feel like a bad person all the time

LegacyUser

does anyone just...not like the way they are?
I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and obsessing over the fact that they are better than me.
I don't mean looks, I'm perfectly happy with my looks, it's that other people are just so much nicer than me!!

Like for example I'm 31, no kids but some of my friends do. I look at them and they have so much patience, and love and they do everything for their husband/kids and are so happy. I feel like I could never be that self-less and warm and sacrifice everything. I spend all my time looking after me and I'm scared I'll never have what it takes to me a mum...if I ever get the chance to be one.

Then, at work, I do work hard. I'm in, I suppose you could say, a knowledge job, so I don't have to break my back or anything anyway and I get my work done, but I feel lazy compared to my colleagues...I have the odd browse on the net...few fag breaks etc. I've no proof that anyone else is working harder than me, but I'm so paranoid about it.
I have a boyfriend, but I feel like I'm not even a good girlfriend. I love him but I'm scared of committment and I don't want to live with him because he's a good bit younger than me and I'm afraid I'll end up paying for everything and tidying up all the time...how selfish is that?! Plus, even though we've been together 3 years and I've never cheated, I fantasise about other guys quite a bit...which is wrong but I can't help it! I'm awful. How could I ever get married or anything the way I am? I'm scared to take the relationship to the next level because I don't trust myself...I've actually never cheated on anyone but I'm frightened of monogomy...yet again, selfish and shallow.

Then I go out most weekends and have a good few drinks, acting like a big eejit and then feeling mortified about things I've said even though it's never really bad or anything and I see people acting a lot worse. Plus I spend my money on nights out and stupid clothes and make up that I don't need when I've debts to pay.

I just feel bad about everything all the time.
I know it seems like a small problem but, put it this way, I lie awake at night worrying because I feel awful about myself, worrying about the things I have said to people and the way I constantly put my foot in it! I worry that if I met me, I wouldnt like me. I can't even see anything worth liking.

The people envy thing has gone beyond a joke...to me, everyone is a better/nicer person than me. I do nothing for anyone. I looked up about doing volunteering in my area but my job is one where I have to travel around a lot and I never have a schedule I can commit to.
I hear alot of people worried about the way they look...but what about if youre worried about the way you are? How can I make myself into a better person?

Snowie

it could be worse, at least you see that you do wrong others have no sight of what they do, at all.

Which, is way worse. Maybe you see your self as a bad person due to cheating on your boyfriend, which has snowballed into how you see your self with in your life?

There are steps people can take to silance that kind of self critical thinking.

Soul Stretcher

Do you think you could be suffering from a low-level of Depression over quite a length of time ?

I think a good Counsellor could help you if you told them what you've told us.

fasty

I used to feel like that a lot. Sometimes I still do. Some counselling helped, but really talking to friends and family helped me more.

You need to stop beating yourself up over these things. Feeling guilty, worrying that you're being bad, these feelings are getting you nowhere and they're exaggerated!