end got what I expected, a text saying too busy to fit me in, this was after a week of not hearing from her and only in reply to a text asking was she ok? No indication was given before this, in fact the opposite as she'd asked me to go on a holiday with her at the end of the summer the last time we met.

    However although I'm not a paranoid person in the end it just rang false and my gut instincts said all was not well. The signals were just too mixed and although I was disappointed with the way I was just ignored and blanked by a former friend I was also very relieved. Was gutted at the start as I'd really started to fall for her, but was far too headwrecking and exhausting trying to figure out what the hell was going on in her head.

    Single again the last few months, the sting and disappointment have started wearing off and now just enjoying a non head wrecking summer. Far less stressful :)


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    #6
    TitoPuente
    Closed Accounts Posts: 549 ✭✭✭TitoPuente


    If you feel like you're being treated like crap and the actions of your OH suggest that you are - then you are. Walk away. DO NOT learn the hard way.


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    #7
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    I would end it. If he isn't making an effort why would you want to be with him? If you want to see or talk to someone you will make time. Sorry but it sounds like he couldn't give a sh*t.

    End it. You will get over it and be free to meet a guy who actually cares.


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