Your opinion on this pairing

haveacigar

Hello. I was wondering what your opinion is on this. I've started dating a girl who is smaller in height than myself (which is nice) but is wider in the shoulders and has wider arms than me. Whilst she is a healthy weight it feels just slightly unusual as I'm a slim guy and I normaly much prefer girls who are slimmer than me. That said I do like this girl and I'm definitely on for continuing dating and seeing what happens. Whilst I might sound shallow none of us can help what we're normally into or not into. My question is should I try to forget / repress my usual issue with this (possibly resulting in stringing her along / wasting her time if I cant get over it)?

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Dump her it'll never work!

Seriously, don't sweat the small stuff, something like that shouldn't be an issue if you like her.

And even more seriously, don't ask a serious question in AH, try here OP

Ardennes1944

theres no point in fooling yourself if thats what your normally into. your never gonna be as attracted or as comfortable with her. i was the exact same

biko

Just go with it. If it works it works, if not it's not like you're getting married just yet.

Mr Benevolent

I can see it now. 'Listen love, your shoulders are too wide and I'm not into that. In short, you're dumped.' How come her wider shoulders didn't stop you dating in the first place? That smacks of double standards. I suspect this objection is a crappy excuse to get out of a relationship you regretted getting into in the first place. Be a man and tell her the real truth, not some ridiculous lie about shoulders.

haveacigar

Thanks for all the advice so far. Its only the early stages of dating so I think its worthwhile seeing what hapens generally and for me to aim to get over this probably silly hangup of my own. Thanks re your feedback Confab - the truth is that the first few times we met she had blouses etc that did'nt really show shoulders or arms hence my sillly hangup was'nt there then. Also I most certainly would'nt mention this hangup of mine if I was to end it :-)

haveacigar

Thanks for all the advice so far. Its only the early stages of dating so I think its worthwhile seeing what hapens generally and for me to aim to get over this probably silly hangup of my own. Thanks re your feedback Confab - the truth is that the first few times we met she had blouses etc that did'nt really show shoulders or arms hence my sillly hangup was'nt there then. Also I most certainly would'nt mention this hangup of mine if I was to end it :-)

Kimia

Wow picky much? How about the rest of her - personality, looks, values etc. No, her shoulders are too wide so nah, don't want to go out with her anymore. I wonder does she feel like dumping you because you're too skinny? How would you feel about that?

I don't mean to be mean, but its disappointing to hear of someone breaking up with someone over something so shallow!

Emme

OP, maybe she's asking her friends the question "Is it ok to date a very tall skinny guy who has a smaller upper body than me?"

My advice is let this girl go to somebody who will appreciate her fully.

LegacyUser

Ever thought of bulking up your own shoulders OP?

Seriously, this girl deserves so much better than you. How shallow of you to have an issue with the width of someones shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the best I've ever heard!
Dump her. For her own sake.

shellyboo

The OP's problem is quite clearly not with the size of the gf's shoulders, it's that his are smaller in comparison. He thinks that the man should be bigger, which is actually pretty common, and in fact, fairly natural.

OP, people won't bat an eyelid at the difference in your shoulder sizes, in fact I highly doubt anyone but you will notice. You're no less of a man cos her shoulders and arms are broader than yours, and she's no less of a woman. Don't fret and just enjoy the relationship.

BettePorter

[QUOTE=the first few times we met she had blouses etc :-)[/QUOTE]

never mind her shoulders.......she should dump you for using the term 'blouse'


seriously though, are you just trying to say she's a big lass and thats why you don't fancy her........i mean who describes a girl as 'having wider shoulders than me' ???? you either fancy her or you don't, don't lead her on.

haveacigar

Thanks for all your feedback. I think I may have been misunderstood here but not to worry. Thanks also Shellyboo I think you understand my question best. It is probably a very silly hangup on my part but guys like to feel that they are a bigger size in comparison to their partner. I'm not in any way denegrating this girl, shes great. I'm pretty much criticising my own hangup but at the same time wondering what other people feel the same way re a slightly smaller guy compared to their partner. I'm not about to end things and its early days anyway. Anyway thanks for all feedback :-)

LegacyUser

It seems the problem is with you not her. How would you like it if she considered dumping you because you had puny, weak shoulders? No offence OP but if a womens shoulders are bigger than yours then unless shes quite overweight, your obviously very slight for a man. Why blame her for that? Get yourself to a gym and dont blame your girlfriend. If shes of a normal weight then its not her fault and it is you who must be very underweight or physically very weak.

haveacigar

Hello. It appears there is still some misunderstanding as to my question. The criticism that I have is indeed levelled at myself and I'm asking should I forget this silly hangup with the small risk that I might not be able to get over it (albeit aknowledging that its daft). Anyway apart from being shot down in falmes from some for asking a question I know that I'm just being daft and I aint about to end it :-). For the record I'm a normal boarding on slim build for all those seeing fit to pass insult ;-)

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

There's nothing wrong in not being attracted to someone, it's not something you have control over after all. I decided before I got with my current boyfriend that I wanted a big manly man, my current bf is 6foot 4", call me shallow if you will but he still makes my toes curl after 4 years. I don't see a point in being with someone if you're not attracted to them. There's no point in going out with someone that's lovely if you dont' fancy them. If you stay with her you'll end up stringing her along just because you don't want to be seen as shallow? That's way more shallow than dumping her coz you don't fancy her. So all in all, do what you want, be with someone you fancy and don't feel shallow because you're not attracted to somoene.

Best of luck.