Sexless relationship

LegacyUser

Hey everyone, gonna try make this as short and simple as possible.

So I met a girl a few years ago and everything was great, shes beautiful, good fun, great personality. Everyone loves her including my family.

So when we were dating sex was pretty normal, she was a bit conservative in the bedroom but things were still good. I'd initiate everything.

So this continued for a while and we decided to get married. So its been almost 2 years since we got married and now things couldn't be more different.

Sex has a rare event since 2 or 3 weeks after our wedding, once every two weeks would be about average. Now this isn't for lack of trying, I try to initiate it almost every day and a slew of these excuses are thrown at me; I don't feel well, I'm sick, I'm tired, I want to shower first (an excuse not to have it, not a delay), I need to be in 'the mood'.

I've brought this up with her many times, the last time she said "I want everything to be perfect for sex, I want to be in the mood etc".

So in summary, when we dated sex was conservative but OK. After marriage its almost non-existent. If I didn't initiate it I can say with a 100% guarantee that it would never happen.

So right now I'm thinking of just giving up, maybe have a one night stand every now and again.

The thing that really gets to me, the thing that really upsets me is not that we aren't having sex, its that she doesn't want to have sex.

I deeply love my wife but this issue is really taking its toll. Apart from this we are perfectly happy.

By the way, she also wants to have a baby soon, seemingly unaware that one (baby) requires the other (sex). I can only see this situation get even worse if we had a child and I'm not willing to live a sexless life.

stackerman

Show her this post, then ask her what she thinks . . .
Sounds like she may have some issues she needs to sort out.

Taltos

This definitely sounds like one that needs open and honest communication between you both.

You may also need to accept that for her being asked (pestered) for sex 7 days a week might not sit too well. If she is working etc she might well be very tired - and could at this stage feel more like a sex object than an attractive woman... Only guessing here.

However - regardless of wanting sex daily you both do need to talk about this. There have been so many posts here from folk who are now in sexless marriages and desperately sad. Work on it now before it goes on longer.

Would also suggest that having a child - is taken 100% out of the equation until your relationship is rock solid - and having a kid now would be irresponsible - ie if things continue as they are or get worse - and you want to have a healthy relationship - then you might have to leave this marriage for any chance of happiness... Hence made messier by having a child thinking they have been abandoned...

Permabear

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