In love with two men?

LegacyUser

While Im not basing my eventual decision on what I read, I'm curious to know what other people think.
So Guy 1, I dated for four years until his work became a problem, we didnt see eachother at all and eventually seperated. About six months after we seperated I met Guy 2 who I had always known but had never actually talked to. When we started talking I really started to like him, he was funny, handsome, smart, the whole package and I came ot really care about him, we started dating and have been for about a year. The whole time me and Guy 1 kept up contact, not lovey dovey contact, we saw eachother maybe twice after we seperated, but we just kept in touch. Now recently Guy 1 quit his job for a job with shorter hours, better pay, etc. and he wants to be together again because he says that he still loves me and always had and always will. I tried fruitlessly to pursue him for months after we seperated but he was always busy so I thought he had moved on, so I moved on as well.

NOW, at the present, Guy 2 and I have been dating for a year though he isn't very ambitious, is sort of a cheapskate, and hides things. But he does genuinly care about me and I care about him alot too. He's very sweet and caring. My best friend thinks that he is just in it for the... uhm yea, you know.

Guy 1 and I went out to lunch a few times since he got his new job, just to chat and catch up, and I know I still have feelings for him that are extremely strong, we just have natural chemistry. But he is possessive, a little boring sometimes, and not incredably bright. But he has a heart of gold that he tries to cover up.

Sorry this is so long, I just felt like the backstory was relavent for some reason haha anyway... thought thought thoughts?

supremenovice

Hi OP
Im certainly no expert but, from a male perspective, it sounds like youre all about Guy1.
The words "natural chemistry" and "extremely strong" jump out at me.
If you didnt see either of them again for 10 years, who would you miss?
From reading that it sounds like youve never gotten over Guy1 and Guy2 did a decent job of filling the gap.

Nevyn

Either you are polyamorous or you just haven't' meet the right person.

sporina

who ever you think of first thing in the morning - he's the one..

JonathanAnon

Guy 1 and I went out to lunch a few times since he got his new job, just to chat and catch up, and I know I still have feelings for him that are extremely strong, we just have natural chemistry. But he is possessive, a little boring sometimes, and not incredably bright.

Guy 2 and I have been dating for a year though he isn't very ambitious, is sort of a cheapskate, and hides things. But he does genuinly care about me and I care about him alot too. He's very sweet and caring. My best friend thinks that he is just in it for the... uhm yea, you know.

Is there a Guy number 3?? you dont exactly market Guys 1 and 2 very well..

LegacyUser

JonathanAnon wrote: »

Is there a Guy number 3?? you dont exactly market Guys 1 and 2 very well..

just trying to be honest hahaha no one is perfect! but they both have awesome qualities too

Micahelxcx

Me thinks you might be narcisstic.
Two guys are never the same. You have both characters summed up to a tee.
But what about you. What makes you so special? I'm surprised that after four years of a relationship yo were able to go into another relationship within six months.
But I get the feeling you are an attention seeker and are enjoying all the attention these two guys are giving you.
Maybe step back and ask yourself what can I do for these two guys?
You say Guy No 1 ignored your attempts to pursue him after your relationship was over.
If a girl did that to me I wouldn't give her a second thought if she came back to me and asked me to go out with her.
Sorry, I don't do seconds.
I think you need to look at your own personality and ask yourself what do you contribute to a relationship rather than be pointing out the negative aspects of these two guys' personalities.

Taltos

Unregistered wrote: »

While Im not basing my eventual decision on what I read, I'm curious to know what other people think.

I am just glad I am neither of these guys.
Not sure who I pity more - I wonder if they are aware of what you are considering and how you view them.

Suggest you show them this thread and let them decide. At least then they will have all the facts.

My honest suggestion is to end it with both and just spend some time alone - maybe a year or two. You appear to have gone very fast from one reasonably long term relationship into another and I am not sure if you really know what you want.

Karmafaerie

Don't string them along, and don't make the mistake of stringing yourself along either.

It's not fair to either of them, or you.

You need to sit down, on your own, and think things through.
You're not going to get validation from us, or from your own friends.

Only you can make the decision, so you need to be introspective for a while here.
Don't think about their faults or qualities.
Think about ye as a couple, and who you see yourself living the rest of your life with.


Best of luck, hope you make the right choice.