Worry over nothing

LegacyUser

I love my other half to bits, but there is one tiny thing that annoys me about her and it's the fact that she's a very flirty person all the time with people.

For example a few weeks ago we had a bit of an argument because she was talking to some guy she didn't know in work and he bought her 6 drinks so she was sitting with him after work.

Is this harmless or should I worry? I know I wouldn't accept drinks off a girl and I'd tell her straight away I had a girlfriend because the way I see it is guys only buy drinks for one reason. Should I mention this or get over it? I do trust my girlfriend this just bothers me.

Mr Benevolent

jealous guy wrote: »

I love my other half to bits, but there is one tiny thing that annoys me about her and it's the fact that she's a very flirty person all the time with people.

For example a few weeks ago we had a bit of an argument because she was talking to some guy she didn't know in work and he bought her 6 drinks so she was sitting with him after work.

Is this harmless or should I worry? I know I wouldn't accept drinks off a girl and I'd tell her straight away I had a girlfriend because the way I see it is guys only buy drinks for one reason. Should I mention this or get over it? I do trust my girlfriend this just bothers me.

Impossible to answer without knowing her tbh. I know a flirty girl who is utterly attached to her bf and would never cheat. I knew one who did though. Just talk to her about it and get a straight answer. If she convinces you, fine. If not... I dunno, it depends on her track record really.

LegacyUser

jealous guy wrote: »

because the way I see it is guys only buy drinks for one reason.

Men do lots of things to get a woman. Most men know the tricks, and this is why fathers are so protective of their daughters. All women can see is a man being chivalrous, and this is why mothers think the 'new boyfriend' is charming.

Your girlfriend probably doesn't realise that this guy is trying to get into her pants. I'm assuming she's let this guy know she has a boyfriend, and that's what's stopping her from realising what he's up to.

In her head 'He knows I have a boyfriend, so that means we're just friends'.
In his head 'She's accepting drinks from me, I'm in here!!'.
In your head 'That pr*ck is using all the tricks I used to use to get a woman. And he's using them on my girlfriend!!'.

If your girlfriend has given you reason to be suspicious before, talk to her about it. If she treats you well, doesn't play mind games, then take her word. She's with you, not with Mr Bartender.

Eve_Dublin

unregistered wrote: »

Men do lots of things to get a woman. Most men know the tricks, and this is why fathers are so protective of their daughters. All women can see is a man being chivalrous, and this is why mothers think the 'new boyfriend' is charming.

Most women know very well when men are working their magical powers on them but they choose to pretend to be oblivious.

LegacyUser

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Most women know very well when men are working their magical powers on them but they choose to pretend to be oblivious.

Well if the OP's girlfriend likes to pretend she's oblivious with her boyfriend looking on, I'd say dump her ass!

whatsamsn

One aspect of having a flirty GF is that mistakes can happen ... We're all human ... If she is accepting all this attention from guys who want to get into her pants, buying her drinks and what not. From her behavior I would be worried.

Shes getting drunk and she could slip up. Shes putting herself in those situations. And thats while putting her in the "flirty but loyal to the bf" type.


On the other side of the coin you just never know where the "flirty" type stands. Some are loyal and could never do anything, others say "i'll never cheat" but end up doing so. Their flirty behavior isnt just who they are, its there intentions showing through.

Either way, its very uncomfortable behavior to be doing to a partner. I'd have a talk to her about it.

Trashbat

HI OP,

Does she not realist that accepting drinks from someone is sending out an incorrect message.

The chivalry aspect of a man buying all the drinks is something that should be reserved for a date or at least the search for a potential partner. In my opinion, if two friends are sitting togerher having a drink, they go in rounds.

I would talk to your OH about this, as she may not realise the message she's sending out.

I hope its as simple as that, but I've known girls to relish the attention of another man chasing them, and that is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. these are the people who call cheating "a little mistake", rather than someone who knows boundaries and would never dream of cheating.

Hope all goes well.

LegacyUser

OP here,

Thanks for the replies so far. Just to point out a couple of things which may change people's opinions. I trust her 100%. I'm not asking can I trust her, more so am I wrong to be getting annoyed by these things?

I don't think she goes out of her way to flirt with guys. Like she's just naturally a flirty person I think.

In relation to the drinks being bought for her I don't think she saw it in the same way I did as a male. She did tell the guy from the get go that she had a boyfriend. The more I think about it the less harm I see in it.