20 year old male embarrassed about being skinny

LegacyUser

I don't know if I'm even asking for any kind of advice, but I just really want to let this out.

All my life I've been the skinny one, I didn't give a sh*t about it at all, until my later school years when it really became obvious.
All the other guys either just turned ridiculously "beefed up" or just naturally well proportioned, while I was skinny & awkward looking.

My arms in particular look very frail & sickly, while my shoulders are surprisingly broad, so I suppose they emphasis how thin I am (maybe that's just in my head, I don't know.)

I find it a bit hard to find clothes as well, because of my shoulders I can't really pull off that "fashion skinny look", so most of the things I buy just hangs off me like a scarecrow, & I hate walking up to the shopkeeper & asking,
"Do you have this in a small?" OH GOD, CRINGE!!!!!!!

I tried doing weights as well (for a whole year) but it didn't seem to do a lot, I'll probably carry on with it again, but it's slightly discouraging how ridiculously slow the process of growing is.

About a year after I left school I just said "fu*k it", & simply accepted this is how I am. & it helped a lot.
But recently I had to work on a construction site for work experience, I think some guys may have been sniggering at me, but by the end they seemed impressed & some actually completely shocked how well I was doing.

But on day 1, the main security guy (when asking about my high vis jacket size) said,
"What size are ya? double XL?"
now, I wasn't offended about this whatsoever, I actually found it funny. but ever since then it just got me thinking about how I look all over again, & now I'm feelng like I'm back on square one in 5th year.

Anyway I don't really know what else to say, sorry if I pissed anyone off, I know this can be a touchy subject for some, & I could be a lot worse off.
Thanks for reading.

HavingCrack

You'd prefer to be fat so?? I'm sure theres plenty of people who'd gladly swap..:p

Ste.phen

It sounds to me like there's two ways to deal with this:
1) you're not likely to change, so you need to learn to become comfortable with yourself
2) you could take steps to change, via changing your diet and exercise to try and put on weight in a healthy way

I guess both would be best, maybe investigate how you can adjust your body shape to something you're more comfortable with, while also accepting that you're just built a certain way and can't break too far out that mold without being very unhealthy...

Cuddlesworth

When doing weights you need to intake a large amount of protein in order to gain weight and muscle. Try the fitness forum here to get a good workout plan and diet. Keep in mind though as you get older and the guys around you get bigger around the waist, while you fill out a small bit the girls will be far more attracted to you.

barleybooley

Hi OP,
My boyfriend's really skinny, all his clothes are a small and he just can't put on weight at all. He doesn't really care though and I wouldn't have him change. I know another guy who is really skinny but he bulked up on his shoulders and chest and arms and now he looks ridiculous like an upside-down triangle or something, it's awful! So I'd say as long your healthy it's okay and you should just accept it! Hope this helps...

_sparkie_

i am a very skinny guy too but unlike you i embrace it, its better then being obese is how i look at it. although if you dont like it then change it, go over to the fitness forum. in order to gain weight you dont just start lifting weights, you need a diet that will compliment weight gain.

good luck!

muinteoir09

OP, what age are you?

You won't stay skinny forever. I found it next to impossible to put on weight when I was younger but not any more.

Sangre

If you do want to keep up the weights head over to the fitness forum and you'll see that everyone can gain weight with a proper diet and exercise. If you're lifting enough you should be consuming maybe 3000-4000 calories a day in order to increase your weight. If your progress has been slowly you almost certainly haven't been eating enough.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
You are young, your body will change naturally over the next few years.

Don't worry about it, these things always seem worse in your own head.

Good luck, and don't be worrying. x

Oisinjm

Hey, I used to be really skinny, very very skinny and underweight. I sorted my weight out by eating everything in sight, drinking lots of milk and lifting heavy weights. Go to the Fitness forum and read the stickies. The guys over there will help you out barrel loads. I went from 10 stone to now 13 stone of mainly muscle (no six pack unfortunately haha).

Good luck,
Oisín

mikemac

I'm like you OP, I've never seen anyone with such thin and weak arms as me. But realy that's down to lack of training on my part, anyone can make progress.
And this thread is a kick in the ass for me too!

There are an infinite number of programs you can do, head over to the fitness forum.

If you read the fitness logs and do a search you'll hear Starting Strength a lot.

There are books you can buy off Amazon, free info here
http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/Starting_Strength_Wiki

Realy, I'm not recommending one program over another, this is just probably what you'll be suggested in the fitness forum

MicraBoy

I don't really want to pimp Precision Nutrition or Scrawny to Brawny, but I watched this video yesterday and it just seemed too relevent to this thread to not post it.

Check out John Berardi on going from skinny guy to big muscle dude. I think the fitness forum could provide the sort of mentoring he is talking about in this video.

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/jb-on-s2b

NB: the video is a bit of sales pitch, please try to ignore that and listen to what he is saying about his experiences!

Miss Fluff

You need to be eating the right foods in conjunction with the right exercise to build muscle mass. You should definitely post on the Fitness forum and they will be able to help you.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=252

Karmafaerie

I was always the tall skinny one myself.

When I was 20-21, I was 6ft 1 and weighed 10 stone.
I also had the broad shoulders issue.

Thing is, as was pointed out here already, firstly, lifting weights will do nothing for you unless you know what you're doing.
It's pointless.

You need low reps with heavy weights and a particular diet depending on what way you want to grow.
(As was said here a few times, head to the fitness forum, as they will be able to give you so much advice).

Secondly, believe me, you will start to fill out.
I've always had a super fast metabolism, and I eat like a horse, but it never changed me.
But when I decided to gain weight properly, I learned how, when, and what to eat.
Once you train your body, it learns to recognise and adapt to it.

The 12 stone I weigh now sits on me a lot better than the 10 did a few years back.
I didn't want to get superbig as it would never suit me, so be careful of that too.
You need to let your body grow into itself, while at the same time work at what you want.
And once you have it, you can't leave it.

For me being fit is so important.

I play rugby, football, I box, and I run marathons, so my body is used to consant activity.
If I didn't do all that I do, and ate like I do now, I'd end up with a lovely pot belly for my naturally lean frame, which would look a hell of a lot worse than skinny ever did!;)


Thirdly, I can't tell you enough how awesome chicken is!:P

DigiGal

Nothing at all wrong with being a skinny guy, if you havent noticed thin is in. Just pop into Urban Outfitters and everything is in a small!

My is also really skinny and was bothered about it so he started taking whey and doing weights every second day and he is a good bit bigger, if you really want to change but personally i think I skinny bloke is lovely, makes a refreshing change from the upside-down triangle rugby players!

entropi

hey you, skinny boy!! wrote: »

I don't know if I'm even asking for any kind of advice, but I just really want to let this out.

All my life I've been the skinny one, I didn't give a sh*t about it at all, until my later school years when it really became obvious.
All the other guys either just turned ridiculously "beefed up" or just naturally well proportioned, while I was skinny & awkward looking.

My arms in particular look very frail & sickly, while my shoulders are surprisingly broad, so I suppose they emphasis how thin I am (maybe that's just in my head, I don't know.)

I find it a bit hard to find clothes as well, because of my shoulders I can't really pull off that "fashion skinny look", so most of the things I buy just hangs off me like a scarecrow, & I hate walking up to the shopkeeper & asking,
"Do you have this in a small?" OH GOD, CRINGE!!!!!!!

I tried doing weights as well (for a whole year) but it didn't seem to do a lot, I'll probably carry on with it again, but it's slightly discouraging how ridiculously slow the process of growing is.

About a year after I left school I just said "fu*k it", & simply accepted this is how I am. & it helped a lot.
But recently I had to work on a construction site for work experience, I think some guys may have been sniggering at me, but by the end they seemed impressed & some actually completely shocked how well I was doing.

But on day 1, the main security guy (when asking about my high vis jacket size) said,
"What size are ya? double XL?"
now, I wasn't offended about this whatsoever, I actually found it funny. but ever since then it just got me thinking about how I look all over again, & now I'm feelng like I'm back on square one in 5th year.

Anyway I don't really know what else to say, sorry if I pissed anyone off, I know this can be a touchy subject for some, & I could be a lot worse off.
Thanks for reading.

OP, I know how you feel...I was always a thin guy and was constantly thinking about the same things and thinking people were silently criticising me all the time even if they only cast a quick glance my way. Over the years though I have learned to appreciate who I am, what I look like and to be quite honest, if someone has a problem with me, then that's their problem, not mine:) Keep thinking positive thoughts man, there's usually nobody doing the criticism but yourself so get back into weights, and get a proper program devised for you so that its actually effective (things need re-adjusting every 8 weeks or so btw to switch up training style, so your body doesnt get lazy) and just have a good outlook on life. The negative thinking will never fully go away, but in time you will be happy in your own skin trust me:)

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

When doing weights you need to intake a large amount of protein in order to gain weight and muscle. Try the fitness forum here to get a good workout plan and diet. Keep in mind though as you get older and the guys around you get bigger around the waist, while you fill out a small bit the girls will be far more attracted to you.

True that is, male physiology usually suggests that 35yrs+ the body will try shift weight towards the abdomen, but regular exercise can delay or prevent it along with a good diet and lifestyle.

Oh btw you do not need much more protein than you would normally need to consume during the day for your bodyweight for hypertrophy/muscle increase, but you need to greatly increase your calorie intake, as this is partly turned into fatty tissue, which is burned off for energy and replaced with muscle fibres.

don't be embarrassed wrote: »

Hi OP,
You are young, your body will change naturally over the next few years.

Don't worry about it, these things always seem worse in your own head.

Good luck, and don't be worrying. x

Aye, your body will naturally change every 8 years approx, so you could look totally different regards your size by 24, and again at 32:) Things will get better:)

LegacyUser

OP just on the flip side, I am quite muscular for rugby purposes and my girlfriend hates it! I stopped playing rugby after school and stopped weights and was a skinny guy when I met her. Took up rugby again in the last 2 years and put on 3 stone of muscle and my girlfriend wants the small me back! I've got 6 pack, big arms, huge shoulders etc. but she still prefers the skinny me. A LOT of girls feel the same. Theres a myth amongst men that women love the Arnie look and a small minority do, but the vast majority dont. The only compliments I seem to get are from other men. Honestly if I wasnt playing rugby I'd love to go back to being skinny again. I actually think women prefer it. Oh and theres been countless times I've had women say that they were afraid of me before they talked to me because they thought I was an aggressive steroid head... lol not exactly the impression most people want...

gavtron

I second what a few others have said here, head over to the fitness forum, there's agreat bunch of lads there if you're looking for advice and loads of information in the stickies as well about proper diet for whatever you want to achieve!

Join a gym and eat loads of food if you want to get big, or workout at home whichever suits you best! If you're too self concious to go to the gym don't worry about it, everyone is self concious about it at some point but the more you go the better you get...if you've never trained before you'll pack on sie no problem!

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I'm about the same age as you and have the same problem.

I used to work on sites all the time and always got the usual comments. Does come in handy though when theres work to be done in a small space lol

Anyway, I was always insecure about it so I decided I'd put my lean frame to good use.
Things like cross country running and cycling, you have a definite advantage I think as you wont be lugging unneccassary weight about the place.
I haven't done anything competitive yet but soon, once I've given up the fags I might lol

I'm still skinny, I don't think that'll ever change tbh. whey and stuf like that just gives me the ****s! But because of all the exercise I'm now alot more confident in myself and people are actually surprised if they see me topless, I don't have huge muscles but I'm starting to look a bit like bruce lee!
I don't know much about this fitness stuff but I usually do only a few reps of heavy weights followed by loads of reps of lighter weights a few times a week.

All that said, theres no harm in just being skinny! You don't have to bulk yourself up. But I reckon if your low on confidence like I was then any exercise really helps

LegacyUser

Hey everyone, OP here!

Thanks a lot for the feedback, some of the stuff was very eye-opening.
I suppose I'll do a mixture of doing weights (properly) & simply accepting how I am.

I'll head over to the fitness forum & seek some help & advice. I'm not too sure about going to gyms though, the closest one for me is "CRUNCH" in dun laoghaire, it's way too expensive & tbh all the "D4" lads there scare the bejesus out of me!!!
...I'll do it at my own place for now.

The last poster (2skinny2) some of the stuff you said really stayed in my head. I used to jog myself (max 10k) so maybe I'll focus on that as well as taking up cycling. It did seem more of a naturally suited activity for me instead of doing weights.

Thanks again everyone, I'll post another time if I'm having any problems or stress related to this.