Am I being used

LegacyUser

I will try keep this short and sweet.

I have been seeing someone for a few months now. Everything was going great, spent lots of quality time together etc.

I have a child from a serious relationship and my his father makes life difficult when i start a new relationship. He done this again here shoutin his odds off and what not. The lad im seeing seen this as too much hassle and said we should just be friends. Since then however it hasnt changed a thing, we are still seein each other but its like a big secret and we're not seeing other people. So in short am i just been used?? i mean he does say how much he cares about me and we're really good for each other but its as though i'm his dirty little secret

Taltos

I don't think you are being used at all.

Think that your new bf is just intimidated by your mental ex - and fully expected to just have a relationship with you.
Have to ask - why have you NOT sorted out your ex yet?
Have you even sought advice from police or lawyers to keep him away.

Until you deal with your old baggage - how can you expect to move on with a new one.
Decide what you want - then let your new bf know what it is and what you expect from him. However - if you have not sorted your ex - then would not expect this to proceed any differently that it is.

Your current bf - just wants a quiet life - and rightly so is not getting involved in your past relationship. Hope he sticks around long enough for you to sort out the ex.

LegacyUser

i have tried sorting things with the ex but things only remain calm for awhile he then looses it again over something.
I try to keep him away but he has to see his soon and picks him up from my house but does not apeak to me at all even to saqy hello. He is just a very jealous person and does not want anyone trying to "daddy" his son which i agree with and woulld never try to replace him like that. We've been through the courts.

KildareCross

you sound like a bit of hard work or maybe a bootie call

shellyboo

Sounds to me like he's trying to minimise hassle for the both of you by keeping it quiet and away from your ex. Who is your problem, by the way. Don't blame the lad you're seeing for shying away from your baggage - that's his perogative. If you have a problem with being kept a secret, sort out your ex so it's safe for you to be in a relationship publicly.

Taltos

OK - so you have tried to sort things out with the ex.

Suggest now playing it strictly by the rules.
> barring order
> limited / controlled access
Any breach report him immediately.

In the meantime - be open with your current bf. Tell him that you are not some secret lover - either it is out in the open or it is finished.
Chances are though until your ex behaves himself that your current and others will stay away.

Face it - you deserve to have a life. Don't just sit back and let your agressive jealous ex rule your life - take control and steer your life how you want it to go.
With or without your current bf.

LegacyUser

thanx taltos guess thats what i needed to hear from an independant person

Victor

KildareCross wrote: »

you sound like a bit of hard work or maybe a bootie call

That sounds a bit harsh and judgemental.

KildareCross

Victor wrote: »

That sounds a bit harsh and judgemental.

Yea i suppose it does reading back over it sorry