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Boyfriend's father living off him

  • 31-05-2010 12:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello all,

    I'm hoping somebody can offer me some advice because I don't know what to do.

    My boyfriend's father has no job and no income so applies for loans and credit cards in my boyfriend's name and in his brothers names. I have no idea of the total amount and his father is just a bully and gets aggressive if anybody asks.

    My boyfriend is also building a house which the father took control of and very little work has been done but the first draw down of €50k has been spent and now the father is looking to draw down more. Obviously the money has been spent on the father's living expenses as he has a huge mortgage however my boyfriend won't/doesn't want to believe this.

    I just can't live like this anymore, I love my boyfriend dearly buy him not facing up to these issues is destroying us. He won't challenge his father as to where the money went.

    I don't know what to do. Do I have a future with somebody like this? We can't go on holidays etc this year because my boyfriend has to pay loans that the father took out?

    Please help me as I honestly don't know where to turn.


Comments

  • #2
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    258 wrote: »
    Obviously the money has been spent on the father's living expenses as he has a huge mortgage however my boyfriend won't/doesn't want to believe this.

    I just can't live like this anymore, I love my boyfriend dearly buy him not facing up to these issues is destroying us. He won't challenge his father as to where the money went.

    I don't know what to do. Do I have a future with somebody like this? We can't go on holidays etc this year because my boyfriend has to pay loans that the father took out?

    Oh God I feel so bad for you.

    The honest truth is there is no future for him other than living like a monk paying off this parasites debts, neve being able to go on holidays, buy things or have any financial freedom at all.

    They say when money goes out the door love does too. Because your boyfriend is in total denial it doesn't look like you two can do anything to stop this money haemmoraging out.

    The Father has spent the boyfriends next 10 years of future on himself, he has also possibly destroyed the lads credit rating.

    The father is a disgrace but there is a huge problem with your boyfriend too allowing him to get away with this outrageous exploitation. Its possible the Father has told the son all kinds of cock and bull stories that his 'investment' will come back to him in the future. Your boyfriend probably knows deep down he's screwed but can't face it.

    I would run a mile from this mess OP, before you get dragged into it as well.


  • #3
    Bob the Builder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,919 ✭✭✭Bob the Builder


    Cheap Thrills! wrote: »
    *snip*

    The Father has spent the boyfriends next 10 years of future on himself, he has also possibly destroyed the lads credit rating.

    *snip*

    I would run a mile from this mess OP, before you get dragged into it as well.
    That's a disgusting situation to be in. I really don't think you should stay there either. If you stay, you will get dragged in just like your boyfriend has. And although I hate to say it, unless your boyfriend and his brothers stand up to his dad, there is little you can do without alienating yourself from him.

    As regards what Cheap Thrills! says, he is doing nothing but destroying the credit rating of his son. And therefore, if you ever get married to him, etc. then you're credit rating will go down as well, guilty by association.

    You have to put the facts and figures on paper in front of your bf and his brothers. And if you alienate yourself, so be it. They will come to their senses eventually...

    .. hopefully when it's not too late.


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