to invite or not to invite!!!!!

Loopsie

Hey all
Just looking for some opinions and ill try and make this brief as possible!
Met a guy few months back, everything was rosy and about 2 weeks ago he said he needed some space he didnt know if he wanted the kind of relationship that it was developing into and was thinking of travelling etc. I was heartbroken but didnt fight it, just let him go.........got a text from him about 2 days after saying he was finding things really hard because he did like me and he would miss me and it wasnt an easy decision for him to make, i just texted back saying i just wanted him to be happy even if that meant without me
Didnt hear anymore from him until i was out saturday night for my birthday (we have lots of mutual friends) and bumped into one fo his best friends who started telling me how he regretted his decision and was really not happy about us being apart.......anyways i did nothing, sunday was my birthday and i got a text from him saying happy birthday etc etc how are you! and i wrote back that ive been great and told him about something that reminded me of him during the week! Few texts back and forth, really nice and funny and his last text to me was 'well hopefully ill see you in the near future'........that kind of took me off guard and i replied saying you never know
Anyways my questions are as follows.....
1) do you think him saying that meant anything???? being completely honest i adore this guy and would love to be with him but wanted to give him his space
and
2) im having a birthday party on saturday in my folks, do you think i should casually invite him to come???

Thanks guys! xx

Miss Fluff

Loopsie wrote: »

Hey all
Just looking for some 2) im having a birthday party on saturday in my folks, do you think i should casually invite him to come???

Read that again Loopsie. Do you really mean casually? I doubt it. You're probably harbouring hopes of a reconciliation by inviting him. There's nothing wrong with that.

To me it does sound like he may regret it. You sound like a lovely girl and he sounds like a fool for letting you go. But if he wants space, give him the space. Give him ALL the space in the world. If he wants to get back with you then I would let him put in the leg-work. Not to be harsh here but he dumped you. And he hurt your feelings. So it is all very well hearing it second-hand and through the bush telegraph that he misses you, and it's all very well sending you sweet texts etc, but I wouldn't make a reconcilation that easy for him so that he can then turn around and dump you again.

And my one final golden chestnut of advice. Cynical Miss Fluff here suspects that he may just be trying to engineer a situation where he can get you into bed. Read this sentence back again:

Met a guy few months back, everything was rosy and about 2 weeks ago he said he needed some space he didnt know if he wanted the kind of relationship that it was developing into and was thinking of travelling etc.

Unless things have changed, he no longer wants to go travelling, and wants a full-on relationship with you then what is the alternative? Because if he doesn't want the relationship it was developing into then I presume he just wants to hang out and have casual sex when it suits until he f8cks off again.....you decide hon

And no, I wouldn't invite him to your birthday. He deemed you not important enough to have a relationship with so why should he be important enough to invite to your birthday?

Denimgirl

i would'nt invite him the reason being is your right give him his space!if he says i heard you had a party say i was gonna invite you but thought you needed some space and did'nt want to put you in a position that you felt youhad to go.I think your in a control seat here coz you have'nt chased him after he made his decision t break up with you and it's kinda getting to him! he obviously knew you loved him but thought you would'nt give up without a fight!I think your doing great and keep doing it! if he wants you back he's gonna have to pull out all stops and fight for your effections again!

LegacyUser

Hey Loopse,
my advice to u would be to leave it be.... he broke up with you, if he is now regreting that then let HIM come back to U!! so he said maybe he will see u soon?? let him make it happen.
their is my 2 cents! Good Luck.

LegacyUser

Denimgirl wrote: »

he obviously knew you loved him but thought you would'nt give up without a fight!I think your doing great and keep doing it!

agree whole-heartedly with this. You've bruised his ego by not chasing after him, so now he's putting out the feelers to see if he can get you back again without having to actually ask you face to face.
He's not worth your time, forget about him!

Loopsie

Thanks guys!
My heart wants to invite him but my head tells me NO!!!! CONFLICT!!!
i know i should always trust my gut with these things and i dont doubt for a second that he does really care about me, this guy isnt a messer by any means i just think he is confused and doesnt know what he wants but the simple thing is if he doesnt know what he wants he doesnt want me enough
Im doing everything i can to keep busy!!! Have even hit the gym big time had all his friends complimenting me sat night, no doubt that will get back to him!!!!!!!
I just really miss him x

Miss Fluff

Aw poor Loopsie, I feel for you. I really do. There is nothing worse than a guy not knowing what he wants/being confused etc as you know in your heart of hearts that they do care about you. Trying to reconcile that with the fact that maybe not enough unfortunately is a tough one.

You are 100% doing the right thing by not inviting him though. Why should he reap the benefits of being in your company when he hurt you like that? And do you want your birthday night marred by the fact that he is there? What if he scores someone? What if you invite him and for one reason or another he can't turn up? He has the potential to ruin your night.

You're in the driving seat now and while it is painful in the short-term to take such a stance you are doing yourself a whole world of favours. If he REALLY wants you he will fight for you m'dear, don't give him an inch. And in the meantime you get on with continuing at the gym, having fun with your friends and being fabulous.

Happy birthday by the way:)

Loopsie

Thanks Miss Fluff!!! The big 3 0!!!! ha ha
Do you think i should get in contact with him at all or just leave it now and see if he contacts me?????
I hate this feeling SOOOOOOOOO much!

Miss Fluff

Personally speaking I wouldn't contact him. Nothing has changed. You are still broken up. He doesn't deserve to have all the benefits of your company after breaking up with you tbh. There's no point, and it will only cause you confusion. Continue to give him all the space in the world and don't invite him to your birthday, no matter how tempting it is.

Nevyn

What are you hoping for that him being there will be the night you make up and live happily ever after?
What if that doesn't happen?
What if him being there ruins your night?
What if him being there stops you meeting someone else who may turn out to be the person you live the rest of your life with?

Don't invite him, have your birthday, if he want to be in your life and to be in a relationship with you he will come talk to you and ask you out.