relationship meltdown

LegacyUser

the love and fizzle in my relationship with gf of 5 years has all but gone, we're constantly at each other throats about something, I'm 30, she's 34, and she's a bit more mature then myself. I like to go out at weekends with mates etc, she hardly touches a drop. she's from Italy and they are not big on the idea of drinking as us paddy's like to do it,. We have a 2 year old who is now caught up in this. I love him dearly and don't want us to split really only for his sake. I'm supposed to be going back to college in sept for 4 years, a result of the recession,I've worked in construction since i was 17, but Im on the dole since January, we're scraping by financially,
Anyhow yesterday turned into a huge argument again, and she said when our lease is up on the house (sept) we were gonna separate to different houses, this was like a knife in my chest, she says lots of couples split and can manage the kid just fine, and she'd never leave the country with him, Im a great dad but we cant be together.
If she leaves me also i feel i wouldn't be able return to college, and then Im at a total loss what to do, no jobs here, etc I'd nearly go join the French Foreign Legion to get away from everything
I dont know what advice i'm looking for here, Im not good at emotions or love, I want us to be together but I dont know how to try and fix things,

depressed and angry

Denimgirl

it sounds like you just want her to stay for your own selfish needs,you can get your skills for a career in college.You said yourself that the love is gone and she agrees and wants to move out,it's not fair on a child to be stuck between 2 people that are arguing all the time so it's a responsible thing to do for your kid.but honestly it sounds to me you your gf to adapt to your way of living drink a bit more coz YOU like having a few drinks,don't move out coz YOU want to go to college coming a cross as very selfish to me!

LegacyUser

need_to_fix_things wrote: »

,
Anyhow yesterday turned into a huge argument again, and she said when our lease is up on the house (sept) we were gonna separate to different houses, this was like a knife in my chest,

That must have really hurt. Look at the whole picture objectively though: the both of you are under financial stress which takes its toll on any relationship. You have a two year old son, this means you can't go out drinking with the lads the way you used to. Having a child is a huge responsibility, the mother's life is irreversibly changed, and so is the father's. Your drinking might be causing your partner to look at you in a new light-all she can probably see is a partner who isn't too bothered about sharing the responsibility of rearing a child. It's a tough job, and both parents have to put their utmost into it, which means no weekend benders with the lads.

You can salvage the relationship by showing your partner that you're willing to take your role as father seriously. Going back to college is another good start too. Communication is key, it's not wrong to want to go out, but you need to have a serious think which comes first-your family or your friends as they both can't come first.