Unsure

LegacyUser

I have always considered myself straight and I have only ever been with men. But recently when I was drunk and out in a gay bar I met another girl who intrigued me. She asked me if I was gay or not and I replied to my surprise that I wasn't sure. So we talked and I discovered that she was a really smart professional which I found appealling. She was also very pretty and not at all butch. One thing lead to another and we ended up having a one night stand. While it was happening, I kept thinking to myself that it didn't feel right. But I was curious and so continued. Once it finished I got up straight away and left. My gut reaction was that this is not for me. I didn't want to stay until morning with her. I showered once I got home and I couldn't fall asleep. I felt so ashamed, dirty and disgusting.

It is still wrecking my head. I am scared that I have uncovered something that I now can't cover up again. I keep asking myself if I am now actually gay? She was a really nice girl and intelligent, but I didn't like being with her. Yet, a tiny part of me wants to know more about her and see her again.

Surely if I am gay, I wouldn't have felt so disgusted by what happened? This has never happened to me before.

Help!

shellyboo

Sexuality is not black and white, there are many many shades of grey. It's entirely possible to be sexually attracted to women and still be sexually attracted to men, or only want to be in relationships and have sex with men.

You have nothing to feel ashamed or dirty or disgusting about - but if it made you feel bad, don't do it again. One encounter doesn't make you gay, it makes you curious.

LegacyUser

yes, sexuality is not extreme, it's a continuum. we all have different degree of homsexuality inside us. i am sure i love men, but a sexy touch by a female would excite me (experienced myself).

we all have curiousity. now you clearly know that it makes you feel uncomfortable, although she has all goods and you are curious about her, it means nothing.

relax a little bit, no worries and surely you are fine.

Denimgirl

Your defo not gay if you feel like that! It was an experience thats all! many woman fantasize about it but don't act it out!I remember in my last job i worked with lots of girls and we'd be talking about what girl would change us for the night and all said Angelina Joely these were girls that were in long term relationships and some married with kids but just were really honest!some people act out there fantasys and some just keep it as one thats all.Don;t lose any sleep over it.

greenprincess

You really didnt do anything wrong or to be ashamed of! You tried something you didnt like it, just put it down to experience and move on. We all try things we dont like in life and learn from it